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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 16th day of Relaxing, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 111 > Articles > Some Roxy Advice

Some Roxy Advice

by roxycaligirl101

A MESSY DESK - Hello, I'm glad you decided to read advice from The Neopian Times actual advice columnist. There was a recent article last week written on the behalf of a Dr. Frank Sloth. Sloth, I have some advice for you; don't quit your day job! By the way, how about a wardrobe change once in awhile? If you'd love to discuss how to give proper and good advice over a cup of borovan I'd love to do lunch with you. I've never had lunch with an evil genius before and I'd be honored to offer my autograph and advice.

Moving on, I've gotten stacks and stacks of letters and I want to thank everyone who submitted their problems to me. I am quite honored that you would come to ask me, than anyone else. I wish I could display all the letters, but I can't. I carefully selected the following letters and my solutions to appear in the article. As always I am ready to offer my advice to anyone that asks of it; in some cases some that don't ask for it at all!

Dear Roxy: My Baggus-brained Lupe brother was running through the house and he like totally trashed an outfit of mine. Now like I cant leave the house. I mean like, eeew, go out in something that isn't like, over 6,000 Neopoints? That is like SO Snowager time... -Can't Go Out For A Sale

Dear Can't Go Out For A Sale: Like, I think you have a problem like using like the word like. First of all, I am sorry your brother trashed your outfit. I hate when that happens, my brother, Kudio has destroyed his fair share of my outfits, too. You always need a back-up outfit. There is more to fashion than just who has the most expensive clothes, if you are buying all your clothes based on the price tag than on what they actually are; then you really know nothing about fashion at all. As for not wanting to shop at sales, you can find some good vintage items at sales; which you must know are like totally in. By the way, before I totally like forget you might want to work on using the other like words than like, like. It makes you sound like you like have no like brain cells! I may be into fashion but that doesn't mean I am like shallow or stupid! No offense, but you should like both when you talk like that. Another little piece of advice, I wouldn't go around insulting the Snowager. Icicles fired at you can really ruin a snow ensemble. -Roxy

Dear Roxy: Dr. Sloth gives way better advice than you. Why is it that you are the advice columnist not him? -Sloth Rules

Dear Sloth Rules: I must say it must be quite hard to dress so bad, give advice, and attempt to take over the world. Must I remind you that Dr. Frank Sloth has never successfully taken over the world and hasn't offered advice worth taking. No offense, Slothy! Do you want to take advice form a badly dressed failure or fashionable success? The choice is all yours. Don't forget Sloth is a genius, but so am I! -Roxy P.S. Before I forget, bring it on Sloth! Bring it on! I can battle and look good at the same time, what's your excuse?

Dear Roxy: Now that Neoschool is being released, I want to send my pets to school. I know what is best for them, but I'm worried about what they'll think. All of them love reading and learning new things, but what effect will Neoschool have on them? -Concerned Owner

Dear Concerned Owner: I am positive that at Neoschool they will not learn anything they aren't supposed to. Neoschools will be an outlet for them to make new friends, to study and learn, and try new things. It will over all broaden your pet's horizons and is the right thing to do. If you are still worried about sending them to Neoschool, you can always choose to homeschool them. You can educate them at their own pace and monitor the material they learn. Although, homeschooling is an option; you cannot learn a hundred and one uses for dung at home. Some things you just have to learn a Neoschool. You'll make the right decision, just your concern shows that you really care about them. -Roxy

Dear Roxy: I want to paint my Kacheek Striped. Is that a good color for my Kacheek? -Kacheeks Are Cool

Dear Kacheeks Are Cool: I am painted Striped, and I highly recommend it! -Roxy

Dear Sarah: I have this really weird problem. For some reason, I keep calling people by different names! My Neopet Angelica, I um, mean Amelia is trying to help me but nothing that Phoebe, I mean Amelia does is helping! What should I do? -Dana... uh... I mean, Lucy

Dear Dana/Lucy or whatever your name is: First of all, my name is Roxy! Say it with me now, Roxy! Not Sarah. You definitely do have a problem, it's sad when someone can't remember their own name. I suggest getting names tags for all your pets, friends and one maybe for yourself. That way if you forget the name, all you have to do is look at their name tag. I just hope you don't forget how to read. -Roxy (Not Sarah!)

