| TYRANNIA - We’ve all been there. After ages of saving and hoping, your favorite
band is finally going to perform live in the Tyrannian concert hall. Too bad the
ticket booth has been sold out since 6 in the morning. Back to waiting and hoping.
Or is it? After months of waking up at hours even a Korbat would cringe at and
countless disappointments, I decided enough is enough. There was clearly only
one thing to do: Write a Neopian Times article on how to sneak into Neopia’s favorite
(and only) concert hall. Without a ticket. Or, as they are more accurately called
by those who know them well, a ‘Coloured Paper of sleepiness and unobtainability’.
Ta-da.
50. Take a photo of a ticket in somebody’s shop, then cut it out and glue it
to a piece of cardboard.
49. Catch a ride from the beast living in the Tyrannian mountain cave, then
parachute into the concert hall at a point past the security guards.
48. Become a member of the Neopets Team and change the coding of the site so
that you can see any concert you want for free.
47. Hire a minion to create a distraction while you sneak past the ticket booth.
46. Build a huge ladder and use it to climb on top of one of the monoliths
the hall is built of.
45. Steal the secret of invisibility from the hidden tower and have your army
of Slorgs capture Fyora so she can’t seek vengeance upon you. Then use this
new information to walk right into the concert without being seen.
44. Start a band and get a gig at the concert hall. Band members don’t need
a ticket to see themselves play. Unless they're pompous. Silly Unis.
43. Tunnel into the concert hall.
42. Drink a Blue Techo Morphing Potion to become a Techo. Then study the art
of Neo-Fu for years and buy a bunch of ninja Techo weapons. Use these and your
fighting knowledge to disable the people in ticket booths and enter the concert.
41. Cause the volcano on Mystery Island to erupt by flinging in thousand and
thousand of codestones. This will cause a chain reaction in under-water volcanoes
until it reaches the one in Tyrannia, causing it to erupt. While everyone is
fleeing for there lives, use any method mentioned here to enter. What with the
disturbance caused by this apocalyptic scenario, success rates of sneaking into
the concert are proven to rise 89%. Success rate s of escaping a river of molten
lava however...erm...well, technically we don’t have enough data to figure that
one out, seeing as no one has ever actually come back to report....
40. Become friends with the school bully and set him loose on the security
guards when they try to throw you out.
39. Become a member of the Tyrannian Council. I think free concerts was on
the list of job perks.....
38. Read an article on how to sneak into the Tyrannian Concert Hall.
37. Spin the Wheel of Excitement until it lands on the skull, giving you a
horrible disease. Now no one is willing to risk infection by coming close enough
to ask to see your ticket.
36. Hire one of the Aisha thieves to steal a ticket for you.
35. Have a friend plant a hidden camera in the concert hall so you can watch
the concert for free from your secret hideout.
34. Make your pet’s Puppyblew figure out a way for you.
33.Buy the Tyrannian concert hall and all the bands who play there. And while
you're at it, buy every item in Neopia, because you can, right?
32. Buy a poster of the band you want to see and cut out the face of one member.
Glue it over the face of a 100% Fake Uni Mask and pretend to be that performer
and just walk right in.
31. Become a Plushie Tycoon and then hire a whole board to think up a plan
for you.
30. Grow pink-and-purple pixie wings and just fly in over the security guards
head’s.
29. Fire yourself put of a red frost cannon into the concert hall.
28. Help Dr. Sloth take over Neopia in exchange for being teleported into the
concert hall.
27. Go to the other side of Neopia and see if anyone there can help you.
26. Hijack the Darigan Citadel and fly it to Tyrannia
25. Start a game of Tyrannian mini-golf and claim that your only dung ball
rolled into the concert hall and therefor you need to go in and look for it.
24. Interview everyone who ever saw a concert in Tyrannia and use their information
to build a giant cardboard replica and have hologram-created bands play there.
Then place it all in front of the REAL concert hall. While everyone is watching
your fake concerts, no one will stop you from seeing the real thing for free.
23. Repeatedly fail Jhudora’s quest until she gets so mad she kicks you off
her cloud. Then hope you land in the concert hall. Softly. Or at least not fatally.
22. Spin the wheel of Monotony and yell at the top your lungs that you rigged
it to stop on something that would give out 1,000,000 neopoints to everyone
watching it. While the whole of Tyrannia sits around waiting for it to stop,
walk right into the concert hall.
21. Start a conversation on the chatboards and ask people for ideas.
20. Drink sooo much Dandelion and Burdock Drink that you fill up with air and
start to float. The have a friend tie a piece of string to your hand and lead
you to Tyrannia where you can float above the concert hall.
19. Combine a lawn chair with many, many Cybunny balloons to created a floating
chair and then use paper fans to direct yourself over the concert hall.
18. Make a deal with the Pant Devil. He knows all.
17. Discover what destroyed Maraqua. The you’ll be so famous all the bands
will beg you to listen to their concerts. At least until the next plot comes
out.
16. Glue suction cups to your hands and feet and climb along the ceiling into
the concert, thereby evading all security guards who never look up.
15. Eat thousands of cans of baked beans. For a few hours, no will come near
you, let alone ask to see a ticket. It is advised that you buy a gas mask before
trying this.
14. Poison the ticket collectors with all that prune juice from the Tombola
and sneak past them while they are trying to wash the taste out of their mouths.
13. Collect all the map pieces and see if they lead to any secret entrances.
12. Build a tower of 5 dubloon coins and use it to climb over the wall into
the concert
11. Pretend to be a Neopian Times reporter and say you are doing a story on
whatever band is playing.
10. Eat ice cream until you have a massive brain freeze. The hope to have a
vision of how to sneak in.
9. Start doing a victory dance and claiming that you managed to sneak into
the Tyrannian concert hall. When the secret society of Never Pay for Tickets
comes to congratulate you and welcome you among their ranks, copy whatever methods
they used.
8. Zap yourself with the lab ray until something good happens.
7. Buy a ticket to the concert and use it to threaten the guards with paper
cuts unless they let you in.
6. Steal the shop wizard’s hat. Then hide under it and inche your way into
the concert, only moving when no one is looking.
5. Build a giant paper air plane out of old Neopian Times and a giant yo-yo.
Use the elastic bands holding your weekly Neopian Times together build a giant
sling-shot. Attach the yo-yo to the paper plane and grab hold of the yo-yo.
The have your pets launch you out of the slingshot and when you are over the
concert hall, jump off the yo-yo while it is as close to the ground as it bounces.
4. Through jelly beans at the wall until a magic portal into the concert hall
opens up where the jelly beans hit.
3. Steal the space ship from Advert Attack and pilot it into the concert.
2. Make the Babaas from Math’s Nightmare distract the security guards by demanding
to be counted.
1. Pay me 1,000,000 neopoints to think up a way for you.
Well, I hope this was of some help. Even if it wasn’t, it was a great way
to pass the time waiting for the ticket booth to re-stock. Now I must go! I
need a ticket for my own personal plan, a.k.a. Method 7! Bye!
| 
