Avid readers of The Neopian Times may have noticed an article
with a similar title in The Neopian Times, not a few weeks ago. It was
a short quiz, testing to see if you "have your priorities straight".
This article is also a brief test… except it is to find out if you have your
priorities jumbled or confused and mixed-up. Once again, they are questions
which ask for a yes or no answer. Award yourself one point for a "yes"
answer, and no points for a "no" answer. Here are the
questions:
1. When turning on the computer, you are torn between the choices of
logging on to the Internet and onto NeoPets, and playing the Solitaire game
installed on your computer, in the Accessories section.
2. When filling in a survey over the phone, on the Internet, or anywhere
else, you notice a question: "Name of your favourite animal:"
You immediately write/say/type the word "cat" or "dog"
or "rabbit" or "bird" or "cockroach" (eww) etc.
Not once did you think of writing "Chia" or "Shoyru" or
"Lupe" or "Kacheek"… or ANY of the species of NeoPets!
3. Reading your local newspaper is more important than reading the
Neopian Times.
4. Your NeoPets are dying of hunger, but your dog is getting overweight.
5. You're totally lost after you've logged into NeoPets. You realise
you're in "Pet Central", but what the heck is that?! You don't know
where to go… what to do… how to do it… when to do it… who to do it to… the list
goes on. Eventually, you give up, and disconnect from the Internet.
6. You type with one finger but your handwriting is perfect and easy-to-read.
7. You call the Pteri "a bird", the Uni "a unicorn",
the Cybunny "a rabbit", the Gelert "a puppy"/"a dog"
and the Lupe "a wolf". The others that you can't describe, you call
"animals".
8. The words: "FREE DESERT PAINT BRUSH" mean absolutely nothing
to you. What would you do with a Paint Brush anyway?
9. The word "Kyrii" sounds more like "keyring".
You wonder who would be insane enough to create a keyring. And since when were
keyrings classified as animals?
10. All your friends LOVE playing NeoPets. You think they're all demento
and need serious help.
You've answered all the questions! Okay, now all you have to do is add
up all your points. You should be able to do this on your fingers… there are
only ten questions. After you've done that, scroll down to see what classification
you're under.
0: Congratulations! You've straightened out your priorities, you're
not confused at all!
1 - 5: That's an okay score! Hopefully, you got somewhere between one
and three… not four or five, but if you did, that's fine. There are others who
might have scored ten… *horrified gasp* however, work hard on NeoPets, and you'll
get it correct soon.
6 - 8: Erm… you aren't doing too well, huh? Well, you're not yet a
hopeless case. Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out… now keep on
playing NeoPets until you can answer "no" to all these questions!
9 - 10: Oh NO! What are we going to DO with you? If you answered "yes"
to question 10, we're… no, you're DOOMED! Your friends don't need serious help,
YOU do! Here… take this card *hands you a small business card* It's got the
number of a psycharitrist… a really good psycharitrist. It might cost a few
million dollars… but that's okay. Anything to straighten out your priorities!
How did you go? Hopefulluy, you received 0, like I did. If you got below 9,
but above 6, please take a business card from the stack attached to this article.
Call the number… it's the phone number for that psycharitrist I told most people
about. Tell her Snowy sent you, okay?~
Disclaimer: Jeez, I hate these. I have to say that these tests aren't true.
None of it is. If you took a business card, they're bogus too :( The phone number's
fake… as well as the name. Don't take this test seriously.
Disclaimer of the Disclaimer above: Correction. DO take the test seriously.
None of it is nonsense, okay? It's the TRUTH! The TRUTH!!! And the business
cards are real, too. Take one!
Disclaimer of the Disclaimer which is disclaiming the first disclaimer…
the one above this Disclaimer: It's all fake *sob* fake, I tell you!!!!
Disclaimer disclaiming ALL of them: Noooooooooooooooooo! It's not fake!
It's real, real, really! Beware if you received 10! BEWARE!!!!! *types furiously
while parents try to drag chair away from computer*
NB: Only the first disclaimer and the third disclaimers are correct. But if
you got 0, I'm proud of you! If you got 10, that's okay. Maybe you don't like
NeoPets that much. I don't know ... this is _snow_man_, your trustworthy correspondent,
signing off. | 
