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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 15th day of Sleeping, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 28 > Short Stories > Warpaw and Peacepaw

Warpaw and Peacepaw

by al_the_chia

Warpaw smiled as he held up his huge sword. It was flaming red, and shone with an unearthly light. Warpaw's fur was redder than the hottest fire, and his eyes were flaming with the light of war. He wore heavy bronze armour and carried a wide variety of weapons. He could wrestle with Balthazar and have a good chance of winning. He smashed Punchbag Bob, flattened all the Faeries, the Pant Devil, the Fire Meerca, he even fought in both the Tyrannian and Sakhmetian war, winning the highest honours in both ones. But Warpaw was restless. There hadn't been a war for months, and he really wanted to get out there and fight….

Peacepaw smiled as he held up a daisy. It was a light white, and smelled like a thousand fresh rains and springtimes. His fur was a light, powder blue, and his eyes were staring up at the sky, distracted by the clouds. He wore light brown clothes and a headband, and carried a wide variety of musical instruments. He had protested the Faerie Catching of Balthazar, he protected Punchbag Bob, he was honoured by the Faeries, he was frequently visited by the Pant Devil, and he was right in the middle of the fighting during both the great wars, holding a picket sign and singing. Peacepaw was content. There hadn't been a war in months, so no one would have to go out there and fight…

Dawn in Lupe Forest…

"Oh, if I were unhappy, I'd be happy again, because I live with happy people who are all my happy friends…"

Peacepaw strummed a guitar and sang his theme song as he walked down the road. His bushy Lupe tail flowed behind him as several Pink Miamice danced around him. "Oh, if I were unhappy, I'd be happy again, because I live with happy people who are all my happy friends…" He sang again, strumming his guitar. A rainbow formed behind him and several birds landed on his shoulder. It was enough to make Snow White hurl. "Life is oh so happy, and I love it too, I love smelling flowers and… and…" He paused. "and… er… uh…." He took out a notebook and looked at his music. "Hm… I need something that, like, rhymes with too…" He sat down on a stump, thinking. "Hmm… too… you… new… AH!" He struck a chord on his guitar. "And I hope you catch the flu!… wait, that's not, like, right… And the Kaus go moo?… Hmm… This may, like, take a while…."

Warpaw sliced his sword through the air. It was silent for a fleeting second. Suddenly, the tree he was standing in front of toppled over. Warpaw sighed, hacking down all the trees in his path. "Bored, bored bored. I am very, very bored." WHIZ! THUD!! WHIZ! THUD!! Soon, he had cut a brand new path through the forest, leading to a small clearing which Warpaw had found. "HM…" He looked around, smiling. "Yep, this will make a nice encampment for a while…"

Peacepaw walked down a newly discovered path, his guitar strapped to his back. "Great, I've written, like, eight new songs with nothing but the words 'Peace' and 'Love.' This has been, like, the best day, like, ever!" he said to a following Miamouse. That's when he tripped over the snoring Warpaw.

Warpaw jumped up with a jolt, bolting upright and immediately pouncing upon Peacepaw, his eyes still closed. "AHA!!! PREPARE TO DIE, FUFON LUI!!"

"AIEEEEE!!" Peacepaw fled in circles as Warpaw pursued. "YOUR DAYS OF LUPE DESTROYING IS OVER, FUFON!! I MOCK YOUR SILLY NAME!!" WHOCK!! With a swish of a sword, a tree nearby Peacepaw's head fell over on top of him. THUD! "MMMPPH!!" Suddenly, Warpaw woke up from his sleep-warring. "What the…" He looked around, confused. "What a weird dream…. Eh, oh well." He slung his sword back over his back and prepared to leave, stepping on the log Peacepaw was crushed under. Peacepaw squeaked in agony, catching Warpaw's attention. "Wha? Who the…" Warpaw kicked the log over to reveal a somewhat flatter Peacepaw. Warpaw jumped in recognition. "Well, well, well, who have we here? It's my wimpy little baby brother, Peacepaw."

