"I don't like it. It's staring at me," I argued with my
owner, Alice.
"Those are just seeds," she replied, slightly
aggravated, "It's not alive or anything! It's just a Funnydew Melon. And that
Funnydew Melon is your dinner, Lori, so you'd better eat it up, or I expect
you'll be very hungry tonight!"
I stubbornly replied, "Nu-uh. Look at it! Stare
into its evil seed eyes!" I then held up the melon for my owner to see, who
was sitting across the table. My hands barely wrapped around the melon, since
being a Korbat, I had tiny hands, and being painted baby didn't help any.
My owner just sighed and rolled her eyes. I
guess it was because I was known to do things like this a lot.
"You know Aunt Alice, it is kind of odd." My
quirky, brainy, and also slightly crazy, cousin Saffron piped up, her head cocked
and yellow Usul ears twitching interestedly. She was holding her already partially
eaten Funnydew Melon up to eye level and staring at it. Since her owner was
on an archeological dig in Tyrannia, she was staying with us for the summer.
"It really does stare back at you! Lori's got a point. Maybe Funnydew Melon
really is alive. They may not be safe to eat! I'll have to confiscate these
and run some tests on them in my lab!" With that said, she took a gigantic plastic
bag and a pair of tongs from the pocket of her lab coat, which she always wore,
no matter what the weather. She then carefully picked up her slice of melon
with the tongs and placed it in the bag. For supporting evidence, she also grabbed
both my owner and my own piece of melon and placed them in the bag, sealing
it tightly.
"Duty calls!" she said heroically, punching one
of her stubby arms up in the air and then dramatically pulling her goggles down
over her eyes from atop her head. With a salute, she then skittered with odd
march-like steps down the stairs. Her final destination I knew was the basement,
which she had converted into her own personal laboratory for the summer.
"Wait up for me!" I called out after her. "I'm
in on anything that will bring destruction to those melons!" With a great amount
of effort, I lifted myself up into the air.
"Doesn't anyone ask to be excused anymore?"
I heard Alice question herself as I flew down the stairs.
Actually, even though I didn't know it at the
time, I technically wasn't flying. I was being carried by an extremely strong
draft from the open window behind me. My wings just helped me to soar, like
a kite. Unfortunately, this draft made me run straight into the basement door
just as Saffron closed it behind her.
Rubbing my head, I regained my upright position
and opened the door to the laboratory.
Right here and now, there's something you need
to know about Saffron. This is that she is crazy for bottles of blue sand. Not
bottles of red sand, not bottles or black or red sand, bottles of blue sand.
So, when I opened the door, bottles of blue
sand were exactly what I saw. Hundreds of thousands of them lined the walls
from floor to ceiling, while millions more were scattered on the floor and on
the tables which held Saffron's laboratory equipment. Besides bottles of blue
sand, there were what had to be thousands of experiments going on all at once.
All around were bubbling concoctions and other stuff that looked like it belonged
in an evil scientist's laboratory.
At the moment I walked in, Saffron was checking
on her Sock-Eating-Bottle-Of-Blue-Sand-Burping-Bad-Seed, which was exactly what
it sounds like. It was a bad seed, which eat socks, which Saffron somehow figured
would allow it to burp up bottles of blue sand if it ate enough socks.
I had absolutely no idea how Saffron figured
things like that, but since she was the one with the lab, not me, I figured
all her theories -- even though they were crazy- were correct.
I then noticed Saffron had set the Funnydew
Melon on one of the few open spaces on the table, next to the Sock-Eating-Bottle-Of-Blue-Sand-Burping-Bad-Seed.
"Hi Saffron!" I piped up eagerly, "Watcha' doing!"
"Gaaah!" she replied, and immediately started
pushing me out the door, "Out, out, out!" She then firmly slammed the door behind
me.
Pouting, I trudged back up the stairs. Saffron
sure could be pushy sometimes- literally!
I went up to my room and flopped down on my
beauty bed. Staring up at the ceiling, which was a pearl pink, I noticed a crack
on it looked exactly like a rainbow stretching across the sky. That's when I
remembered why I'd chosen that room for my own. It was because when I was little,
I was really scared of the dark. My owner said I wouldn't be afraid to go to
sleep anymore because the rainbow would always be watching over me. With a silent
giggle, I closed my eyes. Thinking of my rainbow, I unknowingly drifted off
to sleep.
***
"Lori, Lori, wake up!" Saffron whispered urgently as she shook me awake. "Come
down to my lab and see what I've found out!"
I nodded, amazed that she'd actually asked me
to go into her precious lab, and we hurried down the stairs to the lab. Once
we were in, she led me over to a glass container with air holes poked into it.
"Look!" she exclaimed, holding up the container.
There, inside, was a Funnydew Melon. But it wasn't an ordinary one. It was blinking
and moving around! "It's alive!" she squeaked, "I've named him Seedy!"
I just stood there my mouth wide open. How
could this be possible? I thought. Funnydew Melons aren't really alive…
are they?
Smiling Saffron explained to me, "All I had
to do was add a couple of chemicals here and there, a little heat, and BAM!
A living, breathing Funnydew Melon! This will change the world of Neopia forever!"
"How?" I asked, coming back to my senses, "By
introducing an edible friend? Remember the last time somebody tried that, he
was devoured by the Jelly Chia and never found again!"
"No, silly!" she said, grinning widely, "Imagine!
