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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 4th day of Running, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 125 > Short Stories > The Misadventure of Ultra Poogle

The Misadventure of Ultra Poogle

by holycow81

"So, in the next panel, Super Lupe blows the evil deranged mutant Sloth minions to smithereens with an electronic hyper phase distortion blaster..." read a yellow Poogle with a note of suspense.

     "64587465874368767, you know I have no idea what any of those words meant with the possible exception of 'the,'" said Holycow81, who had heard that comic book read, by his count, about four hundred fifty thousand, three hundred ninety-eight times before. The entire family was in the living room that Sunday afternoon, listening to 64587465874368767 read her favourite comic book because they had nothing better to do.

     "We know how the story ends, 64587465874368767," said Groucho45, the red Techo, "you've read it so many times, we've practically memorised it."

     "Well, practically isn't enough. I'm giving you a 100 question test on this tomorrow."

     Everyone but a yellow Kougra moaned. Skyhawk1010, the yellow Kougra, then said "Woohoo!" He was great at school and wondered why more people didn't like being tested.

     "Oh, I'm kidding," said 64587465874368767. Everyone sighed with relief. "It's 200 questions." Everyone started moaning again.

     "Look, if you like the super hero comic so much, you should become a super hero yourself," said Groucho45 sarcastically. He was just kidding, but 64587465874368767 got an idea.

     "One moment," she said as she ran into the closet. In a few minutes, she walked out wearing a red cape. "Never fear, Ultra Poogle is here!"

     "Oh, brother," said Holycow81.

***

The next day, 64587465874368767 refused to go to school. "In all the comic books I've read, I haven't seen one super hero go to school."

     "What about Korbatman? He's a scientist."

     "Oh, alright." 64587465874368767 went to school, but wore the cape either way.

     A blue Shoyru on the way to school asked, "64587465874368767, what's with the cape?"

     "64587465874368767? Who is this 64587465874368767? I'm Ultra Poogle!"

     "You have serious problems..."

     ***

64587465874368767... er... Ultra Poogle opened her locker. The neopet with his locker next to hers said, "If you're not 64587465874368767, then how come you know her locker combination?"

     "Oh, I have x-ray vision. I can see into it."

     64587465874368767 encountered several problems in class. "64587465874368767, would you please take your cape off in class?" asked Mrs. Owen.

     "I keep telling everyone, I'm not 64587465874368767! I'm Ultra Poogle!" said 64587465874368767. Everyone laughed.

     After school that day, 64587465874368767 went home and read comic books. "I didn't think super heroines read comic books about themselves," said Holycow81.

     "When nothing's going on, they do," said 64587465874368767.

     "Man, how egocentric can you get..."

***

One day, 64587465874368767 walked by the kitchen and looked through the keyhole. She saw movement at the table. A red figure came out. "Whoa, a robber in my own kitchen," she said as she got ready for an attack. "Well, he's no match for..." She slammed the door open and jumped into the room dramatically, "Ultra Poogle."

     "Augh!" said the neopet as he accidentally closed his claw in the fridge. It turned out to only be Groucho45.

     "Be quiet, Groucho! I just saw a burglar in here somewhere..."

     "What? What burglar? I just came in here to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

     "Oh no! It was you? Why would you rob your own house...?"

     "What are you talking about? I didn't come here to rob anything! I'm not a robber any more than you're Ultra Poogle."

     "So you are a robber! Prepare to be..."

     "Are you that thick? You aren't Ultra... whatever!" said Groucho45 as he snatched 64587465874368767's plastic handcuffs and stomped on them.

     "B-b-but the cape..."

     "'B-b-b-b-but the cape!'" said Groucho45 in the silliest exaggerated voice possible before he left the kitchen.

***

The next morning, 64587465874368767 went to the breakfast table in a bad mood. As he poured Coco Crunch into her bowl, Holycow81 asked, "So, how are you doing today, Ultra Poogle?"

     "Who's this 'Ultra Poogle' person? I'm 64587465874368767," the yellow Poogle said grumpily.

     "So then, what happened to Ultra Poogle?"

     "She gave up her duties to Judge Hog," said Groucho45 for a joke.

     64587465874368767 walked to school that day and dodged every question involving Ultra Poogle. She denied any knowledge of the super hero's existence at school.

     When 64587465874368767 got home that day, she saw a note on the door. It said:

"Dear neopet,

This is your owner. I have taken my pet/pets to the Neolodge without you and want you to stay at the house. Especially don't go to Dr Sloth's lair, no matter how suspicious you are of his guilt.

Best wishes,

Your owner."

     64587465874368767 just glared at the note skeptically. Obviously, this was the work of Dr Sloth, who kidnapped Holycow81 and his other pets and left that stupid note.

     She sat on the stoop, waiting for nothing. It wasn't her problem that her owner and brothers were kidnapped. Nosiree. And yet, she still felt sort of guilty.

     Suddenly, out of a puff of white smoke, a small figure landed on 64587465874368767's shoulder. It looked exactly like her, except it was wearing a white cloak and had a halo above it's head. "You have to save your owner," it said to 64587465874368767, "just go to Dr Sloth as Ultra Poogle!"

     "I tell everyone, I'm not ultra Poogle anymore."

     "That's right. It's not your problem. Even if, when you don't save him, he can't feed you or love you, and you'll have to go back to the pound where Holycow81 got you from..." said a small red Poogle figure with horns, a pitchfork and a long tail who had landed on 64587465874368767's opposite shoulder.

     64587465874368767 looked at the red Poogle skeptically. "You're not very bright, are you."

     64587465874368767's bad side said, "Well, it puts bread on the table," before 64587465874368767 flicked it into a nearby garbage can.

     "You know what to do," said the white figure before vanishing. 64587465874368767 went into the house and put on her cape.

     Meanwhile, in Sloth's Lair, Holycow81 and hid pets were tied to a rather large stake. "Um, forgive my asking, but why did you kidnap us?" asked Skyhawk1010.

     Dr Sloth spoke in a deep voice, "Because Ultra Poogle is a threat to my plans. When she comes, I will destroy her, and nothing will be in my way when I, once again, try to take over Neopia! Muhahahaha!"

     "What, you mean 64587465874368767? She's just a stupid yellow Poogle," said Groucho45.

     "I can't take that chance. If you co-operate, I will destroy you all rather painlessly."

     Suddenly, a window smashed open and 64587465874368767 flew in. "Never fear, Ultra Poogle is here!" she said proudly.

     "Watch out, 64587465874368767! He's trying to kill you!" yelled Chiastovsky.

     "You silly..." said Dr Sloth as he took out his laser gun, "I'll get you right after I'm done with your friend!"

     Before Sloth could fire one shot, 64587465874368767 rapidly fired with her scarab stone slingshot and knocked him out. She untied her owner and brothers and they all escaped safely.

     When they all got home, Groucho45 said "Well, that was impressive. Thanks for saving us, Ultra Poogle!"

     "Please, Groucho, I'm 64587465874368767!"

The End


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