Peacepaw peeled himself off the floor, checking the damage on his smashed guitar. "And if it isn't my nark of a brother, Warpaw…"

Warpaw chuckled. "Still the biggest wimp in Lupe Forest, I see, if not wimpiest in the world."

Peacepaw closed his eyes. "Okay… count to ten and stay calm… one… two… three…"

Warpaw whacked him on the back before he could reach four, sending him flying into a prickly bush. "HA!! LOSER!! And you'll always be a loser!!"

Peacepaw burst from the bush, covered in thorns. "I am NOT A LOSER!!"

"Then how come you lost every battle you ever fought?" Warpaw gloated, grinning.

Peacepaw smiled back. "How come YOU flunked Neokindergarten?"

Warpaw glared. "So what if I couldn't memorise the primary colours? What good will that do for my future?"

"Oh plenty good, old brother. Remember that Faerie Lupess, Peachpaw, in High School? The one NOT impressed by your brawn, but my superior knowledge and sensitivity?"

"GRRRAARGH!!" With a roar, Warpaw lunged at Peacepaw, and soon a brotherly brawl began.

Al wandered into Peacepaw's territory, holding a measuring cup. "Peacepaw, would you mind if I borrowed a cup of… WHA?!?" Al cringed as he saw Peacepaw, beaten to a pulp and hanging off of a high branch in a tall tree. Al looked up. "Woah…" Peacepaw was slumped over a thick branch, dazed and confused, his eyes rolling around in his head. "But, like, mum, I can't go to, like, school today, I'm, like, protesting the Tyrannian War…." With a groan, he fell off the branch and landed with a thud onto the ground, face down.

Al looked down at him. "Who beat you up this time? Was it Hollypaw?"


"Did you provoke a Skeith?"


"Pant devil?"

"No…" Al scratched his head.

"Then tell me, what happened?"

"Oh, my brother, Warpaw, dropped by for like, a visit…"

Al frowned. "Huh?" Peacepaw tried to relocate his shoulder, blinking. "He likes to hurt things…"

"Oh…" Al helped Peacepaw get onto his feet. "I see…"

After getting a cup of sugar, Al ran home and picked up the phone. He rang up Stenchpaw, Hollypaw (in a disguised voice), and Whatever. "Listen," he said to each one of them. "Peacepaw is having a problem with a big, ugly Lupe. He needs self defence training. Can you do it?" After setting each one of them up at a different time for training, Al set down the phone, content. "That should help him get back on his paws."

Stenchpaw the Skunk Lupe walked into Peacepaw's territory, carrying two plastic swords and strange looking masks. "Monsieur Peacepaw? Are you home?" He knocked on his bamboo door. It flew open to reveal a bandaged-beyond-recognition Lupe.

"Like… yes?" Stenchpaw recoiled in shock. "SACREBLEU! Al was right!! You look terrible!!" Peacepaw gasped, bringing a paw to his nose "WOAH!!! WHAT, LIKE, REEKS!?" Stenchpaw ignored him, throwing a paw over his shoulder. The added armpit odour made Peacepaw begin to gag. "Listen here, I heard you were having trouble with… how do you say… Sister?"

"GAK…No, it was my…GAK brother, but that's okay…GAK… Could you please, like, put your arm back down or, like, put on some deodorant or something?!?!?" Stenchpaw stood back and thrust a sword at him. "No, I insist that I must teach you the ways of fencing! The ladies love a Lupe who can fence! I should know!…" He sniffed indignantly. "And I think deodorant blocks out my own, wonderful smell, so I do not wear it. Neither do I bathe." Peacepaw's eyes widened in horror as he held his breath.

Peacepaw attached a clothespin to his nose before putting on the wire mask protecting his face. "Dude… I don't know about this…" He observed, looked at the sword in his paw.

Stenchpaw twanged his sword musically, then aimed it at Peacepaw. "You'll be fine, Peacepaw. All right, the first rule of swordplay is Parry, Parry, Thrust, Thrust. Like this…" Stenchpaw whipped his sword around, simulating a parry and a thrust. "Now, you try it."

