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Recently Neopets celebrated the Annual Chocolate Ball. I don't know about you,
but I rented a white chocolate tuxedo for the occasion and then sat by my Neomail
box all day waiting for an invitation. For some reason I never got one. Of course,
this isn't the first Neopian holiday I managed to miss. Take "National Talk Like
a Pirate Day", for example. I didn't even know about it until too late because
in my NeoHome every day is "Talk Like a Pirate Day". Of course, it should have
been a clue when ALL my pets started talking like a pirate, not just my pirate
Krawk.
Anyway, the point is Neopian holidays in general just seem to sneak up on
you when you least expect it. And I think I have figured out why. There just
aren't enough holidays on NeoPets. We need a LOT more holidays. That way, if
you accidentally miss one, you know they'll be another one just around the corner.
So what kind of new holidays should there be? Well, by an odd coincidence,
I just happened to think up a whole bunch of them. And I'm pretty sure that
with all of the new holidays I came up with, there should be at least one holiday
in the batch to please even those Neopians who are pretty picky about the holidays
they celebrate. So here they are, my list of Neopian Holidays That Should
Be:
Veggiebogen Festival : There is a Gadgadsbogen Festival that celebrates
fruit, so how come there isn't a holiday that celebrates the new vegetable harvest?
I figure the place for this event would be Meridell. The place has so many turnips
and potatoes that the citizens count them and stack them for amusement. If you
ask me, that's just plain sad. They definitely could use a decent holiday. We
could have an art contest to chose the Asparagus King and the Asparagus Queen
of the day. Of course, we would need a mystery to solve, so I figure we could
just bump off the Asparagus King and the Asparagus Queen. That way we don't
have to worry about people bragging about it on their pet pages.
Deju Vu Day : All of the updates on the News Page will be exactly the
same as the previous day. This means if you forgot to read the news the day
before, you'll have another chance to read it while it's hot off the presses.
This holiday will soon be as big as "National Talk Like a Pirate Day", I just
know it.
Deju Vu Day : All of the updates on the News Page will be exactly the
same as the previous day. This means if you forgot to read the news the day
before, you'll have another chance to read it while it's hot off the presses.
This holiday will soon be as big as "National Talk Like a Pirate Day", I just
know it. Whoa! Did that actually just become a holiday?
Destruction of Maraqua Carnival : It was a pretty big event when an
entire world was sucked up by a whirlpool. That certainly doesn't happen every
day, even in Neopia. So why don't we toss a big party to celebrate it? There
are a bunch of things we could do with a sort of destroying-pillaging-angry
mob theme. We could dredge the Mysterious Statue up off of the ocean floor and
drag it down Main Street. Then we could all storm the kitchen of the Cooking
Chef Flotsam and demand he give out decent rewards for the items we fork over
for his quests. After that, we could all lay a trap for Jacko the Phantom Painter
and force him to actually give out a whole bunch of Maraqua Paint Brushes. Won't
that be jolly fun?
Dung Day : Who wouldn't want to celebrate a holiday devoted to that
most precious of all Neopian items-- DUNG? This holiday is ripe with possibilities.
In fact, it's pretty much ripe in general. Just think of all the lovely pictures
of dung there would be in the Art Gallery special for that day. The whole idea
takes my breath away... thank goodness. And it would be the one-day-a-year that
you could actually donate your dung to the Money Tree. Now that's an opportunity
none of us would want to miss.
Dr. Sloth Appreciation Day : Without Dr. Sloth, Neopia would be a really
happy, peaceful, no-ray-gun-to-turn-your-stuff-into-a-Pile-Of-Sludge place.
Yeah, I know, the idea of a Sloth-free Neopia nauseates me too. So we should
show our gratitude for his wonderful evilness by setting aside a day to make
even more fun of him in our comics, stories and poems than we already do. I
know he will be very honored by this.
Bored-Stiff Staff Day : Well... I suppose that's just about every day
of the year... but at least we could have some sort of a special holiday devoted
to it. Of course, no one but the Neopets Team would even know when it was, so
I guess we'll have to wait for some sort of banner about it to pop up on the
Webcam. But we may get a hint about it in the News Update. When more than one
Neopet can be painted Sponge, we'll know that the staff must be REALLY bored
that day.
Upside-Down Pet Day : Of course, this could also be an event for Bored-Stiff
Staff Day rather than a separate holiday. Basically it involves every single
Neopet in everyone's pet lookup being turned upside down for a day. It's kind
of a pointless event, but so was having all of the Petpets disappear for a week--
so why not?
Red Sports Car Racing Day : Okay, so Nigel the Chia is the only one
in Neopia that has a red sports car. In fact, Nigel the Chia is the only one
in Neopia that has a car period, so it might be a pretty dull race. But at least
we could finally bet on a race that doesn't involve feeding something first--
like a Turdle, a Poogle or a fat pirate.
Good Old Days Day : This will be the most cherished holiday of the
Neopian Calendar, I guarantee. For one whole day, you'll be able to read a book
to your Neopet and then sell it, Codestones will cost 500 Neopoints apiece,
Maraqua will resurface, and all of those retired Hidden Tower items will pop
up in the Hidden Tower again. It also means that pets like the Zafara, Acara
and Bruce will go back to looking the way they originally did, but you can't
have everything.
Eata Loafa Bread Day : Ummm... I don't know what this day will be all
about. I just liked the sound of it.
Your Neopets Birthday : This wouldn't technically be a Neopian general
holiday, but it would be a special day for everyone sometime during the year.
Every year, on the anniversary of the day you created your account and on the
birthdays of your Neopets, you would actually get a gift from Neopets in your
item box. Personally, I don't care if it's a Ruined Ptolymelon-- as long as
it's SOMETHING to show that at least the Mega-Neopets-Computer noticed. Okay,
so maybe I'm sounding a little whiny on this one, but at least I can stop bugging
my Neofriends with hints about it.
Jelly World Doesn't Exist Day : This will be a whole festival devoted
to a place that doesn't even exist. That means that the shops will be filled
with jelly-themed items that don't exist. There will be an Art Gallery special
and Poetry Contest that will give out prizes that don't exist. And the News
Update will announce Neopets that can now be painted Jelly-- that won't actually
exist. Won't this be a fun-filled day?
Rename Your Stupid Pet Day : I really really really and even really
hope that this really becomes an annual event. All of those people who named
their Neopets something dumb like spiffyneatcoolneo5789473 will have
the chance to go back and rename their Neopet spiffyneatcoolneo5789474
instead.
I don't have space to talk about all of the holidays that should be, but here
are a few more candidates:
Dress-up Like Meridell Gravy Day
Absolutely No Bad Random Events Day
Useless Item Swap Day
Mootix Infestation Stomp 'Em Flat Bug-Off Day
Coltzan Actually Blesses Your Pet Instead of Laughing Manically At You Day
Half-Price Hidden Tower Day
Battledome Challengers Come Out of Hiding Convention
Lupe Banquet (Chia Clown Carnival)
Bloat the Turmaculus on Something Other Than Petpets Day
Free Swim For All in the Rainbow Pool Day
The Snowager Slips into a Coma Day
So there you have it. Some of the possible new holidays that would make Neopia
more fun. Or at least a little more interesting... okay, okay, a little more
bizarre. Sheesh.
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