Funnydew Melons dominating Neopia! I've done some tests, and this melon is stronger
than the strongest Neopets! Swift and clever, I could conquer the world, no
the entire universe, with these things!"
"You wouldn't do that though, would you?" I
inquired nervously.
"Of course not!" she giggled, "I'll just keep
Seedy as a companion! We'll be the best of friends!"
Little did Saffron know, under that oddly adorable
exterior, that melon was the ultimate evil! Each and every seed in it was set
on one goal… destruction!
It was then she said something that would lead
to one of her biggest mistakes, "I'm gonna let him out!"
I nodded, and looked intently as she unscrewed
the lid. She picked the melon up and held it in her hand. "Aren't you a cute
little -- Ow!" Seedy had jumped up and bitten her nose. He then hopped off her
hand and out through the window.
"Oh no!" she cried, "What have I done! I have
created evil!"
I was still clueless and had no idea what was
going on. What Saffron had just realized, that I apparently hadn't, is that
this was one bad melon. She also knew, somehow, where it was headed -- the Neopian
Testing Laboratory.
"Come on!" she said taking my paw and dragging
me quickly out the of the basement. "We've got to stop it from destroying all
of Neopia!"
It was then I kind of realized what was going
on.
"Alice!" I shouted just as Saffron was dragging
me out the front door. "Be back in a bit, and don't eat any Funny Dew melon
before we save Neopia from them!"
I then slammed the door behind as Saffron pulled
me away from the house, now running at a pretty high speed.
"Where's Seedy going?" I inquired, wheezing.
"To the Neopian Testing Laboratory," she informed
me as we continued running down the street.
***
It didn't take long for us to get to the Laboratory, since we lived nearby.
We rushed in through the heavy metal doors, able to get in only because the
melon had knocked out the guard. Who new melons could be so powerful?
It was then we saw a sight I hoped I'd never
ever see -- thousands and thousands of Funnydew Melons.
"Aaack!" Saffron screamed. "It must have used
the cloning machine they keep in here!"
We then continued on, desperately trying to
reach the cloning machine. We ran straight through the army of melons, and I
imagine looked quite disgusting, covered with melon strings and seeds and such.
These clones, apparently, weren't nearly as strong as the original.
In a matter of minutes, we had reached the cloning
machine. It was made mostly of cold, hard steel, and lots of pretty, flashing
buttons. I tired to count all the different colors, but my thoughts were interrupted
as Saffron shouted, up to what seemed to be a chamber in the middle of the machine,
guarded by heavy, iron doors, "Come out of there, Seedy, we know you're in there!"
"I know," a scary voice replied. The doors concealing
the chamber in the middle of the machine opened up. There stood Seedy with a
red velvet cloak draped around\d his shoulders.
"Automatic doors," I said, tilting my head to
one side, "nice evil touch!"
"Thanks, imbecile," Seedy replied, a smug smile
composed of seeds upon his face.
"Gaaah!" I screeched, suddenly realizing he
could speak. "He must have used some sort of machine in here to make him be
able to talk!"
Smirking, he replied, "That's right, Korbat"
Pointing her finger menacingly at Seedy, Saffron
heroically proclaimed, "We will put an end to your evil plan! Good shall always
prevail over evil like yourself and -- all your -- other selves!"
Saffron sure knows how to ruin a heroic line.
"Muhahahahaha!" Seedy chuckled evilly. "Attack,
my brothers!"
Then, the Funnydew Melons that we hadn't bashed
through, all rushed in and attacked at once. Oddly, or, at least, it seemed
odd at the time, they all attacked Saffron, not myself. Looking back on it,
I suppose I didn't seem much of a threat.
"Help!" she screamed desperately, reaching her
arm up which was soon covered by melons like the rest of her.
Then, Seedy jumped down and landed in front
of me. "You," he said, circling around me, "you gave her the idea. This is all
your fault! You gave her the idea, and now look what you've done. All of Neopia
is doomed! Thank you oh so much."
I was terrified -- and when terrified, I get
hungry. And when I'm hungry, I'll eat anything edible. So, I ate. I reached
my neck forward and took a big bite out of Seedy.
"Aaaah!" he screamed. I took this momentary
of distraction to look over to where Saffron was covered from head to toe with
melons. I then noticed that all the melons had chunks missing out of them, just
like Seedy! So, an idea planted in my mind. I took another bite. And another...
and another… and another. Soon, all that was left of Seedy, and all the other
melons, were their hard, outer shell thingies (I still haven't figured out what
those things are called!).
"You saved us!" Saffron cried, running over
to me and clinging tightly to me, "You saved Neopia!"
"Yum!" I exclaimed, licking my fingers, oblivious
to everything around me, "Funnydew Melon doesn't taste so bad after all!"
***
It turns out Saffron and myself got in really big trouble with the Neopian
Testing Laboratory. Between the damage the melons and ourselves had done, we'd
broken all of their equipment. Figures! To repay them, they are now conducting
their experiments in Saffron's lab in the basement until they have enough funding
for new equipment.
Despite that, I got a medal for saving Neopia
from the Defenders of Neopia. Really though, the only thing that's changed since
then is that now, Funnydew Melon is my favorite food!
So, that's what happened when the Funnydew Melons
attacked. I sure learned a valuable lesson that day -- eat your food, don't
experiment on it!
The End
Note: All characters in this story are fictional. Thanks for reading; I
hoped you enjoyed my story! Feel free to Neomail me with any questions or comments
you may have!
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