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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 2nd day of Relaxing, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 36 > Articles > Dr_Death Speaks Out

Dr_Death Speaks Out

by kiaralee5442

Note to the reader: The other day as I was on my way to read the latest issue of The Neopian Times, I bumped into Dr_Death, who as well know looks after the Neopian Pound. He gave me this letter and asked me to submit it for him, as he would get in trouble if he was away from work for too long.


Neopia is a place of free speech and all are entitled to their own opinion. I must say, however, that the attention focused on me lately (negative or otherwise) is overwhelming. I've been able to keep my mouth shut about the scattering of articles I've read in the past telling the masses of Neopia that I torture and starve the pets I keep track of. Despite the falseness of these claims, it has been good business and eased my job a bit. As long as people are afraid to leave their pets with me, there won't be as many homeless Neopets, which is the goal of the pound in the first place.

I would like to take this moment, by the way, to inform you all that my job involves dealing with so many people and so much paperwork that I wonder where some people have gotten the idea that I actually would have the *time* to singlehandedly cause all of our adoptees misery.

I have read over some of the interviews with the Times' journalists and found that either liberties had been taken with my words or that I was spoken with shortly after opening for the morning and was not quite awake, so things were left unanswered and assumed. I hope to clear some of these issues up as I write this.

After the latest scandal that has popped up involving my alleged slaughter of pets to feed the masses of unwanted animals in the pound, I find it necessary to defend myself. I assure the readers of this paper that the pound is supplied with more than enough kibble by the Employment Agency Treasury to meet the needs of our adoptees. I have not now, nor ever, maimed or destroyed any of the animals that have been left here. To do so would violate my employment contract, and also goes against my general principals of upholding the title of "Doctor".

My attitude has come into question many times and yes, I am not afraid to admit that I'm a wasp to my customers. When one has worked at my job as long as I have, and dealt with as many ungrateful and insulting people as I have, one gets that way. I fulfill my duties and keep records on the animals we've taken in up-to-date, and don't see why I should go the extra mile anymore. Attempting to talk owners out of disowning their pets has gotten me into many verbal arguments, and by the same token, many seem to take my offering of sympathy the wrong way and accuse me of patronizing them. So, no. Don't expect a smile and a handshake from me when you come through the door. If that makes me "evil" or "insane", then so be it.

There has also been concern voiced about whether or not pound pets are given an adequate water supply. Given that we are a large establishment, and that there are far too many Neopets to give them all proper attention, we've used the recently-increased abandonment funding to install a watering system that systematically refills each cage's water bowl every two hours, as it was taking pound assistants far too long to attend to the individual needs of each animal and that some, indeed, were going thirsty.

Another question that often pops up is how we constantly have room to house abandoned Neopets in our establishment, and why we have never filled up. Because of this, the rumor has circulated that Neopets are "put to sleep" if they are unable to find a home. While it has been explained to me that this is common practice in animal shelters in places other than Neopia, Neopets are held in the same regard here that humans are held in on Earth, and to destroy one outside of the normal predator/prey environment violates federal law (supposedly why Lupes and Chias are still legally at each other's throats).

When a pet has been in the pound for longer than a month with no prospective adopters, it is handed over to a rehabilitation program hosted on Mystery Island, with the intent of reintroducing the pet to their base instincts and allowing them to learn to fend for themselves in Neopia's wilderness or, if the pet in question requests it, they are sent to a workers' guild, where they become an apprentice to one of the many Neopia's shopkeepers, and learn a trade of their own.

To conclude this tirade, I hope I've answered some of your questions about the pound and my involvement with it. I'm not expecting to change everyone's mind, but I've said my peace, and hope that I've educated at least a few of you. To the editor, thank you for allowing me the chance to have my say on this issue.


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