GALLERY OF EVIL - It is just one of the terrible facts of life. Whether Neopets
or not, there will always be a nasty bully, an ingenious mastermind that wants
to take over the world, a brainless, wobbly lump of monstrous strength, and a
dark shrouded figure only caring about what you have in your pocket.
But, unfortunately, not many know about these mysterious Neopian beings. Only
one book, namely ‘The Gallery Of Evil’, tells the little facts that there are
about them. Curious, I went out to thoroughly research everything I could on
these beasts-and I proved that there is much more to them then the dark Gallery
of Evil could ever tell…
My quest began when I set my eyes upon Kass. Standing tall and proud, eyes
flashing with an insane fierceness beyond words, I was captured by him. In the
previous Meridell war, I had fought beside Jeran, sword at the ready, shield
by my side. Lord Darigan was the hated enemy, a blank enemy to be fought, and
defeated. And yet, our hopes were turned around when it turned out that the
orb was actually his. Many abandoned King Skarl, and the Darigan side won the
The once-honest Darigan turned the Orb’s power to totally destroy, and yet
he was defeated. Now, Kass, the purple Eyrie with a touch of evil, is once again
leading the Citadel of Darigan in another war against Meridell.
I, in a way, fell for Kass entirely. Throwing down my weapons, I realized I
wanted to know more. Where did Kass come from? Why was he now leading the Citadel?
I turned to the Gallery of Evil for answers, opened it’s musty pages, read the
What I found did not satisfy my ravenous tastebuds. I searched, high and low,
not only for Kass, but about the other criminals of Neopia as well. Now, after
organising and rewriting my notes, I have recorded them here for the likes of
all Neopia to read…evil or not…
I hope you enjoy (or at least learn from) reading my own ‘Gallery of Evil’,
and find a spot in your heart for these creatures of dark night.
With huge, black hooves, muscles twined with steel veins, and four boned horns
protruding from his mouth and head, the Monocerous was the first ever found
evilness of Neopia.
Supposedly living in a dark, damp and putrid smelling cave for the most of
his long life, the Monocerous came out of living peacefully for a taste of Neopian
Its spine-chilling bellow can freeze you stiff, and once your body is helplessly
paralysed, the Monocerous will attack, eyes a deep, brown read, charging towards
you, horns at the ready. There have been many reports of pets being hurt into
0 HP by this fiery-tempered beast, but there is one survivor that has written
of his tale…
“The Monocerous charged towards me, it’s gigantic hooves slamming against the
ground with frightening speed. It’s eyes stared at me, huge and twisted with
a sort of sick delight, and it’s four horns were low to the ground, ready to
slash me to shreds. Sweat covered its coat in slimy patches, and its smelly
mouth opened with a insane roar, revealing rows of sharp, pointed teeth…driven
by a terror far beyond belief, I shrieked out. The Monocerous’ eyes suddenly
glazed over, and it put out it’s hooves and stopped in its tracks, panting and
sucking in air. I swallowed, daring to move, but I knew everything would be
alright. The Monocerous hung its head in a sort of hurt shame and definite revenge,
before sinking into the shadows and leaving me. I stayed in that place for two
and a half hours before someone came to rescue me.”
Strangely, the pet that wrote this on their petpage was not a Jubjub, which
are the only known pets that are immune to the Monocerous’ roar, or anything
similar to it. No, in fact it was a mere starry Lenny who was hanging around
the Lost Desert and just happened to be unluckily caught out. It only goes to
show you that unusual things can save you in the world of Neopets.
Looking for more information, I found a brilliant poem by a brilliant poet,
Recent_angel describing the Monocerous in perfect and breathtaking detail. The
poem goes as follows…
Where no beams of sunlight stray
And vines twist in a menacing way
In a cave so dark and deep
Where slimy creatures slowly creep
Upon a rancid bed of dung
Beneath where jagged rocks are hung
And dark shadowed bats squeal in chorus...
Beware the Monocerous
He bears four horns dark with might
That charge readily through the night
His eyes shine red with evil hate
That help decide a creature's fate
His fur is matted thick with waste
That displays his awful taste
He wanders fearlessly through the forest
Beware the Monocerous
Its bellow can freeze one's limb
And heartlessly make one's mind go dim
Although this creature is so strong
And that it does so much wrong
There is still one creature immune to it
That can avoid its awful hits
The JubJub that is so timid and small
Is not affected by the Monocerous's call
Others, Beware the Monocerous
So when the forest seems too quiet
And no light rays drift through it
When the forest is dark as night
You are sure to behold a fearsome sight
When this monster is out to roam
Make sure you are in your home...
