Warpaw smiled as he held up his huge sword. It was flaming red, and shone with
an unearthly light. Warpaw's fur was redder than the hottest fire, and his eyes
were flaming with the light of war. He wore heavy bronze armour and carried
a wide variety of weapons. He could wrestle with Balthazar and have a good chance
of winning. He smashed Punchbag Bob, flattened all the Faeries, the Pant Devil,
the Fire Meerca, he even fought in both the Tyrannian and Sakhmetian war, winning
the highest honours in both ones. But Warpaw was restless. There hadn't been
a war for months, and he really wanted to get out there and fight….
Peacepaw smiled as he held up a daisy. It was a light white, and smelled like
a thousand fresh rains and springtimes. His fur was a light, powder blue, and
his eyes were staring up at the sky, distracted by the clouds. He wore light
brown clothes and a headband, and carried a wide variety of musical instruments.
He had protested the Faerie Catching of Balthazar, he protected Punchbag Bob,
he was honoured by the Faeries, he was frequently visited by the Pant Devil,
and he was right in the middle of the fighting during both the great wars, holding
a picket sign and singing. Peacepaw was content. There hadn't been a war in
months, so no one would have to go out there and fight…
Dawn in Lupe Forest…
"Oh, if I were unhappy, I'd be happy again, because I live with happy people
who are all my happy friends…"
Peacepaw strummed a guitar and sang his theme song as he walked down the road.
His bushy Lupe tail flowed behind him as several Pink Miamice danced around
him. "Oh, if I were unhappy, I'd be happy again, because I live with happy people
who are all my happy friends…" He sang again, strumming his guitar. A rainbow
formed behind him and several birds landed on his shoulder. It was enough to
make Snow White hurl. "Life is oh so happy, and I love it too, I love smelling
flowers and… and…" He paused. "and… er… uh…." He took out a notebook and looked
at his music. "Hm… I need something that, like, rhymes with too…" He sat down
on a stump, thinking. "Hmm… too… you… new… AH!" He struck a chord on his guitar.
"And I hope you catch the flu!… wait, that's not, like, right… And the Kaus
go moo?… Hmm… This may, like, take a while…."
Warpaw sliced his sword through the air. It was silent for a fleeting second.
Suddenly, the tree he was standing in front of toppled over. Warpaw sighed,
hacking down all the trees in his path. "Bored, bored bored. I am very, very
bored." WHIZ! THUD!! WHIZ! THUD!! Soon, he had cut a brand new path through
the forest, leading to a small clearing which Warpaw had found. "HM…" He looked
around, smiling. "Yep, this will make a nice encampment for a while…"
Peacepaw walked down a newly discovered path, his guitar strapped to his back.
"Great, I've written, like, eight new songs with nothing but the words 'Peace'
and 'Love.' This has been, like, the best day, like, ever!" he said to a following
Miamouse. That's when he tripped over the snoring Warpaw.
Warpaw jumped up with a jolt, bolting upright and immediately pouncing upon
Peacepaw, his eyes still closed. "AHA!!! PREPARE TO DIE, FUFON LUI!!"
"AIEEEEE!!" Peacepaw fled in circles as Warpaw pursued. "YOUR DAYS OF LUPE
DESTROYING IS OVER, FUFON!! I MOCK YOUR SILLY NAME!!" WHOCK!! With a swish of
a sword, a tree nearby Peacepaw's head fell over on top of him. THUD! "MMMPPH!!"
Suddenly, Warpaw woke up from his sleep-warring. "What the…" He looked around,
confused. "What a weird dream…. Eh, oh well." He slung his sword back over his
back and prepared to leave, stepping on the log Peacepaw was crushed under.
Peacepaw squeaked in agony, catching Warpaw's attention. "Wha? Who the…" Warpaw
kicked the log over to reveal a somewhat flatter Peacepaw. Warpaw jumped in
recognition. "Well, well, well, who have we here? It's my wimpy little baby
Peacepaw peeled himself off the floor, checking the damage on his smashed
guitar. "And if it isn't my nark of a brother, Warpaw…"
Warpaw chuckled. "Still the biggest wimp in Lupe Forest, I see, if not wimpiest
in the world."
