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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 20th day of Running, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 42 > Articles > Unlocking the Secrets of the Snowager

Unlocking the Secrets of the Snowager

by druidgetafix

ICE CAVES - Sifting through thousands of Neopian Times articles, Neopedia entries, actual sites and other reliable sources, I embark on the sequel to my first article, "Unlocking the Secrets of the Ghost Lion", which was about a creature who is no more. Judging by the many Neopian Times articles I had to scrutinise, the Snowager must have suffered much pain under the hands of aspiring Neopian Times writers who had to place their stories into the articles category.

In "Again, the Neopian Conspiracy Theories" by Onugu, there is a query as to why there is no evidence to support the legend that the Snowager likes to eat NeoPets for every meal. Although I would not like to speak ill of a fellow Neopian Times reporter, I must say that I found it a self-contradictory statement, for if the statement were true, there can simply be two possibilities.

The first is that the Snowager eats his meals only once in a blue moon; the second is that the legend is untrue. For what verification is there that the Snowager does perform such a malicious act? None whatsoever. Legends have been spread by the word of mouth since the beginning of time, and are as unreliable as a biased article found in The Neopian Times. In Week 40, two articles had errors in them, the editor had to clear the misinterpretation in the following week's Editorial, mentioning that what articles say may not be true, they are just seen from one person's point of view. The same goes for legends.

Onugu's article continues, asking why no one has ever thought of charging into the caves with a Million Degree Sword to melt the Snowager. The Snowager is then accused of allowing people to steal a minute amount of items to keep them satisfied so as not to recruit an army against him. The same reasoning holds. If part of the write-up on the Snowager is false, there is no reason why the fact that the Snowager is made of ice cannot be incorrect either.

Also, as Nattynatalia explains in "Snowager… Misunderstood?", sneaking into someone's home and taking items without permission is considered trespassing and stealing. Why should the Snowager be detested for blasting you and your pets with an array of icicles when you are the one in the wrong? Would you like it if some greedy scammer took your hard-earned NP away? Then what is wrong with him shielding his collection from others?

What's more, he is helping to guard the items of other Neopians as a favour. If you look at the close-up picture of him when you enter his cave, notice that he is resting on a pile of very special Neggs. See for yourself: Glamour Neggs, Genius Neggs, Sneggs, the list goes on. That's right, all these Neggs can only be exchanged for in the Neggery. Where else do you think the Negg Faerie keeps her Neggs with such a cramped storehouse? She keeps them with the Snowager.

If you have had a chance at pilfering from the Snowager, you'd know that you had never gotten close to getting such rare items as Neggs before. Those items that you usually get essentially belong to the Snowager, who has placed his own valuable compilation at the bottom of his pile. Such a valiant and noble soul, as to sacrifice those he owns to protected those entrusted to him by others.

All in all, I am trying to say, like many others before me have attempted to do, stop hounding on the Snowager. Lay aside the reality that in your eyes he's nothing but a greedy worm and that he views all of you as petty thieves, and do your conscience a favour. The Snowager has enough problems of his own; let him remain there in peace.

If you wish to know more about a mystery in Neopia, Neomail me and I will do my best to unlock its secrets for you.

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