Beware the Monocerous.
In case you haven’t noticed, the poem only emphisizes the terror that the Monocerous
can draw into the hearts of so many Neopians. Still wanting more, I looked harder,
and found this…
Hidden within the pages of The Gallery of Evil, a picture, creased and yellow
with ages but understandable shows the terrifying size and face of the Monocerous…
this is definitely one Neopian creature that you should stay away from, or at
least prepare yourself, and your pets for the meeting of… good luck.
Dr. Frank Sloth
Dr. Frank Sloth. For some, the name sends frightening memories back, thoughts
of wars and crushed hopes and months and months of hiding in terror. For others,
the name brings back happy times, working side by side, fun dreams, exchanged
wonders. Sloth, as he is commonly called, is either liked or hated. Hated for
the past, liked for the future. However, the insane Dr (where did he get his
degree anyway?) has been rumoured to be coming back, and so it is best to prepare
yourself in anyway possible…
Dr. Sloth is mostly known for his crazy plan to take over all of Neopia, and
he started this wild quest by getting Grundo’s and disfiguring them into freak
mutants, aided by his Grundo guards and soldiers, others that will be discussed
in future supplements of this series.
Much is known about Sloth, much more then what the perhaps outdated Gallery
of Evil has to offer us. Users such as plushieowner have set out to make him
appear innocent, fun, and amusing with his roll-eye ways. Perhaps now, after
his defeat by the Space Faerie and his long spell in space prison, he has loosened
up to become a life-loving being of modern Neopia…or maybe this is just another
one of his twisted schemes for the next great plot of his…
There is nothing truly preventing Sloth from again attempting to take over
Neopia. Being an unbelievable genius with an IQ that could reach Kreludor, Sloth
has created many technology weapons that could aid him well. Evil robots, killer
clones, space ships and ancient artifacts of major destructive power are just
a few of the tricks that are hidden up his long, jet-black sleeve.
I set out finding more about Sloth, and searched through the Neopedia, finding
· Sloth may be hundreds of years old…
· He’s quite a tall… thing! 6’3’ towers over all those other evil masterminds!
· His famous quote is: Pitiful Neopets, you will all soon be my slaves.
· He might just like Neopets… why else would he have stayed in Neopia? Scorchios
and Jubjubs appear to be his favourites.
Another weird fact about Sloth-he loves coffee and has a dartboard near his
office desk. Weird, hey? But still…evil works in mysterious ways.
For those that are curious about what Dr. Franks Sloth looks like, there are
many descriptions-green skin, red eyes, huge black robe, three spikes that may
be hair or horns, and a small, Snorkle-like nose…but, luckily, many pictures
exist of this power-hungry doctor.
Now, as you have probably already calculated, there are many more pictures
of the evil Frank Sloth, but for a particular reason I have chosen these ones
because of their curious differences.
In the first drawing, which I found in the Gallery of Evil volume, Sloth has
clenched fists, a large chin, and a big robe covering a broad body. The second
picture could not be more different. A Neopedia found piece, it shows Sloth
in a black jacket, with an orange baseball cap on backwards and mint green skin.
The next picture is a dark one, red with Sloths trademark black silhouette.
The one next to it reveals a rare glimpse into his spaceship fort, again in
a jet-black robe and in a tall chair, pleased about something (I shudder to
think what), and in the next, Sloth is peering out of a window, onto another
planet covered with yellow clouds.
The following three pictures show two modern accounts of Sloth, with a golden
Sloth trophy in the centre, making the evidence crystal clear-Sloth is forever
changing. The final picture, showing his face turned to the right, hands open
in a sort of wave, is a far cry from the Sloth in the black jacket and orange
baseball cap. Perhaps, then, it shows how Sloth has changed from an evil villain
without a heart to an amusing, advice giving columnist with a touch of craziness.
You, the public of Neopia, can decide for yourselves.
Next time, I’ll be reviewing Kass and Morguss, two rather new entries to the
Gallery of Evil. But, until then, I have a evil Spyder to go and have tea with…
This is reporter _cherryblossom_40, signing off after another grueling (and
perhaps gruesome) day.
Authors note: I hope you enjoyed the first installment and I hopefully
the next one will be published quite soon. If you have comments of any kind
please feel free to Neomail me. And, for those rearing to give gifts, I’m sure
a Kass item would suit me fine. :)