Peacepaw closed his eyes. "Okay… count to ten and stay calm… one… two… three…"
Warpaw whacked him on the back before he could reach four, sending him flying
into a prickly bush. "HA!! LOSER!! And you'll always be a loser!!"
Peacepaw burst from the bush, covered in thorns. "I am NOT A LOSER!!"
"Then how come you lost every battle you ever fought?" Warpaw gloated, grinning.
Peacepaw smiled back. "How come YOU flunked Neokindergarten?"
Warpaw glared. "So what if I couldn't memorise the primary colours? What good
will that do for my future?"
"Oh plenty good, old brother. Remember that Faerie Lupess, Peachpaw, in High
School? The one NOT impressed by your brawn, but my superior knowledge and sensitivity?"
"GRRRAARGH!!" With a roar, Warpaw lunged at Peacepaw, and soon a brotherly
Al wandered into Peacepaw's territory, holding a measuring cup. "Peacepaw,
would you mind if I borrowed a cup of… WHA?!?" Al cringed as he saw Peacepaw,
beaten to a pulp and hanging off of a high branch in a tall tree. Al looked
up. "Woah…" Peacepaw was slumped over a thick branch, dazed and confused, his
eyes rolling around in his head. "But, like, mum, I can't go to, like, school
today, I'm, like, protesting the Tyrannian War…." With a groan, he fell off
the branch and landed with a thud onto the ground, face down.
Al looked down at him. "Who beat you up this time? Was it Hollypaw?"
"Did you provoke a Skeith?"
"No…" Al scratched his head.
"Then tell me, what happened?"
"Oh, my brother, Warpaw, dropped by for like, a visit…"
Al frowned. "Huh?" Peacepaw tried to relocate his shoulder, blinking. "He likes
to hurt things…"
"Oh…" Al helped Peacepaw get onto his feet. "I see…"
After getting a cup of sugar, Al ran home and picked up the phone. He rang
up Stenchpaw, Hollypaw (in a disguised voice), and Whatever. "Listen," he said
to each one of them. "Peacepaw is having a problem with a big, ugly Lupe. He
needs self defence training. Can you do it?" After setting each one of them
up at a different time for training, Al set down the phone, content. "That should
help him get back on his paws."
Stenchpaw the Skunk Lupe walked into Peacepaw's territory, carrying two plastic
swords and strange looking masks. "Monsieur Peacepaw? Are you home?" He knocked
on his bamboo door. It flew open to reveal a bandaged-beyond-recognition Lupe.
"Like… yes?" Stenchpaw recoiled in shock. "SACREBLEU! Al was right!! You look
terrible!!" Peacepaw gasped, bringing a paw to his nose "WOAH!!! WHAT, LIKE,
REEKS!?" Stenchpaw ignored him, throwing a paw over his shoulder. The added
armpit odour made Peacepaw begin to gag. "Listen here, I heard you were having
trouble with… how do you say… Sister?"
"GAK…No, it was my…GAK brother, but that's okay…GAK… Could you please, like,
put your arm back down or, like, put on some deodorant or something?!?!?" Stenchpaw
stood back and thrust a sword at him. "No, I insist that I must teach you the
ways of fencing! The ladies love a Lupe who can fence! I should know!…" He sniffed
indignantly. "And I think deodorant blocks out my own, wonderful smell, so I
do not wear it. Neither do I bathe." Peacepaw's eyes widened in horror as he
held his breath.
Peacepaw attached a clothespin to his nose before putting on the wire mask
protecting his face. "Dude… I don't know about this…" He observed, looked at
the sword in his paw.
Stenchpaw twanged his sword musically, then aimed it at Peacepaw. "You'll be
fine, Peacepaw. All right, the first rule of swordplay is Parry, Parry, Thrust,
Thrust. Like this…" Stenchpaw whipped his sword around, simulating a parry and
a thrust. "Now, you try it."