Peacepaw whirled the sword, and it flew out of his hand, neatly flying into Stenchpaw's nostril.

"AUGH!!" Stenchpaw grabbed his nose.

"WOAH!! Sorry man…"

Stenchpaw smiled painfully, still clutching his damaged snout. "Monsieur, I think you need to have a better grip on your sword, no?" He painfully plucked it out, wiped it off, and handed it back to Peacepaw. "Now, try again. Parry… good… Now parry again… nice… and now thrust!!" WHOCK!! "NO!! YOU DO NOT THRUST UP THE NOSE!!"

"I'm, like, sorry man…"

"Nothing to worry about… nothing at all…"

Hours later…

After several more tries, Peacepaw managed to parry and thrust without jamming his weapon into Stenchpaw's nose. He smiled as he got the hang of it, and soon was fencing like a pro. "COOL!!"

"Yes, monsieur, you have now learned how to fence! When the big brute Lupe… ER… What is his name?"


"Ah, yes. When Warpaw fights you, you now know how to fight back with sword!"

"Cool! I'll never be, like, ridiculed again!!" Stenchpaw smiled. "Now go find your brother, and show him who is the boss!"

"RIGHT!" Peacepaw whipped his sword around one last time, then charged into the forest, a confident smile on his face…

The next morning…

Al knocked on Peacepaw's door. "Peacepaw? How did your encounter with Warpaw go?" Peacepaw walked out, a plastic sword wedged up his nose. "Like, don't ask…"

Later that day…

Hollypaw the Christmas Lupe kicked down Peacepaw's door. "HEY!! WIMPO!! GET OVER HERE!" Peacepaw gasped. "What did I, like, do this time?" Hollypaw beat her paw into her other, snarling. Peacepaw feebly held his paws over his head. "Please, I just got, like, beaten up yesterday…"

"I know, you pathetic loser. That's why I'm here." Peacepaw blinked. "Like, wha?" Hollypaw snatched his paw and dragged him out the door. "Listen, I'm being paid eighteen chocolate Chias to toughen you up, so you'd better be prepared for some hard training…"

Hollypaw stopped Peacepaw in front of her den. "Behold! The Hollypaw exercise system!" Peacepaw blinked. "MAAAAAAAN!!" A veritable army of workout machines stood before him. Pulleys, levers, weights, punching bags, they were all there. Hollypaw frowned bitterly as she snatched Peacepaw and set him down on a running machine. "I've been training to beat up Chias for years, and I've gotten the hang of it very well. A Lupe shouldn't be too different, we just have longer arms and a nose." Hollypaw pushed a couple buttons on the machine. "All right, Wimpola, get running! I want you to run 80 miles in five minutes!! GO!!" Peacepaw began to run, struggling and panting as Hollypaw egged him on. "FASTER!! FASTER YOU LOSER!!"

"Ugh… I… ugh… can't… UUUUUUGGG…" Peacepaw collapsed. Hollypaw checked the machine's recorded time and distance. "Now THAT'S pathetic. Hurry up and get back on, we still have a lot more to do…"

After several hours of rigorous training, Peacepaw was looking a lot better. "Like, dude! I feel great!!" He flexed his pathetic muscles, which looked a little bit less pathetic. "Of course you do! Your on my Exercise program!" Hollypaw whacked him on the back. "Now, how do you feel?"

"I feel like I could whip Warpaw with one paw behind my back!!"

"That's right! Now go get 'im, tiger!!" Peacepaw rolled up his sleeves and ran out. Hollypaw wiped a tear from her eye. "I'm so proud…"

Later that day…

Hollypaw scowled. "YOU LITTLE RUNT!! YOU GOT BEATEN UP AGAIN!??!" Peacepaw limped back into his home, Hollypaw following behind. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" She roared.

Peacepaw sighed and turned around. "Listen, Hollypaw, it was worth a try, but it didn't help. Sorry, but I'm beginning to think I can't do it." He shook his head, slamming the door.

