Who Is That Deckswabber, Anyway?
I’ve always been fascinated by the backgrounds of the famous, and I wanted
to know the background of the Deckswabber this time (the last time being when
I, along with millions of others, found out what that Meerca in Meerca Chase
was—a public volunteer).
I figured, “Who better to interview than the Deckswabber himself?” I went
up to his ship, but a Mynci pirate barred the way, saying he was swabbing the
deck (what else?) and couldn’t be bothered with. “Couldn’t he just take a second?”
The Mynci showered me with typical pirate insults. When a Techo showed up to
back the Mynci, I finally left.
So I went about, interviewing various citizens of Krawk Island, (but not Cap’n
Threelegs or any other Cap’n, they were unavailable) but none had any idea (though
a few looked rather shifty about it). After five days of this, I decided to
change tactics and call people to be interviewed by the Neopian noticeboard.
I was lounging around my NeoHome when the phone rang as if it needed to fling
itself off the hook towards me. I answered it, with my ever-paranoid Kau, Bannie69,
leaning over the phone. A nervous voice said, “Yes, is this Supersailormars?
I-I will interview with you about the Deckswabber. I, uh… well, m-meet me at
the… the Mystery Island Kitchen.” At this point, he sounded quite a bit spiteful.
“I’m a yellow Wocky.”
Bannie cocked her head, as if wondering, and breathed, “A yellow Wocky?” I
stared at her; after all, she was a yellow Wocky when I adopted her. Rayeskitty
and Valeru, my Aisha and Kougra, who had snuck over, were similarly confused.
PadfootsPet, my Eyrie, was sittitng in the corner paying no attention. Bannie,
Rayeskitty and Valeru all decided to accompany me to the interview in the kitchen.
The instant I arrived, I saw the Wocky, eyes like caverns, having a very serious
discussion with the Flotsam chef in the back corner. I asked, “May I come in?”
The Wocky hesitantly nodded, after which the Flotsam did a bit more surely.
“So,” I asked the Wocky with great reporterly manner, “what’s your name?”
“C-call me Goldy, everyone does.” He seemed to be intimidated by my tone of
Bannie fiddled with the cogs in her mind. “Goldy…” I looked at Bannie oddly
“Tell us, what do you know about this Deckswabber?”
The Wocky regained some composure. “What do I know about him, you ask? Supersailormars…”
His voice dropped to his old urgent tone again. “I—I KNEW him. The first thing
that comes to mind… he was practically first onto Mystery Island, and he gave
us—me and her (but she doesn’t concern this)… three totems apiece as well. His
owner was well off… he bought himself a Mystery Island phone, by a private craftsman.
N-nothing like it elsewhere. D-don’t think I-I’ll ever see it again…”
Rayeskitty gasped. She looked like she was trying hard not to say something,
and repressing emotion as well. I, however, was lost (but rather moved).
“He got a lot of calls on that thing; he was quite popular,” said “Goldy,"
talking steadily now. “I remember that one Korbat had a magical device to tell
when he was out of the water… that was annoying.” He allowed himself a weak
grin. “The water… perhaps I should explain myself. He, me and her, it was an
utter mistake but… we opened the way to M-M-Maraqua—“
“S-Sark-Sarkis…?” I croaked.
“Y-y-yes, but n-not so loud. After Chiazilla defeated the siege on Maraqua,
we took up residence with Chesterpot… we had all achieved celebrity status,
and were very rich. We gave donations to the cook--“
The Flotsam, whose eyes had been quietly filling this whole time, said solemnly,
“I was her apprentice.”
“And the cook would have been paid by the King if he didn’t have ‘financial
constraints,’ as he always said.” At this point, “Goldy” stood up and punched
the air. “Oh, if I knew what those were, none of this!” He sat back down. “The
King always was a ninny. He never asked for donations, but if I had seen the
desperate situation… but then Sarkis went missing. The ransom note was mailed
straight to the King. It asked for sixty million Neopoints, said 'You know who
to pay.' But there was no such money in the whole royal family. That King had
gotten himself deep into debt. Then the Captain, the Skull Kiko… he came. He
asked for payment, but of course nobody could fill that request but the King
himself… and steering that fateful submarine was my old friend S-Sarkis, in
t-typical pirate gear, looking pale as the palace. When the King said he couldn’t
pay, the... the whirlpool started… a huge cavern opened at the foot of the palace.
The King, Chiazilla... they were all lost.“
At this point Mumbo Pango yelled, “I can’t stand going hungry for one more
second! You there! Stop talking to the cook!” We walked out forlornly and separated
paths with Buckley (who else could it be?). We went on our way.
One question remains. Why would Sarkis stay with the destuctor of the land
he most cherished, as his servant? You can find that out; personally, I didn’t
have the nerve to ask any Krawk inhabitant about it anymore.