During my first week or so on NeoPets, I obtained a Strawberry and Cream Fish
Pop from the Igloo Garage Sale. Like the ignorant Newbie I was, I thought it
would make a nice treat for my young Bruce. After all, Bruces are like penguins,
and penguins love fish, right? In my eagerness to feed my pet, I failed to notice
the words "Gross Food" on the window that opened up when I clicked on it.
Imagine my shock when after I gave it to her, she ate it, gave a moan of disgust
and slumped into a heap! I thought, "What is going on here? Why didn't she like
it?'
Once I'd found out about Gross Food, I sought to learn the answers to the
following questions:
1. Why does Gross Food exist?
What function does it serve, other than to make your pets less hungry by nauseating
them? As far as I can tell, feeding your NeoPet a Gross Food does not change
its mood; a delighted pet will still be delighted after downing a bowl of Pasta
and Eyes. Of course, if your pets weren't that happy to begin with, it won't
make them any happier, either. Unlike the Rotten Omelette (Tyrannian Food),
it won't cause your pet to come down with a horrible disease, though you'd think
that forcing your poor pet to swallow that lump of Chewing Dung would be enough
to give it food poisoning.
To be sure, most Gross Foods are cheap--many can be obtained for a single
Neopoint according to the Shop Wizard. Such items are often found hanging on
the Money Tree. If you want to keep your pets from starving, but don't care
whether they enjoy what they're eating, then Gross Foods are the cheapest foods
around, after the free Omelette. It would be kinder, though, to give them the
equally-cheap Tombola foods.
So why does Gross Food exist, after all? Is it merely a joke to amuse
cruel owners who like to see their pet's expression of misery after it trustingly
accepts that jar of Pickled Leeches for its dinner? Who invented Gross Food
anyway? Dr. Sloth? Dr. Death? Dr. Backwash? The mystery is yet to be solved.
2. Where does Gross Food come from?
It is the only type of food that is not associated with a particular part of
Neopia. You can obtain it by a random event, by winning(?) at Tombola, or finding
it for sale at the Igloo Garage Sale. But the question remains: where did Mika
and Carassa and the Tiki Tack Man get it all?
Neopia, of course, is still being explored--heck, we've only seen one side
of it so far. Who knows what kinds of lands lie on its hidden hemisphere? A
Gross World? Disgusting Island? The mind boggles.
3. Why do NeoPets even accept Gross Food?
Many pets flat-out refuse to eat certain foods that are not gross, (my Bruce,
for example, won't eat some Desert Foods even if she's starving). Yet these
picky eaters will usually eat a Gross Food when prompted, even though they regret
it afterwards. Why do they do it?
Just for fun, the following is a list of certain types of NeoPets, and the
Gross Foods that logically they should enjoy (even though they really
don't):
As stated earlier, Bruces (and Tuskaninnys) should love all flavours of Fish
Pops, plus any other Gross Food with seafood in it, such as the Sugar Frosted
Fish Cake or the Salmon Fishwich. This should also apply to Aishas, Wockys,
and possibly Kougras as well, for what sort of cat doesn't love a fishy treat?
And why shouldn't an Elephante drool at the thought of a Peanut Butter Pizza?
Or a Mynci, for that matter?
Pteris should relish a nice Worm Nugget or a juicy Hot Worm and Ketchup. After
all, they are birds! And speaking of birds, Lennys look like the type of avian
that would enjoy a fresh Snail Sub. And remember, the early Pteri gets the Infested
Peaches. "Hello worm! You're just in time for breakfast!"
Lupes and Gelerts should sit up and beg for a Red Sausage or a Crunchy Bone
Sandwich. Think about it.
Nimmos and Quiggles ought to go into ecstasies over such frog-pleasers as
the Fantastic Fly Pie, the Lice Rice and the Blueberry Beetle Cracker. Give
one of them an Ant-Eaten Ham, and you would expect it to eat the ants and throw
away the ham!
For vegetarian NeoPets such as Unis and Cybunnies, a Peaburger Delight should
actually be a delight. For dessert, one would think they would crave
a sweet Strawberry Artichoke.
As for the rest of the Gross Food menu--why shouldn't the Skeiths (who will
cheerfully devour Bottles of Sand, Piles of Sludge and Yellow Snowballs, among
other things) find it all simply delicious?
They should--but they don't. Gross Food is gross food, even though some of
it sounds less gross than certain other types of food. Would you rather eat
a plate of Intestines and Marinara (Spooky Food) or have a slice of Chip Butty
Pizza? Personally, I'd prefer a Bluehamberry Burger over a Cheesy Cod and Tofu
Burger (Tropical Food) any day. Bon Appetite! | 