Deer Roxy: Do u know why Snoflake rejected me purfectly written and spull checked by me artical? -Somon who spells goood

Dear Somon Who Spells Good: Even the greatest of reporters has to rely on someone else for spell check. I suggest having one of your friends looking over your article to fix any errors that could appear. Remember, no chat speak in any of your articles! You might want to have them check the grammar, too. Just a suggestion! -Roxy

Dear Roxy: I am currently in the process of furnishing my NeoHome. But I am stumped about what to do! Do you have any tips for decorating your NeoHome on a modest budget? I am not a fan of Mystery Island (Bamboo) or Tyrannian (Dung, Straw, or Stone) furniture, though. -Not In The Zone

Dear Not In The Zone: A total bummer about being stumped in the art of interior decorating. My advice is not to waste all your Neopoints on expensive sofas when you can just buy a bunch of pillows or bean bag chairs to lounge on. They are comfortable and pretty inexpensive. In addition, with the right color schemes a great addition to your NeoHome. Rugs are a great and cheap way to liven up the NeoHome. If you are searching for a cheap bed how about a Regal Oak Wood? They are not only great in taste and well, regal but they are about the same prices as a Bamboo Bed. Those are only a few of the many suggestions I can make, but I suggest going browsing at furniture stores. You can find great buys on the normally expensive items. May the borovan be with you and as you decorate! -Roxy

Dear Roxy: I checked in my Bruce into the Faerie Castle Neolodge for a short vacation. Afterwards, she started ringing a little bell whenever she was hungry. I try to give her food but she turns her nose up at it if it costs less than 10,000 NP. She is getting too skinny. How do I get her back to normal? -A Spoiled Bruce Is Running My Life

Dear A Spoiled Bruce Is Running My Life: Your Bruce has a serious case of Spoiliedous, and you are partly to blame for the disease taking over her body and mind. You let your Bruce take over and did nothing to stop it, now your Bruce believes she is in charge and she's the boss. You're the owner. You are in charge. You need to get your power back. First of all, I would smash that little bell into a million pieces. You aren't her servant, if she wants a servant she can go hire one with her own Neopoints; but you work for no one. Second, a symptom of getting Spoiledous is wanting all the expensive items, I must warn you that expensive isn't always better. Tell your Bruce that she can either enjoy the food you put in front of her or enjoy the fine cuisine at the pound. I am highly against abandoning pets but just the threat will turn your Bruce back to normal. Some times you just need to give your pets some tough love. If she doesn't return back to normal and is still a spoiled brat, I'd consult Fyora herself. If anyone can offer a cure for Spoiliedous, Fyora can. After all, she has to deal with a bunch of bratty Neopets all day at the Hidden Tower. -Roxy

To submit your question/problem to be answered by Roxy, simply send a Neomail to roxycaligirl101. All messages must be appropriate with proper spelling and grammar. Please put the subject as "Dear Roxy." Inappropriate, tasteless, and repeated messages will be deleted, so please don’t waste your and my time. Please don't send problems that have already been solved by Roxy. Due to an overwhelming amount of messages, not all of them can be answered by Roxy. All messages are subjected to editing.

Author’s Note: You can take Roxy's advice or ignore it! Just because she gave you a solution doesn't mean you have to do it. Thanks to all who submitted their problems. May the Borovan be with you!

Other articles in which I offer my advice are Dear Roxy (Issue #105), Roxy Writes Her Advice (Issue #107), and Another Dear Roxy (Issue #110) You can check them out to see what other complicated problems I've solved. -Roxy

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