Hollypaw sighed in disgust, throwing her paws down. "What a wimp… Oh well. I still get the chocolate Chias…"

The next morning…

Peacepaw threw open the door as he heard the doorbell ring, holding an ice pack to a black eye. "What's next? The ghost of like, Christmas Past?" He scowled at the blue Acara standing on his doorstep. "Like, what do you want? To help me get beat up by Warpaw again?"

Whatever shook his head. He was wearing a karate outfit, and carrying several shields. Peacepaw blinked. "Oh, you're here to teach me defence?"

Whatever nodded.

"All right then, I guess I could, just like, try it."

Whatever pointed to a large metal shield. Peacepaw picked it up.

"So, like, I have to block every move you make against me?"

Whatever nodded.

"All right man…"

Whatever bowed, then flew into a fury of fist, hitting high, low, and in between. Peacepaw desperately tried to block him, but got beaten up badly and by the time Whatever stopped, he was collapsed on the floor.

"Dude… that stings..." Peacepaw moaned.

Whatever shook his head. "Whatever…"

After several hours of intense concentration, Peacepaw learned how to defend himself, as well as use his opponent's energy against them. He smiled as he charged down the path to Warpaw's territory, in full body armour, carrying Stenchpaw's sword, and looking as fit as a fiddle. "The better I defend, the better I can fight. The better I can fight, the better I can wield my weapons. The better I can wield my weapons, the easier it will be to cream Warpaw!" He stomped his feet and laughed. "Watch out Warpaw! Here I come!!"

The next morning…

Peacepaw sighed as he tried to pull himself out of a pretzel. "I guess it's just no good… I'll never, like, beat up Warpaw… I guess I'm just, like, a failure…" He stared desolately at his guitar. "Ugh, I 'm so unhappy…" He picked it up and plucked a string. "But… if I were unhappy… I 'd be happy again… Because I have all these helpful people that I can call my friends…" Suddenly, a light bulb clicked above his head. "THAT'S IT!!"

Warpaw's Domain…

Warpaw was sharpening his sword, humming happily. "I've beaten that wimp up so many times I can't count it on one paw." Suddenly, the door flew open. In stepped Peacepaw, carrying nothing but a heavy-looking case. Warpaw smiled and got up, his sword glinting in the light. "Well? Come back for more?"

"It ends now, Warpaw." Peacepaw glared at him, and Warpaw glared back. Suddenly, Peacepaw threw open the case and pulled out... his Guitar! He smiled brightly as he raised the guitar up. "I've come to give a peace offering!"

Warpaw recoiled. "What the?"

Peacepaw strummed an off-key chord, and began to sing…

"Oh, If I were unhappy,
I'd be happy again,
Because I live with happy people
Who are all my happy friends."

Warpaw dropped his sword and covered his ears as Peacepaw began to repeat the song. "Ugh... that's horrible..."

Peacepaw continued singing, oblivious to the fact that his brother was suffering.

"That's REALLY horrible... oh no... I can feel my power draining..." Warpaw dropped onto the floor, covering his head. "IT'S JUST SO… SAPPY!!! UGH!! EEEERRK!!!"

But Peacepaw kept on singing. And after repeating the song eight times, Peacepaw finished with a lavish, off key strum of his guitar. "Well, brother, how did you like it? Are we friends?" He was met with silence. "Uh… brother?"

Warpaw was hunched into the corner, shivering and sucking his thumb. "Please… I give up… just don't sing again… you're the better brother, I admit it… just keep that guitar away from me… Too much sappiness… Going to hurl…"

Peacepaw smiled, setting his guitar down. "AWW!! HOW KIND OF YOU TO ADMIT THAT!! YOU'RE THE BEST BROTHER A GUY CAN HAVE!!" He gave Warpaw a big, loving, brotherly hug. "What a happy ending!!"

"AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!" The final blow was struck. The one thing no one can fight against--Love, defeated Warpaw.

The End

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