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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 28th day of Running, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 34 > Articles > Horrors at the Neopian Pound

Horrors at the Neopian Pound

by magentalizard

There has been a conspiracy of late in Neopia. Several articles have been written, and cartoons have been drawn that show a "kinder, gentler" Dr_Death. However, have you ever stopped to think just how the head of the Neopian Pound got such a bad reputation in the first place?

As a member of NOPE I have been doing some research into just how some NeoPets end up as food instead of with loving owners.

My first clue was the descriptions of some of the foods NOPE would like to have banned. The Meerca Pie's description says, "Oh no, how horrible... looks like this particular Meerca bounced too close to the Witch's home!" while the Hair Stuffed Maggot's description says, "The biggest maggot Edna could find stuffed with as much Jubjub hair as possible!" Obviously a visit with Edna at her Haunted Woods home was in order.

When I arrived at Edna's Tower, she immediately asked me to find some ingredients to complete her "Magic Spell of Lenny Transforming." When I interrupted to ask her what part she plays in making NeoPets into food, Edna shouted at me, "I have no time to go looking around for NeoPets, I can't even stop my work long enough to get ingredients for my potions!!! If it's NeoPets you want, Dr_Death at the Neopian Pound has more than he can handle! Now are you going to get those ingredients or not!!!!" I got her the Joint of Ham she was asking for, she gave me some NP and a tongue with veggies (I was too scared to ask where the tongue came from), and I scarpered.

Having obtained this information, I started looking into the past of Dr_Death. The Neopedia says:

"The once happy Techo is a now a grumpy old fellow, who wishes he didn't have to see all the helpless young NeoPets that are left to starve each day."

Perhaps I had stumbled upon a motive! Dr_Death has more abandoned pets than he can deal with, and no way to feed them. But no, feeding them to each other, that would just be wrong! I needed to talk to the man himself.

I went to the pound and looked at the pets there, and I have to admit, none of them looked particularly hungry, even the ones who had been there for months. I found Dr_Death and asked him how he manages to feed so many pets. After all, the 80-some NP it takes to adopt a level one pet can't even feed that single pet for more than a few days. How can he feed all the pets who don't get adopted quickly? Dr_Death glared at me (well, he usually looks that way anyway) and replied, "Who have you been talking to? This is hard work, taking care of all these pets, when people get NP for creating new pets, but it costs to adopt one… *grumbles incoherently* …how did they think I was going to feed them all… *mumbles to himself as he walks away from me* …so, so hungry...." At some point, seeing the pets he once loved starving to death seems to have snapped Dr_Death's grip on reality. He had to do something, but this is insanity!

I haven't obtained exclusive proof, but it appears that, to feed the masses of abandoned pets, Dr_Death has begun to make some of them into food for the others. To cover his tracks, he has sold some under the guise of "spooky food", while others (such as Stick-O-Mynci) are sold in Tyrannia. Still others are sold in space, which implies Dr. Sloth may have had a hand in suggesting this diabolical scheme to Dr_Death's crippled mind.

Dr_Death has managed to find a way to afford to feed all the pets that have been abandoned, but at what cost to Neopia as a whole? To help end this atrocity, please, don't abandon your pets. A pet is a lifetime friend and commitment, not something to get rid of just because you played with it with the wrong toy and changed its species, or it's sick, or you just got bored with it. If you are thinking of adding a new pet to your family, please consider adopting one out of the pound. Lessening the load on Dr_Death may return him to his senses.

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