Dr_Death Speaks Out
Note to the reader: The other day as I was on my way to read the latest
issue of The Neopian Times, I bumped into Dr_Death, who as well know looks after
the Neopian Pound. He gave me this letter and asked me to submit it for him,
as he would get in trouble if he was away from work for too long.
REGARDING THE POUND
Neopia is a place of free speech and all are entitled to their own opinion.
I must say, however, that the attention focused on me lately (negative or otherwise)
is overwhelming. I've been able to keep my mouth shut about the scattering of
articles I've read in the past telling the masses of Neopia that I torture and
starve the pets I keep track of. Despite the falseness of these claims, it has
been good business and eased my job a bit. As long as people are afraid to leave
their pets with me, there won't be as many homeless Neopets, which is the goal
of the pound in the first place.
I would like to take this moment, by the way, to inform you all that my job
involves dealing with so many people and so much paperwork that I wonder where
some people have gotten the idea that I actually would have the *time* to singlehandedly
cause all of our adoptees misery.
I have read over some of the interviews with the Times' journalists and found
that either liberties had been taken with my words or that I was spoken with
shortly after opening for the morning and was not quite awake, so things were
left unanswered and assumed. I hope to clear some of these issues up as I write
After the latest scandal that has popped up involving my alleged slaughter
of pets to feed the masses of unwanted animals in the pound, I find it necessary
to defend myself. I assure the readers of this paper that the pound is supplied
with more than enough kibble by the Employment Agency Treasury to meet the needs
of our adoptees. I have not now, nor ever, maimed or destroyed any of the animals
that have been left here. To do so would violate my employment contract, and
also goes against my general principals of upholding the title of "Doctor".
My attitude has come into question many times and yes, I am not afraid to
admit that I'm a wasp to my customers. When one has worked at my job as long
as I have, and dealt with as many ungrateful and insulting people as I have,
one gets that way. I fulfill my duties and keep records on the animals we've
taken in up-to-date, and don't see why I should go the extra mile anymore. Attempting
to talk owners out of disowning their pets has gotten me into many verbal arguments,
and by the same token, many seem to take my offering of sympathy the wrong way
and accuse me of patronizing them. So, no. Don't expect a smile and a handshake
from me when you come through the door. If that makes me "evil" or "insane",
then so be it.
There has also been concern voiced about whether or not pound pets are given
an adequate water supply. Given that we are a large establishment, and that
there are far too many Neopets to give them all proper attention, we've used
the recently-increased abandonment funding to install a watering system that
systematically refills each cage's water bowl every two hours, as it was taking
pound assistants far too long to attend to the individual needs of each animal
and that some, indeed, were going thirsty.
Another question that often pops up is how we constantly have room to house
abandoned Neopets in our establishment, and why we have never filled up. Because
of this, the rumor has circulated that Neopets are "put to sleep" if they are
unable to find a home. While it has been explained to me that this is common
practice in animal shelters in places other than Neopia, Neopets are held in
the same regard here that humans are held in on Earth, and to destroy one outside
of the normal predator/prey environment violates federal law (supposedly why
Lupes and Chias are still legally at each other's throats).
When a pet has been in the pound for longer than a month with no prospective
adopters, it is handed over to a rehabilitation program hosted on Mystery Island,
with the intent of reintroducing the pet to their base instincts and allowing
them to learn to fend for themselves in Neopia's wilderness or, if the pet in
question requests it, they are sent to a workers' guild, where they become an
apprentice to one of the many Neopia's shopkeepers, and learn a trade of their
To conclude this tirade, I hope I've answered some of your questions about
the pound and my involvement with it. I'm not expecting to change everyone's
mind, but I've said my peace, and hope that I've educated at least a few of
you. To the editor, thank you for allowing me the chance to have my say on this