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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 17th day of Relaxing, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 127 > Articles > Top 30 Warning Signs That You've Been Playing Neopets Too Much

Top 30 Warning Signs That You've Been Playing Neopets Too Much

by spirit_wolf72

Yes, it is Spirit_wolf72, your local nutcase, back from the grave- er, her grandmother's Thankgiving party. Anyway, I have, in my own expansive free time, compiled a list of the Top 20 Warning Signs To Watch Out For. If these things start to happen, you know you've been playing Neopets far too long. If you fit one or more of these tell-tale signs- oh heck, keep playing anyway. Actually, I fit more than one of these guidelines. It's sad, isn't it? But hey, I'm happy!! Whee!!!

So, here goes. You've been spending too much time on Neopets if:

1. You wake up screaming from dreams about accidentally deleting your 1,500 member guild.

2. You start to hiss to the class nerd that he is the biggest Lenny you've ever met every time you pass by him in the hallways. You become the new class nerd.

3. You've printed off every single one of Stoneman3x's Neopian Times stories/articles/comics and compiled them in a binder to read whenever you wish.

4. Whenever you see a rabbit, you scream, 'Oh my gosh! A Cybunny! They're limited edition!' and leap over to catch it. When the rabbit hops away in fright, you lay sobbing on the ground, wailing about the cruelty of The Neopets Team.

5. When your mom spends over an hour at the store looking for a beauty product, you ask her why she doesn't just use the Shop Wizard.

6. When the prices of your favorite candy bar go up at your local gas station, you mutter about Neopian Inflation and curse Adam and Donna.

7. Whenever a cereal comes out that says it is out 'for a limited time only', you buy 400 boxes and hoard them all under your bed, saying to your worried parents that you're planning to sell them all at increased prices once they're retired.

8. Everything you see makes you think about Neopets for some odd reason.

9. The words 'Down for Maintenance' make you start to cry and run away screaming to your computer to make sure it's 'not really down'.

10. You burn down your local newspaper office, and plant a sign in the middle of the ashy ruins that reads, 'You'll never be as good as The Neopian Times!'

11. When your computer crashes and has to be taken away to be worked on, you sit up in your room for weeks without eating, muttering, 'Why me?' and cry that all your Neopets will be dying and you'll have 12 pages off posts to catch up on once your computer gets back.

12. You refuse to eat anything but omelettes and jellies.

13. You have more friends on Neopets than you do in real life.

14. You think your desk at school is starting to look boring, so you go up and ask the teacher where you can get some better avatars and neoHTML codes.

15. Whenever you hear the word password, you wonder how it got past the censors, and immediately go on Neopets to change yours.

16. When you are outside with your friends on a cold winter's day, and one of your friends says that they are frozen, you look at them in horror and sympathy, and ask them what they did, if it was a stupid mistake, and to let you know if you can do anything to help them get their account back.

17. Whenever your dad says it is time to give your room a new paint job, you look at the paint brushes he brings out in awe and wonder, and ask him how much he wants for them.

18. Whenever you see an anagram, you mutter, 'So Eliv's cooked up another one, eh? I wonder how many NP it's worth...' and don't do anything else until you solve the anagram.

19. When you study Egypt in History, you ask the History teacher with a confused look on your face where on earth Coltzan's Shrine is.

20. You never finish any of your homework because you're too busy doing all your Neopets stuff and trying to learn HTML and CSS at the same time.

21. You spell everything the Neopets way. For example, you spell faerie 'F-A-E-R-I-E' even if you're American.

22. You take a little notebook everywhere you go and write stories for the Neopian Times in it, mostly when you're in Math class.

23. When you wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep, instead of watching TV or reading a relaxing book, you get on Neopets.

24. When you see a sloth at the zoo, you shriek that it's conspiring with Dr. Sloth and run away. Coming back, you capture it and tell your angry parents and zoo officials that you're planning on turning the evil fiend into the Defenders of Neopia HQ for questioning, and they can have him back if the Defenders don't want to keep him for a hostage.

25. Whenever you turn on a faucet or any other sort of thing that gives running water, you marvel at it and wonder how it works because there is no water company in Neopia.

26. You start calling your pet dogs Lupes and Gelerts; your pet cats Wockies and Kougras; your pet rabbits Cybunnies and your pet lizards Techos.

27. When you see a black and white cow, you tell your parents that it's an alien being.

28. Whenever you finish reading a book, you are very confused when it doesn't disappear in a puff of smoke.

29. You refuse to drive or ride in an automobile because you are convinced that they don't exist.

30. Instead of calling the months by their earth names, like January and February, you use the Neopets names, like The Month of Hunting and The Month of Eating.

Not only are these warning signs, they're also a great way to greatly frighten everyone who knows you and make them seriously consider your mental health.

Of course, if any of these things happen to you, by no means stop playing! Neopets is great, and I sure am not going to let a few warning signs and my mental health slow me down!


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