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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 6th day of Celebrating, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 32 > Articles > Neolodge Reviewed: Part One - Ew, What's That Smell?

Neolodge Reviewed: Part One - Ew, What's That Smell?

by babyxangel247

This is BaByxAnGeL247 reporting to you from the Neolodge. I will be staying in each Neolodge for a week and reviewing their services. I will rate the each Neolodge from 1 to 5 (5 being the highest) based on service, cleanliness, accommodations, cost and appearance.

Neolodge: Cockroach Towers
Cost: 5 Neopoints per night
NeoPet's Rating: 1 star

When I arrived at Cockroach Towers its outward appearance was nothing to write home about. The walkway outside the hotel was cracked and littered with trash. Inside wasn't much better. The floors were creaky and there was no wallpaper, plants or much light. I had to stumble up the stairs (there was no elevator) to find my way to my room. I noticed there were not many guests in the Neolodge This was very discouraging.

When I finally reached my room, the door was jammed and it took me a half hour to bust it open! And when I did, I wasn't sure it was worth the effort! In place of a bed there was a cot, in place of a window, there was a hole in the wall, and in place of a phone, there was a paper cup with a string attached!

Ordering from room service did not go much better. I ordered their finest soup of the day and was presented with a chilly helping of Toenail Soup! Gross! But what can you expect for 5 Neopoints a night? I knew I needed to get out. I went for a walk around the Hotel only to find there was no shops, restaurants or NeoPets in sight! What was going on here? I suppose the smell of cockroaches had driven everyone away.

Then end do the week did not come soon enough. When it was finally time for me to check out, I left with a very disappointed feeling. I was hoping at least 5 Neopoints could get you some decent service, but I suppose not. Would I suggest putting your poor NeoPet up here? No way. Isn't it enough they have to be without you? I wouldn't wish this Neolodge on anyone!

Final rating: 1 (little to no service, cold food, dirty and in need of renovations)


Neolodge: Fleapit Motel
Cost: 10 Neopoints per night
NeoPet's Rating: 1 star

Walking up to the one star Fleapit Motel, I knew nothing could be worse than the Cockroach Towers I stayed at the week before. But I was soon to see Fleapit Motel was only a notch above that. Walking into the Motel, flies swarmed around the door, probably attracted to the trash which had not been taken out in days! Unlike the Cockroach Towers, this hotel did have an elevator but it was broken. So I was left to lug my things up several flights of stairs.

When I reached my room, the door was already open for me. "How nice," I thought. But I was soon to see this was because there was no lock on my door. And due to some problem with the lock, the door would never completely close. Just my luck. So I unpacked my things and settled in on my worn in mattress. My sleep was horrible. The lumps on the mattress were impossible to ignore and instead of a mint on my pillow in the morning, I was greeted with Pickled Olives.

"I'm sorry lady, that's the best we can do," I was assured by the maid.

Unfortunately, that was pretty much the motto of the Motel. While packing my things to leave, I found many of my shirts had holes in them! I called room service to complain. "How could this have happen?" I demanded to know.

"Oh, those pesky moths are at it again I see," said the unfazed room attendant.

Well, I was glad to get out of there. Sure, it was fine if all you want is a roof over your head, but nothing more. The room service was poor and the food was normally undercooked, the sheets were never washed, and the trash was sitting out back, so when a breeze came in it brought the smell and all the flies in with it. If you are a Neopian of limited means, I suppose this will have to do, but I wouldn't suggest it.

Final Rating: 1.5 (slow service, rare cleaning and occasional smell)


Neolodge: Cheap Hotel
Cost: 20 Neopoints
NeoPet's Rating: 2 stars

Upon my arrival at the Cheap Hotel, I was welcomed by a bellhop who said he would be happy to show me my room. Surprised and relieved, I agreed and he lead me down the dimly light halls to an elevator. As we stepped in, there was a little sway which startled me. "Don't worry about that; we're getting it fixed," he assured me. But not a comfortable feeling with three suitcases weighing about 50 pounds each!

The elevator slowly inched upward until we reached my floor. I tipped the bellhop for his services and let myself into my room. There was no carpet on the floor, just some tile which was sticky and badly in need of repair. My bed was made and there were drawers for me to put my clothes in. This was very encouraging. After unpacking, I threw myself on the bed, ready to relax for the first time in weeks.

However, leaping into the bed proved to be a huge mistake. The bed was made from all wood and a small mattress which did not have much stuffing. My back was sore for days. I soon found it was better go sleep over the sheets. It added some softness to the hard bed. But a hard bed was better than no bed. I called for some room service and ordered myself some grapes. My order came on time, but the grapes were a little old.

I then decided to take a walk down the street outside the hotel. It surely was a Cheap Hotel, but not as bad as some of the cheaper hotels I had been staying at. The Cheap Hotel at least had an elevator, although creaky and slow. And they had room service. It was slow but at least I did get what I ordered. The area around the hotel was not appealing, but what I had expected.

The roads were dusty and seemed to go on forever, but there were some local shops where I was able to pick up some souvenirs. The locals seemed distant and uninterested in talking to a reporter, so I headed back to my Hotel. When I got back I saw my bed was made, but the sticky goop still on the floor and most of the trash had not been picked up. But a made bed was better than nothing. On my pillow there was a piece of Cheese. It wasn't exactly a mint, but seemed eatable.

When it was time for me to leave, I packed my things and headed out. This wasn't exactly the type of Hotel I would keep my NeoPets in, but it's affordable and had the very bare necessities.

Final Rating: 2 (slow elevator, poor maid service and unsatisfactory quality food)


Neolodge: Mountain Lodge
Cost: 30 Neopoints per night
NeoPet's Rating: 3 stars

My trip up the mountain to stay at the Mountain Lodge was a nice view, but when I reached the top I was tired and in need of rest. For 30 Neopoints a night, I expected to get my Neopoints worth in services and accommodations. When I entered the Lodge, there was a lobby where other NeoPets were sitting, chatting about this and that. I was greeted by the bellhop who took my things and we took the elevator up to my room.

When arriving at my room, there was a small window where I could see the snow falling. It was very nice. The room was a little chilly however. I asked the room attendant to hurt up the heating, but he said they didn't have one! I unpacked, and put on an extra sweater and curled up in bed. The bed was made and had a thick comforter so the nights weren't as cold. But each morning I woke up to a chilly breeze. The only heat in the hotel was from the fire which was located in the lobby.

Being such a cold hotel, everyone was fighting for a spot in front of the fire to keep warm. I decided, being the small Kacheek that I am, I could never push my way to the front, so I went for a little jog instead. The snow had been heavy the night before, so there wasn't much place to jog. When I was done I went back to my room for a hot shower only to find there was limited hot water in the hotel and it was all used up! So I had to settle for a slightly chilly shower.

I ordered some coffee from room service to warm me up and when it arrived, I was so pleased. The coffee was warm and the room service was right on time. However, the hot coffee only offered temporary relief to the chill of the room. There had to be something I could do to make it warmer. So I added another sweater, settled in my bed and ordered anther coffee.

At the end of the week, I had learned to get up early to take a hot shower, and if I wanted to get some heat, I had to steak my claim for the spot in front of the fire early in the morning. And even then it was hard to push my way in. While the accommodations were nice, I would have liked to see a hot tub or a heater! But the room service was right on time and the food was warm, so it did provide some comfort.

Final Rating: 3 (good service, good room accommodations, but needs heating)


Check out next week's issue for Part Two of this three part series.

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