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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 28th day of Running, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 23 > Articles > Shhh... I'm Playing NeoPets

Shhh... I'm Playing NeoPets

by ormsqueak

How to prevent others from knowing you are on NeoPets (when they enter the room)

INTRODUCTION
Now this article will be irrelevant to those adult players on NeoPets (unless of course you're playing it on an office computer or similar, and even if you're not you might like to read it anyway... oh, go on, read it. Some bits are funny... really they are), and the article is mainly aimed at younger players whose parents don't like them to be on the Internet all the time. If your parents are lenient, then these little tips can be ignored. However, for those of us whose parent's oppressive an anti-NeoPets regime (well, maybe not that bad), meaning that they cannot use the Internet as often as they like, these little gems (well, maybe not quite gems) these little bits of scuzzy glass that, when polished, might look like gems, of information, might possibly prove of some use to you. Maybe.

First, some general tips...


It is advisable to practise listening for people coming up the stairs or across the landing/hallway/next room so that you can utilise one of the following before the person comes into the room. Turning the computer off after they walk in the door is hardly convincing. Also, use a keyboard that does not clack too much, so that people cannot hear you typing those letters which come almost on autopilot when you open the browser - www.neopets.com, of course - or your angry hammering at the keyboard during a particularly passionate debate in the NeoPets chat forums regarding whether or not Lupes eating Chias is wrong. Of course, this is fine if you're supposed to be typing, for example, an essay on Of Mice And Men, in which case a lack of typing is more concerning to those lovely people who bought you into the world so you could play NeoPets.

THE METHODS:

1. Hiding The Window

This only works on Macintosh. Open a Microsoft Word, Appleworks or Clarisworks file and pretend to do your homework or similar. These programmes all have a little bar at the top with which you can hide a collapsed browser window. Alternatively, you can open a Simpletext window (many of my mad poems are written whilst pretending not to be on the Internet when my mother walks in), make it as big as possible, and hide the browser behind it. Sadly these methods do not work on Windows due to the bar at the bottom with all the open windows on it, and this is not any good if others in your house keep picking up the phone. Stupid people, they just need to try and get a new job, can't they see how essential it is that you defeat the Snowager in the Battledome?

2. Allowed To Use The Internet (I'm studying Mum... really I am)
Have a different browser window with the Web site you're supposed to be on. Very simple. Hide your NeoPets browser window behind it (this should really be above, but what the hey). Simply going to a different Web site is no good, you never know how long it might take, when the parent/snitchy sibling enters they may observe the telltale yellow bar...

3. The More Expensive Options
Have a separate phone line for Internet access, and your own computer. This way NOBODY NEED KNOW AT ALL!! Muahahahahahahah... Unfortuanately I can't afford this. Woe is me.

4. The Really Obvious Method
Anyone should be able to figure this. Just close the browser window when you hear them coming. Easy.

5. Physical Blocking

This is slightly obvious and should only be used by the next-to-desperate (for the really desperate, see below). Hold a magazine or large book in front of the computer screen, or stand in front of it. This can lead to questions like "If you have a magazine to read, why are you on the computer?" and other questions like that, so it is not the best of options, but it could work once and a while.

6. The Really Desperate Method
If you have a computer on, and the plug at the wall is close at hand, on hearing someone come near the room you can reach down and flick the computer off completely. This will disconnect the Internet connection as well as removing the evidence. This is only recommended as a last resort and if your computer is not prone to crashing. After this, it is always advisable to turn the computer on again, because on many computers, after an incorrect shut down, an image of what was on the screen when you turned it off will flicker for a moment (but long enough for the person to recognise the tell-tale yellow bar...) and the start-up may be slower, causing questions to be asked... then again, you can always say "What, Mum? Haven't a clue Mum. Wonder how that happened."


Well, I hope you benefit from these words of ancient... uh... recent wisd - uhm, knowledge. Happy Year Four everyone!

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