NeoLodge Magic: Saving Your Neopoints and Sanity!
NEOPIA CENTRAL- Millions of Neopians wander over to this little spot on the
great big world that is Neopia. Whether it's to go stock up on food for the
day, gaze misty-eyed at a Halloween Shoyru (I know I do that a lot...) or just
try and find a good deal, they're there. But one building, in the middle towards
the bottom, is something none of the other shops and attractions could ever
hope to be -- a hotel just for our own dear little Neopets! Yes, towering above
most other buildings is the amazing Neolodge, just bursting with untapped magic.
I'm sad to report, not many Neopians (That I know of, anyway...) take advantage
of this little haven. 'Why do our pets need a hotel? It's not like there's anything
there we can't just do by ourselves, and it costs Neopoints!' they'll say, then
walk on right by it to get to the Back to School shop. Well, I've got to tell
them, they are 100% wrong!
The Neolodge is pure Neopian Magic in a Can -- I mean building! While you’re
relaxing far, far away from the booming blasts and chaos of your normal life,
your pets will be bouncing off the walls, well fed and happy -- which is the
spiffy elevator music they play to your ears! Still not convinced? Well, just
keep reading, not-smart-Neolodge-patrion, and soon you’ll be flocking to that
House of Happiness!
Perk One: Hungry Pets Bugging You?
You just got back from playing a tense and difficult game of Chomby and The
Fungus Balls. Before you can even flop onto your nova sofa and start griping
about Level Three (Ask my Pets, I do that quite often! And I always get stuck
on Level Three, too…) your pets bound over to you, looks of innocence plastered
on their faces. 'Mummy?' (Or Daddy as the case may be!) They start in angelic
voices. 'We're hungry and we want chocolate!!' Has that ever happened to you
before? I know it's happened to me, and I've lost tons of Neopoints because
of it. But guess what? At the Neolodge, your pets popping up begging for sweets'll
be a thing of the past! Why, you might ask? Because the Neolodge keeps your
pets full all the time, and if they don't like the food, you'll be at your NeoHome,
enjoying a rare moment where your hyperactive Kacheek isn't tearing up the sofa,
one article of furniture at a time. Instead, he’ll be attacking the Neolodge’s
furniture -- and that stuff is guarded by Jetsam Security Guards! If that doesn't
sound good, I don't know what does! Now, how do I go about hiring those Security
Perk Two: Play With Me!! I Wanna Play NOW!
You walk in the door performing a circus act where you balance two cups of
hot borovan (Which spill on you and you wonder why you went through the pain
of the drink in the first place.), a deluxe blue toothbrush (Your Aisha's previous
one had taken flying lessons through a window.) and that chocolate your pets
where begging you for. Suddenly you're on the ground, your purchases now decorating
your clothing. "We wanna play! We're bored!!" They chant like a voodoo ritual.
You have no choice but to go out and buy more junk that costs Neopoints. Again,
though you might be surprised to hear, the Neolodge has the answer: You're pets
will always be entertained! Yes, another perk of that marvelous place were stressed
owners can send their little pest- I mean angels! You can even add on activities
to suit your Neopets unique interests -- like swimming for your Peophin, and
tennis for your JubJub (Who knows, he might even enjoy being used as as the
ball!) And yet again, you'll be free to earn Neopoints, spend, swim in, drown
in, do anything with those Neopoints! *Telemarketer costume comes on* Yes, with
all that free time, you could save Meridell! Find the Lost Dessert! Actually
spend a day in your NeoHome without getting trampled! (Gah, that last one is
a pretty scary thought!)
Perk Three: Full Wallets and Four Pets?
You’re staring glassy eyes at the beautiful royal paint brush, longing to
paint one of your pets with it. Too bad you don’t have enough Neopoints! Then
you trek off to the Grooming Parlor in hopes of getting some superstar shampoo
-- You still can’t afford it! Not even a cheap water ring is in your
budget! Of course, it’s because entertaining and feeding a growing Neopet costs
-- a lot! (Especially when one of your pets only eats food from the Heath Food
shop!) You may think having four Neopets means never having enough Neopoints
to go around, and if you’re not using the Neolodge you may be right! But employ
the Neolodge and you'll be amazed at how quickly the Neopoints rack up -- or
you’ll just be amazed you have Neopoints period! I’m not saying the Neolodge
is free -- everyone knows that it costs some Neopoints. After all, the good
things in life often are! But, just put your pet in the cheapest one, and you’re
set. Even without all the fancy add-ons and even if you put your pet in the
cheapest one, they’ll have a guarantied blast. They might not be the cleanest
pets in the world, but they’ll still have a blast!
So you see, all you people who just skip from the Rainbow Pool to the Auction
House, ignoring the Neolodge, have been ignoring a valuable fountain of Neopoints!
While you've been trekking to the Toy Shop to buy your pets a cheap toy key
ring to entertain them, or off to the Heath Food shop to buy some organic tomatoes
for your vegetarian Zafara, you could've been buying fun stuff while your pets
live in the lap of luxury! Every pet should be allowed to stay at the Neolodge
just once- And once they go hear the spiffy elevator music, they’ll never want
to come back! *Spiffy elevator music comes on* Now, I'm off to gawk at that
Halloween Shoyru. See you at the Neolodge!
Author's Note: Whoo! My first shot at a Neopian Times Article! So cool!
Anyway, I gotta thank some people, y'know! First off my buddy l3estest who got
me started on NT articles, and then to all the cool editors and NT staff who
make this possible- So cool! Look for my follow-up series- Neolodge Magic 2:
Which Lodge is Right for YOU? Oh, and comments? Suggestions? Flaming hate mails
that will make me cry? Send all to me! (Okay, maybe not the flaming hate mails
that'll make me cry...)