You probably think that The Neopian Times is just another newspaper, right?
Wrong! The Neopian Times has a history hidden in secrecy and, well, okay, there
isn't much secrecy--it's just that not every Neopian knows the history. I can
The Neopian Times was originally founded in Y 1 by a Jetsam named Rupert Henderson.
His line of family was one of piracy, and when his father died he took over
the smuggling vessel 'Asparagus', which smuggled Chocolate Chias from their
hidden factory in Maraqua to shops all over Neopia!
But in the same year Chocolate Chias were made legal by the current king,
King Borovan the 204th. Bigger and better ships that the 'Asparagus' were shipping
Chocolate Chias now, and Henderson was out of work. But Rupert had a stroke
of genius--maybe if he manages to spread rumours about items, they would be
banned, and the 'Asparagus' would have work! So that is exactly what The Neopian
Times originally was: a rumour spreader!
Of course, the plan backfired; Henderson was immediately charged with sabotage.
In a last ditch effort to get some NP, Henderson sold The Neopian Times to a
Kau named Yule Underwoods.
Yule was a mountaineer who magically discovered oil on his property and made
a fortune selling it, not unlike Ned Frampett of the Neopian Hillbillies. Yule
hired the finest writers and analysts to staff The Neopian Times.
In Y 2 Yule's Neopian Times opened up, and was an instant hit! People liked
how they always presented both sides of the story, instead of the other newspapers
of the time who gave readers biased opinions. Everyone loved it except for the
other newspapers and King Borovan.
King Borovan wanted no one to show the Neopians how cruel and ruthless he
really was. When The Neopian Times published an article headlined, "King Snubs
Poor Merchant", King Borovan arrested everyone on The Neopian Times Staff and
put them in jail without a trial.
But that one article was enough--revolting people sprang up all over Neopia.
One group, though, seemed to be able to overpower the King's army, The Hawks,
led by the famous general, Ralph Phasti. To make a long story short, The Hawks
took over Neopia and turned it into a Republic. Of course, that war lasted from
Y 2 to Y 4.
All those long years, the entire staff lived in jail, and when they were freed,
they all set back to The Neopian Times. The majority of the paper is now comprised
of articles sent in by citizens of Neopia, such as the one I am composing right
Oh, and remember Yule? Well, he retired soon after Neopia was freed, and right
now The Neopian Times is run on government funds. No other newspapers have even
tried to compete with The Neopian Times in four years--it is just as well to
send in your article to The Neopian Times, there is a bigger chance of people
Well, I hope this has shed some light on the history of The Neopian Times.
*Warning: This is not real. I am just hopelessly addicted to Neopets and I
am making a history for it.
**No, it's real! Really! Go ask your grandparents if they remember Yule and
***No, really, this isn't real. It is just the French Revolution except several
hundred years later and with silly little pets instead of soldiers.
****That other guy is nuts.
*****Hello, we're the same person, stupid.
******Hey, don't insult yourself like that!
*******My head hurts.