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Third Day of Hiding, Year Four
First Meeting of the Neopian Assembly
Scribe: Fyora, Faerie Queen of the Faerieland Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty Contest
Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c., S.S.c
Objectives: To bring peace to Neopia through the diplomatic process.
Representatives: Representing Faerieland and fulfilling scribe duties; Fyora,
Faerie Queen of the Faerieland Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty Contest Winner, Cellblock
Champion, B.S.c., S.S.c
From the Republic of Tyrannia; Grand Elder Kyruggi and Strategic War Division
and Omelette Supervisor Sabre-X.
From the Terror Mountain Parliament; Princess Lilac and a Tuskaninny named
Colin.
From the Meridell Monarchy; King Skarl.
From the Haunted Woods Anarchy; Edna the Witch.
From the Virtupets Space Station; Grundo Chef Gargarox Isafuhlarg.
From the Hereditary Rulers of the Lost Desert; Princess Vyssa and Princess
Sankara.
From the Enlightened Despotry of Mystery Island; Pango-Pango and Island Mystic.
From the Krawk Island Marital Law; Captain Threelegs and the Fontaine Sisters.
12:00
All diplomats on time except representatives from the Haunted Woods. Decided
to begin session anyway. First topic: the war for Meridell.
Captain Threelegs motioned for a drink break, motion overruled.
King Skarl. gave monotonous report on status in Meridell, return of Darigan,
etc. He motioned for an alliance between Meridell, the Lost Desert, and Faerieland.
Faerieland accepted, will discuss content of treaty at a later time.
Lost Desert unavailable for comment on motion, due to the fact that Princesses
Vyssa and Sankara fell asleep halfway during King Skarl's report.
12:10
Lost Desert delegates roused. Declined King Skarl's request for an alliance,
but accepted his request for larger land armies from the Lost Desert to be stationed
around the borders of Meridell. King Skarl. very grumpy.
Grundo Chef Gargarox motioned for a new trade agreement between the food distribution
and selection between the Virtupets Space Station and Mystery Island. Pango-Pango
replied with many unintelligent grunting noises. Island Mystic predicted a great
storm.
MYSTERY ISLAND / VIRTUPETS TRADE AGREEMENT POINTS
1. Export of "Gross Food" from Mystery Island be discontinued.
2. Export of any food from the Virtupets Space Station that has signs of primitive
cardiovascular systems be discontinued.
3. All food trade between Mystery Island and the Virtupets Space Station be
discontinued.
4. Mystery Island pays fee of 310 NP to the Virtupets Space Station for health
damages to Grundo Chef Gargarox Isafuhlarg after the ingestion of a piece of
Eye Candy.
12:30
Kyruggi and Sabre-X read report on the status of Tyrannian Land Army and Omelette
supervision.
Unfortunately, nobody at Neopian Assembly speaks fluent Tyrannian, except
Princess Lilac, and the only phrase she knows is "Urga Ugg-Ugg-Ugga-rug!" which
roughly translates to "I would like to purchase a small bucket and spade."
Captain Threelegs motioned for a drink break, motion overruled.
12:40
Small non-violent but verbally exhausting fight breaks out between Fontaine
sisters and the Princesses Vyssa and Sankara of the Lost Desert.
Possible Explanations for Disagreement:
-The two overruled motions from Captain Threelegs to have a drink break
-The Fontaine sisters' 'borrowing' of Princess Sankara's new Sultry Neopian®
mascara
-Princess Vyssa's 'borrowing' of the Fontaine sisters' new designer lip gloss
Captain Threelegs motioned for a drink break, motion granted.
Fontaine sisters and Princesses Vyssa and Sankara at peace.
12:45
Drink break a disaster.
Kyruggi and Sabre-X single-handedly responsible for the omelette fight that
took place in Grand Hall. Princess Lilac is in distress in the ladies room,
and refuses to come out until Kyruggi and Sabre-X apologize for the bits of
omelette caked into her fur.
Gargarox Isafuhlarg and Pango-Pango did not help matters, but seemingly worsened
the situation by taking all of the samples of Virtupets Space Station and Mystery
Island food and sling-shotting it across the hall at the Fontaine sisters. Fontaine
sisters not amused.
King Skarl. found in the dining room, trying to nick several priceless Faerieland
works of art. Reason or motive: unknown.
Colin the Tuskaninny, representative from Terror Mountain, presumed missing.
Representative from Haunted Forest, Edna the Witch, finally shows up. Proceeds
to invoke havoc upon the Faerieland Grand Hall. Unknown green frothy substance
now covers the whole of the hall in addition to pieces of omelette. Edna the
Witch blatantly refuses to remove it. When asked politely to explain tardiness,
she only cackled. In an annoying way.
Island Mystic predicted that I, Fyora, Faerie Queen of the Faerieland Monarchy,
Five-Time Beauty Contest Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c., S.S.c would develop
a pimple on the end of my nose next week. Nutty old hag.
12:55
All representatives back in their respective seats. Faerieland Great Hall
is currently being cleaned by several Water Faeries.
Captain Threelegs motioned for a drink break, motion UNANIMOUSLY overruled.
Colin the Tuskaninny still presumed missing.
King Skarl began a second speech about the war for Meridell. Called for a
new trade agreement between Tyrannia and Meridell.
TERMS OF THE NEW TRADE AGREEMENT:
1. Tyrannia export one tenth of all iron ore to Meridell for sole purpose
in shield or weaponry creation and distribution.
