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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 22nd day of Swimming, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 30 > Short Stories > The Noodles and the Gods of Asparagus

The Noodles and the Gods of Asparagus

by yaboofernoodle

When we got back from our L337 incident and restored biteme391's house, it became clear that we were all quite bored. No exciting events were coming up, we were fully prepared for NeoHome Gardens, we had no concerts booked for a while, and I couldn't adopt a Tonu, so our lives were unfortunately losing their spark. I finished cooking dinner with KoochieNoobus one night when she threw out an interesting question.

"Mum?" KoochieNoobus said. "There's something I've been wondering… something I couldn't learn in books."

I dropped my stirring spoon and looked at her. "What is that, sweetie?"

The curious Shoyru stared at the ceiling for a minute and said, "If NeoPets come from Eggs, then where does Asparagus come from?"

Puzzled, I gazed about hoping to think up an answer, and fast! "Um… the Asparagus Gods, sweetie!"

This was a complete lie, and I knew it. It was like saying "Babies come from Storks" or "The Easter Bunny delivers eggs to each house every year" and I had made up a lie that was just as cheesy. She believed it, however, so I guess it was worth it.

The next morning, all of the Noodles ran down the stairs where I was drinking some fresh brewed Tigersquash Tea.

"Mum! Mum! Look what we found!" KoochieNoobus stepped in front of the rest of my pets said. "We were visited by the Gods of Asparagus overnight!"

I laughed and told her the truth. "Honey, that's a lie. I made it up. There are NO Asparagus Gods."

Everyone held up their instruments.

"Look at these and THEN say there are no Asparagus Gods," she repeated.

Number Nimmo's drumsticks were replaced by asparagus, Firey_Sac's guitar pick was made of asparagus, Bhuhbuh's microphone was replaced with a stalk of asparagus, and KoochieNoobus's synthesiser stand poles and violin were both made of…yep, you guessed it--asparagus.

I gasped as Bhuhbuh held up the final instrument. "This is your flute. You must have been sound asleep when they invaded your room." I looked at what he grasped and nearly fell flat. It was my flute, only it was changed into a piece for asparagus with some holes drilled into it. "This MUST stop here…" I said, and with that we all marched back upstairs to prepare for the day ahead.

***

Ah yes, life on the open road… or should I say, cloud. We were traveling across the unknown clouds of Faerieland, where the Gods of Asparagus were most likely living.

"Wait up, you guys!" Bhuhbuh cried out.

Number Nimmo, Firey_Sac, and Bhuhbuh were all hauling a huge object, covered with a big tarp.

"We're falling behind!" I sighed and looked through my pack at all my tools.

Ah, there it was! I passed a small ring to KoochieNoobus. She put it on (surprisingly, because Shoyrus don't have visible fingers) and clicked a button on the side. The Big object went gliding through the air and was being carried by a big tractor beam from the ring. Firey_Sac looked stunned, but continued on anyway. Our guess was right, and very soon we stopped walking on cloud and started walking on the solid ground of a building.

"It's the Asparagus Temple…" Number Nimmo gasped.

"WELCOME!" a strange voice boomed, sending everyone to the floor.

"I SEE YOU HAVE MADE YOUR WAY HERE AT LAST, MEDDLING NEOPETS."

Firey_Sac stood up. "And don't forget our pal…" I leaped up and for some odd reason (perhaps because it seemed to fit the current dialogue) I yelled "Scooby-dooby-doo!" remembering those strange TV shows I keep watching. The source of the voice appeared at once. "BEHOLD! THE GODS OF ASPARAGUS!"

Two asparagus were standing in front of us.

"Oh, puh-lease!" KoochieNoobus sighed. "I can see the zipper!"

She walked around behind the asparagus and pointed out that they were just costumes. After unzipping them, we all entered a state of shock.

"Adam and Donna?!"

I couldn't believe what I was seeing! It seemed like Adam and Donna were the actual Asparagus Gods. How could this be? Before any of us had time to figure it out, Adam snapped his fingers.

"Go, minions!"

All of a sudden, billions of types of Asparagus were pouring out of the temple! Asparagus Sundaes, Asparagus Soup, Asparagus Ice Cream, Asparagus Pizza, even Asparagus Slushies all began to attack!

"Time for the secret weapon…" I heard all my male pets say.

I looked behind me towards their direction and they ripped the tarp off of the object they were carrying. Underneath, there was a large cooking pot.

"We used the Zappo-ray in your lab that makes things bigger on your Asparagus Cooking Pot, mum," Number Nimmo said and yanked the lid off the pot.

Each asparagus food screeched to a halt and retreated, screaming.

"Noooo! Come back, minions! It took forever for Donna to think you up!" Adam pathetically cried out.

Donna tapped him on the shoulder. "Um, Adam… I think we should go now. These asparagus suits are a little warm." She hauled Adam back into the Asparagus Temple, never to be seen wearing Asparagus again.

The End

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