Hubrid Nox: Harmless Chia, or Power Hungry Maniac?
HAUNTED WOODS - Curious to investigate, after seeing numerous Hubrid Nox artefacts
in the Hidden Tower, my trusty Scorchio, Bluefire104 and I, Bluescorchio104,
decided to discover more about this mysterious Chia. After I contacted some
of my more shady associates, I managed to find out where Hubrid Nox resided.
Wouldn't you know it, he just happens to live in the most spooky place in Neopia,
the infamous Haunted Woods (just ain't that a coincidence). Wasting no time,
we set off for the Haunted Woods immediately (well, apart from that huge lunch).
When we got there, we headed straight for Hubrid's residence, turning right
at the Brain Tree and left at the Pumpkin Patch. Once at the place, which appeared
to be no more than a patch of damp soil, Buefire104 performed a ritual, which
consisted of dancing around a Broken Blue Chia Plushie, waving around an Attack
Fork and shouting "Xon Dirbuh" repeatedly. Hardly after he had finished, than
a huge, menacing castle rose slowly from the ground, complete with towers, stone
battlements, portcullis, and a moat, which appeared to be filled with thick
green sludge. Cautiously, Bluefire104 flew me up to the stone battlements, since
the drawbridge was up and there was no other visible way to enter.
Once on top of the stone battlements, I searched for a way into the castle,
and the task was not made any easier by Bluefire104's constant grumbling over
how much weight I'd gained since the last time he last flew me somewhere. To
my delight, I spotted a plain looking wooden door leading into one of the towers.
Once I had persuaded Bluefire104 to burn down the door with a fireball, we stepped
inside. The tower was sparsely furnished, with a few Wooden Chairs and an old
Wooden Desk. We travelled down the tower's stairwell and through several winding
corridors and up and down a few staircases. Eventually, we came upon a huge,
cavernous room, which was gloomier and more depressing than any other room I
had ever seen (even Bluefire104 agreed that the décor was horrible). What do
you know, seated upon a throne that appeared to be made of Lupe skulls, and
surrounded by numerous Mutant Chias, was the head honcho himself, Hubrid Nox.
Once the Mutant Chias were alerted to my presence, they rushed over and forced
me to kneel before Hubrid Nox. Bluefire104 attempted to fight off the Chias,
but I told him not to resist, because a) Hubrid wouldn't be likely to do an
interview if his Mutant Chias minions ended up as crispy barbecue, and b) there
was no way Bluefire104 could possibly fight all those Mutant Chias at the same
time. It was at this point, I suppose, that the interview started.
Hubrid Nox: Kneel before the most powerful Neopet in all the land!
Bluescorchio104 (Bs104): Um, sir, do you mind if I do an interview?
Hubrid Nox: Silence! I saw you enter my domain. You have some nerve
for a human, don't you?
Bs104: Um, yes, but could you do this interview?
Hubrid Nox: How do I benefit from this arrangement? I'm not a fool,
Bs104: You get to tell Neopia just how evil, devious and cruel you
are, plus you get to strike fear into the hearts of Lupes everywhere.
Hubrid Nox: Hmmmm….. Sounds like a good deal, even though I usually
avoid consorting with you inferior creatures.
Bs104: Great! Now, I'd like to know, how did you create the Odial Sphere,
Puzzle Box and Noxious Sword?
Hubrid Nox: Quite simple really. All I did was get my minions to collect
a few rare magical items, and make a quick deal with Edna the Witch.
Bs104: You know Edna the Witch?
Hubrid Nox: Not personally, no. More of a business associate.
Bs104: Hmmmmm. I see. Are you afraid of Lupes?
Hubrid Nox: No, certainly not, because I could annihilate one with
a click of my mighty fingers. All you Lupes, even you horribly hideous baby
Lupes, out there, you had better be afraid, because I'm going to destroy you
all! Mu ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Bs104: Err, sure. Do you have any rivals or enemies?
Hubrid Nox: One, just one. It's that foul, disgusting, incredibly ugly,
repulsive, foul, vile nauseating Lupe!!!
Bs104: Um, which one exactly?
Hubrid Nox: Balthazar, of course. That faerie hunter sickens me!
Bs104: I guess it's not because you feel sorry for the faeries.
Hubrid Nox: Grrrr. I hate the Lupe with every fibre of my being!
Bs104: Why do you despise him so much? Besides the fact that he's a
Lupe of course.
Hubrid Nox: He trespasses on my territory! My muddy, swampy territory!
Not only that, he has the nerve to steal the Dark Faeries that inhabit the area!
Those faeries are mine, I tell you, MINE!!!!!!
Bs104: If you're so powerful, why don't you give him a whack with your
Noxious Blade or something?
Hubrid Nox: Unbelievably, Balthazar (curse his very name), is one of
those Lupes that aren't all weak and snivelling. Try as I may, I can't seem
to destroy him. But he can't destroy me either!
Bs104: Hmmmm, well Mister Nox, I've seemed to run out of questions.
Thank you for your time, and by the way, are there any final messages you might
like me to convey to the rest of Neopia?
Hubrid Nox: Of course there is. First of all, Dr, Sloth, I'd like you
to know that you're a weak, puny creature, but I do admire the pure evil of
your schemes. Second, I'd like to tell Neopia that you will never be able to
defeat Hubrid Nox, the Lupe-torturer and rightful ruler of the universe! Third,
I'd like all you Lupes to know that when I gain absolute power, I shall torture
you all for all of eternity! Lastly, I'd say to all Chias, fight and destroy
all the Lupes, or even better, join my invincible army!!! Mu ha ha ha ha ha!!
After listening to this final tirade, Bluefire104 and I started edging towards
from the staircase from where we came. Luckily, Hubrid appeared to be quite
occupied with his evil laugh, so we were able to get away out of his throne
room without much trouble. However, getting out of the castle was a different
matter all together. After several wrong turns (never, ever let your blue Scorchio
help you navigate) and a few close brushes with Mutant Chia guards, Bluefire104
and I managed to escape from the castle by way of an unguarded trapdoor, which
I convinced Bluefire104 to incinerate before I realised it was unlocked. Oh,
well, no matter. The trapdoor chute led to a corridor, and there was a small
hole in the wall, through which Bluefire104 and I wriggled out. We found ourselves
teetering on the edge of the moat, but luckily for us, Bluefire104 immediately
grabbed me and flew us over to the other side. We then proceeded to trek the
long, long way back to Neopia. That brings us to the present, and now we consider
the question: is Hubrid Nox merely a harmless Chia or a power hungry maniac?
Of course he's a power hungry maniac! What kind of idiotic freak would think
otherwise? Not only is he a power hungry maniac, he's an insane Chia hell-bent
on taking over Neopia and obliterating Lupes everywhere! Wait a minute, that
kind of sounds like my personality. No, just kidding. Anyway, I'll leave you
to draw your own conclusions, and try not to let my opinion influence your view
*Note: Ignore the bit where I said to draw your own conclusions, since Hubrid
is obviously nuts! I mean, what kind of normal Chia is that bloodthirsty? If you
don't think Hubrid is evil and has overly wicked ambitions, you are obviously
some weirdo who loves Chias to the point of being a fanatic, or hates Lupes to
the point of lunacy. Either one, you're still a freakish oddball.
**Note: Ignore the first note if you like Hubrid Nox.
***Note to Hubrid Nox: If you're reading this, and don't particularly approve
of the bits I put in there about you being insane and bloodthirsty, please don't
come over to my NeoHome and blast me into itty-bitty tiny little bits. I promise,
the Lupe lovers made me do it! Blame the Lupe lovers, not me!