Peacepaw whirled the sword, and it flew out of his hand, neatly flying into
"AUGH!!" Stenchpaw grabbed his nose.
"WOAH!! Sorry man…"
Stenchpaw smiled painfully, still clutching his damaged snout. "Monsieur, I
think you need to have a better grip on your sword, no?" He painfully plucked
it out, wiped it off, and handed it back to Peacepaw. "Now, try again. Parry…
good… Now parry again… nice… and now thrust!!" WHOCK!! "NO!! YOU DO NOT
THRUST UP THE NOSE!!"
"I'm, like, sorry man…"
"Nothing to worry about… nothing at all…"
After several more tries, Peacepaw managed to parry and thrust without jamming
his weapon into Stenchpaw's nose. He smiled as he got the hang of it, and soon
was fencing like a pro. "COOL!!"
"Yes, monsieur, you have now learned how to fence! When the big brute Lupe…
ER… What is his name?"
"Ah, yes. When Warpaw fights you, you now know how to fight back with sword!"
"Cool! I'll never be, like, ridiculed again!!" Stenchpaw smiled. "Now go find
your brother, and show him who is the boss!"
"RIGHT!" Peacepaw whipped his sword around one last time, then charged into
the forest, a confident smile on his face…
The next morning…
Al knocked on Peacepaw's door. "Peacepaw? How did your encounter with Warpaw
go?" Peacepaw walked out, a plastic sword wedged up his nose. "Like, don't ask…"
Later that day…
Hollypaw the Christmas Lupe kicked down Peacepaw's door. "HEY!! WIMPO!! GET
OVER HERE!" Peacepaw gasped. "What did I, like, do this time?" Hollypaw beat
her paw into her other, snarling. Peacepaw feebly held his paws over his head.
"Please, I just got, like, beaten up yesterday…"
"I know, you pathetic loser. That's why I'm here." Peacepaw blinked. "Like,
wha?" Hollypaw snatched his paw and dragged him out the door. "Listen, I'm being
paid eighteen chocolate Chias to toughen you up, so you'd better be prepared
for some hard training…"
Hollypaw stopped Peacepaw in front of her den. "Behold! The Hollypaw exercise
system!" Peacepaw blinked. "MAAAAAAAN!!" A veritable army of workout machines
stood before him. Pulleys, levers, weights, punching bags, they were all there.
Hollypaw frowned bitterly as she snatched Peacepaw and set him down on a running
machine. "I've been training to beat up Chias for years, and I've gotten the
hang of it very well. A Lupe shouldn't be too different, we just have longer
arms and a nose." Hollypaw pushed a couple buttons on the machine. "All right,
Wimpola, get running! I want you to run 80 miles in five minutes!! GO!!" Peacepaw
began to run, struggling and panting as Hollypaw egged him on. "FASTER!! FASTER
"Ugh… I… ugh… can't… UUUUUUGGG…" Peacepaw collapsed. Hollypaw checked the
machine's recorded time and distance. "Now THAT'S pathetic. Hurry up and get
back on, we still have a lot more to do…"
After several hours of rigorous training, Peacepaw was looking a lot better.
"Like, dude! I feel great!!" He flexed his pathetic muscles, which looked a
little bit less pathetic. "Of course you do! Your on my Exercise program!" Hollypaw
whacked him on the back. "Now, how do you feel?"
"I feel like I could whip Warpaw with one paw behind my back!!"
"That's right! Now go get 'im, tiger!!" Peacepaw rolled up his sleeves and
ran out. Hollypaw wiped a tear from her eye. "I'm so proud…"
Later that day…
Hollypaw scowled. "YOU LITTLE RUNT!! YOU GOT BEATEN UP AGAIN!??!" Peacepaw
limped back into his home, Hollypaw following behind. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"
Peacepaw sighed and turned around. "Listen, Hollypaw, it was worth a try, but
it didn't help. Sorry, but I'm beginning to think I can't do it." He shook his
head, slamming the door.
