The Wheel Of Monotony – Get ready for LONG wait...
The Wheel of Monotony, Still Waiting - The entire Games Chat Board is entranced
with the new Wheel of Monotony that was released on April 19th. Many, myself for
example, are busy telling ourselves “Patience... patience... just a minute longer...
it's got to stop sometime... and with a wait this long, the prize has got to be
great!” But alas. All in vain, as of this writing. So what's really with this
wheel? Is it a hoax (better not be!)? Is it a plot to keep us away from fighting
Lord Kass? Are they trying to hypnotize us? Or is it truly legitimate, and is
there a grand prize waiting at the end of a long, hour or more spin to wait, and
So, innocently enough, it's a spin the wheel game. You might have guessed that
it takes someone with massive patience to win. It can be found in Tyrannia,
and it's run by an extremely bored looking Tyrannian Quiggle. No question as
to why he's bored. Why? No need. Only a NeoFool or total n00b can't figure it
Ready to wait for a long time? No? Well, read the title of this article and
follow the directions. Get a chair, get comfy, get ready for a long wait, and
perhaps grab a book or something else to do. Come back to this article an hour
later, when hopefully your has stopped spinning.
It's been one hour. A long hour, and I am ready to report. The new wheel goes
on for quite a while. Seriously, you might want to put it on while you go off
to read a book or eat dinner.
After a short while, about a half-hour for me, the wheel will zoom in, and
slow down, some faster than others. Keep waiting, it'll zoom in once more before
Still with me? Still waiting? I hope to Faerie Queen Fyora that you have something
to do. I went to the Neoboards while I was waiting, for a little inside info.
As of this writing, few people actually received a prize after a long wait.
Some had their pets bonk their heads on a rock, bringing their HP down to half
(though it doesn't really). Others received lottery tickets, and a few folks
won some posters or cheap items. I was supposed to receive an avatar after I
won (and I have a screenshot too), but I still don't have it. Nearly all of
these people claim that after an hour or more, it stopped, they claimed their
prize, and didn't actually receive it.
So, we're still staring at this Wheel of Monotony, and still claiming some
prizes that we haven't received yet, and still telling ourselves to be patient.
We have a few theories as to what this wheel really is. It might be a device
of torture (the whole staring for hours thing isn't really good for your eyes),
it might be a perpetual motion machine that isn't quite bug-proof, it might
also be another useless way to waste time.
I'd like to remind you all of a few things to keep an eye on while spinning.
Remember that game of Neoquest that you never finished? What about Neoquest
2? Is your goal of becoming a Plushie Tycoon unfulfilled because your workers
are loitering? How about some Battledome challenges you never got around to
fighting? Maybe you're forgetting about a game of Armada you need to win to
get that trophy? Perhaps time to stop the Invasion of Meridell is slowly slipping
away with the month going by? Maybe you just need one more point to get on the
highscore table for the month?
Are you forgetting to visit your guild (visit mine too if you don't have one
yet!)? Are you making excuses not to go outside and play with REAL friends of
yours so you can watch the wheel? What about your pets? Go play with them now!
They're probably bored sick from watching you watch that wheel! We wouldn't
want them to go bonking their heads on rocks out of boredom only to lose half
their HP, would we?
Remember, be careful when playing this game. It could be a sinister creation
from Dr. Frank Sloth to distract us while he petnaps our Neopets. It could be
the first game to ever exist, designed by the Tyrannians for their own fun.
Even though it was created today. It could be a hyponotizing device. ... Must
... write ... article ... on ... perfectly ... innocent ... new ... game ...
Oh, sorry guys. I guess I just dozed off for a little while. It might have been
designed by our pets to keep us busy while they cause mischief. It might have
been created by Adee the Chia for the Defenders to spin, so they'd be too busy
to catch him stealing ice cream from the warehouse. Or it might just be a game.
We may never know.
So the game seems simple enough. Spin, and wait a long time. Not so. I have
tips for you. One ... play this game ... it is fun ... very worth it ... and
you can play it all day long ...unlike that stupid Wheel of Excitement ... Wheel
of Mediocrity ... Wheel of Misfortune ... Huh? Oh, I must have dozed off again
out of boredom from this game. So not worth your time. Anyway, if you choose
to play it, you might want to get another Neopets window open. You can work
on perfecting the interior design of your Neohome, collect more items for your
gallery, chat with some Neofriends, get reacquainted with your guild members,
read to your pets for that book award, feed your pets for that Gourmet Food
Award, work on your petpage and get to know some HTML, or you could get you
hand off that mouse and do something in the real world. Maybe like some Neopets
art to enter after the wheel stops spinning, like a real life replica of the
wheel. You could write a poem about how much fun the wheel is. Or you could
enter your pet in the pet spotlight, it's sure to win if you draw it spinning
the wheel (though I don't know how long it would pose for you). Finally, if
worst comes to worst, you could always write a boring Neopian Times Article
about the wheel... just like me. D'oh.
Author's Note: Hey, I'd like to give a shout out to the GMG, my own awesome
guild that I belong to, that inspired me to write. I'd also like to thank TNT
for creating a wonderfully useless game for me to write about for one more chance
at the Golden Quill on my lookup. I'd also like to thank a bunch of Neofriends
of mine that I can't possibly list that taught me to embrace insanity, and look
for the worst AND best in games, no matter how boring at first glance. And to
be patient. Ever patient.
Disclaimer: I realize I might be horribly contradictory in this article.
No, I don't really recommend you play this game until someone confirms that
prizes are working. We'll keep testing it, but we are not responsible for any
damage caused to your retina while staring at this game. We are also not responsible
if any of your Neopets are petnaped from Dr. Sloth while you play this game.
Finally, we know nothing about Adee the Chia and any connections he might have
with this game to possibly distract the authorities from their duties so he
can steal ice cream.