2. In exchange for the iron ore, Meridell exports equally valuable food supplies
and/or precious stones.
3. No pooftahs.
12:56
King Skarl's proposed trade agreement denied.
Princess Lilac of Terror Mountain has found her Tyrannian/Neopian - Neopian/Tyrannian
phrase book, and is now able to translate somewhat fluently for the Tyrannian
delegates. Sabre-X replied to Skarl's proposition by saying, "Urga-murg UGG
UGG!"
Translation: "I wish you the pox, and please keep off the grass, ugly firstborn."
12:57
King Skarl's proposed trade agreement in fact accepted.
Princess Lilac reported a "Translation Malfunction" and reported that "Urga-murg
UGG UGG!" actually translates to "When in doubt, say yes, you savvy conformist,
you!"
12:58
King Skarl's proposed trade agreement denied.
Captain Threelegs decided to take his own drink break.
"Urga-murg UGG UGG!" = "May a Doglefox eat your socks. I'd rather choke to
death on a raw piece of haggis."
1:00
Colin the Tuskaninny still presumed missing.
Princesses Vyssa and Sankara and the Fontaine sisters getting along rather
jovially, for a change. Have proposed a new trade agreement between Lost Desert
and Krawk Island.
TERMS OF NEW TRADE AGREEMENT:
1. The Lost Desert exports 50 lbs. of Sultry Neopian® mascara.
2. Krawk Island exports 350 bottles of Alluring Aisha: Ravishing Red nail polish.
3. The Lost Desert exports 10 bottles of Wrinkle-B-Gone DIY Sandmask kits.
4. Krawk Island exports 620 lbs. Of Krawk Island Organic Concealer in "Landlubber"
and "Skint-arrr-mites".
5. The Lost Desert exports 45 lbs. Of Oasis Optical Illusions crushed powder
and bronzer.
6. Krawk Island exports 200 bottles of Mystical Muse eyeshadow in the following
hues: Tranquil, Serene, Serendipity, and Apathy.
I, Fyora, Faerie Queen of the Faerieland Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty Contest
Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c., S.S.c am very upset that Faerieland was
excluded from this new trade agreement. Voiced my opinion to include Faerieland.
Lost Island and Krawk Island have declared war on Faerieland.
Princess Vyssa of the Lost Desert said, quote, "We don't want any of your
stinky eyeshadow and blush!"
The Fontaine sisters and Princess Sankara seconded the opinion of Princess
Vyssa. Princess Sankara continued Princess Vyssa's previous comment by saying,
quote,"Like, Faerieland is so last Thursday. Pastels are out, wild shades are
so in! Like, why don't you do a makeup exchange with Tyrannia?"
1:01
Tyrannia has declared war on both Krawk Island and the Lost Desert for Princess
Sankara's slanderous comment.
Sabre-X's declaration of war, quote, "Mugga-ugg UGG urga-burg!"
Translation: "I shall avenge my great aunt Millicent, twice removed on my
mother's side!"
1:02
Tyrannia has not declared war on either Krawk Island or the Lost Desert for
Princess Sankara's slanderous comment.
Sabre-X's comment, quote, "Mugga-ugg UGG Urga-burg!"
Translation: "Quiet, whippersnapper, or I shall slap you into a nearby dimension."
1:10
Captain Threelegs returned from drink break. I, Fyora, Faerie Queen of the
Faerieland Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty Contest Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c.,
S.S.c, informed him of the recent declaration of war between Faerieland and
Krawk Island and the Lost Desert.
Captain Threelegs has banished the Fontaine sisters from the Neopian Assembly.
The trade agreement between the Lost Desert and Krawk Island has been hereby
canceled.
Princesses Sankara and Vyssa of the Lost Desert unhappy.
1:25
Order restored to the first annual Neopian Assembly.
Princesses Sankara and Vyssa of the Lost Desert have calmed down considerably,
and have renounced the declaration of war. With some slight persuasion, they
have also formally apologized to the damage that their slanderous comments have
had upon me, Fyora, Faerie Queen of the Faerieland Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty
Contest Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c., S.S.c.
In exchange for the damage caused to me, Fyora, Faerie Queen of the Faerieland
Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty Contest Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c., S.S.c,
they have agreed to accept King Skarl. of Meridell's proposal of an alliance
between the Lost Desert and Meridell.
Delegates Gargarox Isafuhlarg and Pango-Pango served entire Neopian Assembly
with a "Mysterious Virtupets" concoction in the form of a three-course luncheon.
Mysterious part of meal was that it tasted wonderful.
Colin the Tuskaninny reappeared, quote, "I gots myself locked in the linen
closet." Princess Lilac of Terror Mountain ecstatic.
Edna the Witch, diplomat from the Haunted Woods, took an early leave, quote
"All this happiness is making me sick!"
1:30
I, Fyora, Faerie Queen of the Faerieland Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty Contest
Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c., S.S.c. motioned for adjournment.
Adjournment unanimously granted.
As delegates left, the Island Mystic said to me, Fyora, Faerie Queen of the
Faerieland Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty Contest Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c.,
S.S.c. that the pimple prediction was just a joke.
I, Fyora, Faerie Queen of the Faerieland Monarchy, Five-Time Beauty Contest
Winner, Cellblock Champion, B.S.c., S.S.c., thanked the Island Mystic for her
honesty.
As Island Mystic was leaving Faerieland Hall, she called back, quote "In honesty,
it'll be more of a repugnant rash."
Nutty old hag.
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