Hollypaw sighed in disgust, throwing her paws down. "What a wimp… Oh well.
I still get the chocolate Chias…"
The next morning…
Peacepaw threw open the door as he heard the doorbell ring, holding an ice
pack to a black eye. "What's next? The ghost of like, Christmas Past?" He scowled
at the blue Acara standing on his doorstep. "Like, what do you want? To help
me get beat up by Warpaw again?"
Whatever shook his head. He was wearing a karate outfit, and carrying several
shields. Peacepaw blinked. "Oh, you're here to teach me defence?"
"All right then, I guess I could, just like, try it."
Whatever pointed to a large metal shield. Peacepaw picked it up.
"So, like, I have to block every move you make against me?"
"All right man…"
Whatever bowed, then flew into a fury of fist, hitting high, low, and in between.
Peacepaw desperately tried to block him, but got beaten up badly and by the
time Whatever stopped, he was collapsed on the floor.
"Dude… that stings..." Peacepaw moaned.
Whatever shook his head. "Whatever…"
After several hours of intense concentration, Peacepaw learned how to defend
himself, as well as use his opponent's energy against them. He smiled as he
charged down the path to Warpaw's territory, in full body armour, carrying Stenchpaw's
sword, and looking as fit as a fiddle. "The better I defend, the better I can
fight. The better I can fight, the better I can wield my weapons. The better
I can wield my weapons, the easier it will be to cream Warpaw!" He stomped his
feet and laughed. "Watch out Warpaw! Here I come!!"
The next morning…
Peacepaw sighed as he tried to pull himself out of a pretzel. "I guess it's
just no good… I'll never, like, beat up Warpaw… I guess I'm just, like, a failure…"
He stared desolately at his guitar. "Ugh, I 'm so unhappy…" He picked it up
and plucked a string. "But… if I were unhappy… I 'd be happy again… Because
I have all these helpful people that I can call my friends…" Suddenly, a light
bulb clicked above his head. "THAT'S IT!!"
Warpaw was sharpening his sword, humming happily. "I've beaten that wimp up
so many times I can't count it on one paw." Suddenly, the door flew open. In
stepped Peacepaw, carrying nothing but a heavy-looking case. Warpaw smiled and
got up, his sword glinting in the light. "Well? Come back for more?"
"It ends now, Warpaw." Peacepaw glared at him, and Warpaw glared back. Suddenly,
Peacepaw threw open the case and pulled out... his Guitar! He smiled brightly
as he raised the guitar up. "I've come to give a peace offering!"
Warpaw recoiled. "What the?"
Peacepaw strummed an off-key chord, and began to sing…
"Oh, If I were unhappy,
I'd be happy again,
Because I live with happy people
Who are all my happy friends."
Warpaw dropped his sword and covered his ears as Peacepaw began to repeat the
song. "Ugh... that's horrible..."
Peacepaw continued singing, oblivious to the fact that his brother was suffering.
"That's REALLY horrible... oh no... I can feel my power draining..." Warpaw
dropped onto the floor, covering his head. "IT'S JUST SO… SAPPY!!! UGH!! EEEERRK!!!"
But Peacepaw kept on singing. And after repeating the song eight times, Peacepaw
finished with a lavish, off key strum of his guitar. "Well, brother, how did
you like it? Are we friends?" He was met with silence. "Uh… brother?"
Warpaw was hunched into the corner, shivering and sucking his thumb. "Please…
I give up… just don't sing again… you're the better brother, I admit it… just
keep that guitar away from me… Too much sappiness… Going to hurl…"
Peacepaw smiled, setting his guitar down. "AWW!! HOW KIND OF YOU TO ADMIT THAT!!
YOU'RE THE BEST BROTHER A GUY CAN HAVE!!" He gave Warpaw a big, loving, brotherly
hug. "What a happy ending!!"
"AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!" The final blow was struck. The one thing no one can fight
against--Love, defeated Warpaw.