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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 19th day of Hunting, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 107 > Articles > Roxy Writes Her Advice

Roxy Writes Her Advice

by roxycaligirl101

This is a sequel to Dear Roxy (Issue #105.) Just letting you know if you want to see where it all started.

After publishing my first article offering my valuable advice; I received piles of messages with more and more problems. I decided that one article wasn't enough to help the citizens of Neopia. Another installment was needed to show the world of Neopia my gift of solving problems and offer my advice. I promise as long as there are problems, there will always be my words of wisdom to follow them...

Dear Roxy: Raiders have invaded Terror Mountain and they're taking captives! Where can I find help? - Scared Bruce

Dear Scared Bruce: I am sure glad I am in an office in Catacombs of Neopian Central rather than Terror Mountain. I'm sorry that you are stuck there, rather than here. You should contact Princess Lilac, she defeated the Snow Beasts by herself. She has billions of charts, strategies, and snowballs. I'm sure she will be able to handle those raiders, no problem. Not only is she tough, but she has excellent fashion sense. You can also try the Defenders of Neopia. It comes down to; who would you rather be saved by a well dressed Princess or a bunch of pets who think spandex is still in style? I'd pick Princess Lilac any day. No offense to the Defenders but spandex is so two years ago. -Roxy

Dear Roxy: I have enough Neopoints to buy an Island Paint Brush to paint my Chomby with, but I can't seem to find someone who will accept my offer in the trading post! Do you know anyone who will accept my offer for 450,000 Neopoints? -I Want An Island Paint Brush

Dear I Want An Island Paint Brush: You are making the right decision by wanting to buy an Island Paint Brush, the simple islander look is completely in. Besides that, there isn't much I can tell you except to wait and be patient. I am not an expert on paintbrushes but if your offer is decent, then someone will accept it sooner or later. I advise you do a little research on island paint brush prices and offer the average price. Just keep on offering and don't give up till you get that island paint brush. -Roxy

Dear Roxy: I'm a famous singer, I'd rather not give out my name. There are paparazzi all over the place, personally I don’t really mind, but my siblings and owner find that horribly annoying, what should I do? -Famous Singer

Dear Famous Singer: I am personally thrilled that someone as famous as you claim would come to me for advice. This just shows that famous pets have problems, too. I've had to deal with the paparazzi because of my stunning abilities to resolve situations, I found that a disguise will always do the trick. Before you leave disguise yourself with sunglasses, coat, hat, etc. A handy tool I've found is an Invisihat, you put it on and sneak right by the paparazzi. It comes in a variety of colors, so it is style no matter what season it is. Those paparazzi will do anything to get the pictures they want, I suggest you have extra security around your mansion. In addition, if any of them violate your privacy you have a right to tell the Neopian Police. Everyone deserves a little privacy once in awhile. Your family will just have to understand this is the price one must pay for being famous, you can't really do anything about it. All you can do is understand your rights and if anyone violates them, report them for it. By the way, if this is a member of Sticks N Stones writing, could you please send my sister an autograph? Thanks! -Roxy

Dear Roxy: I am a level 50 Lupe and I am about to have a fight with Punchbag Bob, but I don't want to end up with Punchbag Sid. How can I tell who is Bob and who is Sid? - Fighter In A Jam

Dear Fighter In A Jam: This is probably the simplest problem to solve that I've ever received. Simply just ask them their name. If he hesitates it is Punchbag Sid and if he doesn't it's Punchbag Bob. If you are a level 50, you should be able to beat either of them no problem. I am not sure why you are so worried, just go out there and do your best and that is all you can do. - Roxy

Dear Roxy: Every time I look in my Neomail, all I see are piles of dung people have sent me. It's getting annoying, because the dung smears all over -- I think you get the idea. Is there anyway I can get the people to stop sending the dung to me? -In Need of Deodorant

Dear In Need of Deodorant: Ew! That is so gross, I am sorry that dung is being sent repeatedly to you. Dung can really stain; I hope you have a good laundry detergent. I would suggest you send the dung senders a message asking them why they send you dung and ask them to stop. If they refuse to answer or keep on sending, then fight fire with fire or should I say dung with dung. -Roxy

Dear Roxy: I was playing Geos with my best bud. However, during the game, someone splashed paint all over his Darigan coat, and now he is Faerie. He is not pleased! Do you have any advice on getting him back to his Darigan looks? - Helper who needs help

Dear Helper Who Needs Help- I really don't see why this is so terrible. Your best bud needs to understand that just because the color of coat changed doesn't mean his personality is going to. He's still the same friend before he was painted Faerie. Your best bud will still be your best bud not matter how he looks, and if he isn't than he was never your friend to begin with.

If he is determined to get his look back to Darigan he has a couple of options. He can use a Darigan Paint Brush, which are rather expensive. It could take awhile to save up enough Neopoints to afford one. You can use the Lab Ray, which could change your best friend back to Darigan. The problem with the Lab Ray is that it could also change him to a Robot, a Yellow Kau, a Girl, and the possibilities goes on and on. Make sure your best friend understands all the risks involved with the Lab Ray before he zaps himself. In addition, the pieces of map to the Lap Ray are outrageously priced. Not only will it take several zaps to get your friend back to their regular looks but a long time to save up for the map, too. Your friend can try their luck at the Rainbow Fountain, it never seems to be working but maybe it will be your friend's lucky day. Either way it could take time to get your best friend to return to his normal looks, be supportive and encourage him that he is a fine Faerie and there is nothing wrong with being a male Faerie. Just because he looks a little different doesn't mean he is different on the inside. -Roxy

Dear Roxy: I'm addicted to Brucey B Slots and just yesterday I somehow managed to gamble my life savings of 300,000 NP! Please help me because it's making me poor! -Slots Addict

Dear Slots Addict: With Scorchy, Black Pawkeet, and Brucey B Slots all in service, it's hard to say no to the rush of playing the slots. You have to stop right now, you need to go cold turkey. No more slots ever for you! I suggest staying away from any games that fall under the luck/chance category. You don't want to get addicted and gamble away any more Neopoints. Play games that don't cost any Neopoints to play. I suggest Usuki Frenzy, Meerca Chase, Carnival of Terror, and Extreme Herder. Those are only a few of many that can help you on your path to recovery and earning back your life savings. -Roxy

To submit your question/problem to be answered by Roxy, simply send a Neomail to roxycaligirl101. All messages must be appropriate and use proper spelling and grammar. Please put the subject as "Dear Roxy." Inappropriate and tasteless messages will be deleted, so please don’t waste your and my time. Due to an overwhelming amount of messages, not all of them can be answered by Roxy. All messages are subjected to editing.

Author’s Note: This is all in fun! Take Roxy’s advice at your own risk! A huge thanks to everyone who submitted their problems to be solved by Roxy. Thanks for reading & may the Borovan be with you!

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