Shhh... I'm Playing NeoPets by ormsqueak | |
How to prevent others from knowing you are on NeoPets (when they enter the
room)
INTRODUCTION
Now this article will be irrelevant to those adult players on NeoPets (unless
of course you're playing it on an office computer or similar, and even if you're
not you might like to read it anyway... oh, go on, read it. Some bits are funny...
really they are), and the article is mainly aimed at younger players whose parents
don't like them to be on the Internet all the time. If your parents are lenient,
then these little tips can be ignored. However, for those of us whose parent's
oppressive an anti-NeoPets regime (well, maybe not that bad), meaning that they
cannot use the Internet as often as they like, these little gems (well, maybe
not quite gems) these little bits of scuzzy glass that, when polished, might
look like gems, of information, might possibly prove of some use to you. Maybe.
First, some general tips...
It is advisable to practise listening for people coming up the stairs or across
the landing/hallway/next room so that you can utilise one of the following before
the person comes into the room. Turning the computer off after they walk in
the door is hardly convincing. Also, use a keyboard that does not clack too
much, so that people cannot hear you typing those letters which come almost
on autopilot when you open the browser - www.neopets.com, of course - or your
angry hammering at the keyboard during a particularly passionate debate in the
NeoPets chat forums regarding whether or not Lupes eating Chias is wrong. Of
course, this is fine if you're supposed to be typing, for example, an essay
on Of Mice And Men, in which case a lack of typing is more concerning
to those lovely people who bought you into the world so you could play NeoPets.
THE METHODS:
1. Hiding The Window
This only works on Macintosh. Open a Microsoft Word, Appleworks or Clarisworks
file and pretend to do your homework or similar. These programmes all have a
little bar at the top with which you can hide a collapsed browser window. Alternatively,
you can open a Simpletext window (many of my mad poems are written whilst pretending
not to be on the Internet when my mother walks in), make it as big as possible,
and hide the browser behind it. Sadly these methods do not work on Windows due
to the bar at the bottom with all the open windows on it, and this is not any
good if others in your house keep picking up the phone. Stupid people, they
just need to try and get a new job, can't they see how essential it is that
you defeat the Snowager in the Battledome?
2. Allowed To Use The Internet (I'm studying Mum... really I am)
Have a different browser window with the Web site you're supposed to be on. Very
simple. Hide your NeoPets browser window behind it (this should really be above,
but what the hey). Simply going to a different Web site is no good, you never
know how long it might take, when the parent/snitchy sibling enters they may
observe the telltale yellow bar...
3. The More Expensive Options
Have a separate phone line for Internet access, and your own computer. This
way NOBODY NEED KNOW AT ALL!! Muahahahahahahah... Unfortuanately I can't afford
this. Woe is me.
4. The Really Obvious Method
Anyone should be able to figure this. Just close the browser window when you
hear them coming. Easy.
5. Physical Blocking
This is slightly obvious and should only be used by the next-to-desperate (for
the really desperate, see below). Hold a magazine or large book in front of
the computer screen, or stand in front of it. This can lead to questions like
"If you have a magazine to read, why are you on the computer?" and
other questions like that, so it is not the best of options, but it could work
once and a while.
6. The Really Desperate Method
If you have a computer on, and the plug at the wall is close at hand, on hearing
someone come near the room you can reach down and flick the computer off completely.
This will disconnect the Internet connection as well as removing the evidence.
This is only recommended as a last resort and if your computer is not prone
to crashing. After this, it is always advisable to turn the computer on again,
because on many computers, after an incorrect shut down, an image of what was
on the screen when you turned it off will flicker for a moment (but long enough
for the person to recognise the tell-tale yellow bar...) and the start-up may
be slower, causing questions to be asked... then again, you can always say "What,
Mum? Haven't a clue Mum. Wonder how that happened."
Well, I hope you benefit from these words of ancient... uh... recent wisd
- uhm, knowledge. Happy Year Four everyone! |