|
Keet: *sigh* Welcome to the final episode of the Paperclip Show.
Sam: *rolls eyes* Drama queen. This is the show where our two horribly
menacing hosts kidnap famous Neopian characters and coerce them into spitting
their most guarded secrets.
Keet: Yes. Yes we do. But no evil laughter today. Anyway, today's guests
are...*takes deep breath* the Jelly Chia, Jhudora, Adam, Quinton, Amanmet, Talia,
Darigan, the Snowager, King Coltzan's Ghost, Edna the witch, and... ME?
Sam: Hmmph. Who cares to ask you a question and not me?
Keet: Only crazy people.
Sam: That's for sure. Okay guys, bring 'em out!
A group of four pets in ski masks drags out a bag entitled "TPCS Ep. 6 Guests
Powder - Just add water." They dump out the silvery powder and dribble a drop
of water onto the mound. With a loud *pop*, the powder magically turns into
a bunch of guests in chairs.
Keet: O.O Gotta get me some o' that! Funny, that doesn't look like Adam...
Sam: It's not. He was too busy, so he sent that automated robot in his
place. Anyway, our first question of the day is for the Jelly Chia, from ajcrit.
"Are you edible? I love jelly. It's good. Especially on toast."
Jelly Chia: *slosh, sluggle, grishp*
Keet: Ick. He's all... woovely. But I bet he'd be mighty tasty with
peanut butter. The next question is asked by jackblack371 of Adam. "How is it
that these New Worlds With all kinds of stuff in them suddenly just pop out
of the Ground? Is it a conspiracy?"
Adam-Bot: Jelly World? Hahaha! There's no such thing as Jelly World!
Sam: Huh? That wasn't the question!
Adam-Bot: Donna smells!
Keet: Dude, this is so not cool. *pulls hanging rope*
A trap doors opens beneath the Adam Robot, plunging it into a never-ending
abyss. The sound of "All your base are belong to us!" is the last thing heard
from it as it fades away into the blackness.
Sam: That was actually pretty cool.
Keet: I must admit that it really was.
Other guests: *nod and agree*
Sam: The next question is from faerie67698 to Jhudora. "Jhudora, why
do you want people to do quests for you? Can't you do magic and make them appear
out of thin air?"
Jhudora: Insolent humans, I will destroy this puny world and rebuild
from its ashes a new world, of which I will be Supreme Ruler, and control you
you all as the Almighty Queen of the Earth that you will all bow down to!
Keet: Almighty Queen of the Earth? More like Almighty Queen of run-on
sentences. Jays! I'd better ask the next one before she catches her breath and
resumes the rant. From silver_bumbliebee to the Snowager, "Do you have any Usukis?
And if so, do you ever play with them? And if you do, why do you scare everybody
away? You won't have anybody to play with! Who's gonna play Mary-Jo the Flight
Attendant!?!"
Snowager: *rumbles angrily* I play Mary-JO! I play them all! Mickey
the Prom Date, Stephanie the cheerleader, Lila the hairstylist, Tria the mermaid--
Sam: What a girl!
Keet: *snicker* He plays with Usukis. I bet he even went to Usuki-Con!
Snowager: *sniffles* Maybe...
Sam: ...Right. Moving on to a less feminine guest, the ghost of King
Coltzan! Mastero17 asks, "When Sam or Keet pulls that rope and a door opens
under you, what happens? You won't fall 'cause you defy gravity, being a ghost
and all, and nothing fatal will affect you because you're already dead."
Coltzan's Ghost: I AM INVINCIBLE!
Keet: No way! Nothing can defy the illogic of my rope! Let's just see
what happens...*pulls rope*
A large vacuum appears out of nowhere. Its switch flips to on, and sucks
up the ghost of King Coltzan.
Sam: ...Ooooooooh.
Coltzan's Ghost: *from inside vacuum* Let me out of here!
Keet: No way! I've gotten nothing but glowing hands, spine shivers,
and gusty winds from your blasted Shrine for over a week! I demand dubloons!
Sam: Keet, let's negotiate the terms of his release after the
show. There's still more questions. Like this one from hermione70726 to Edna
the witch: "Do you think that it is embarrassing being a Zafara? Have you ever
thought about mixing a potion to turn you back? And I would just like to say
that I am a big fan of you and your work."
Edna the witch: Hmmm, well it's not so bad. At least now I can mingle
easily in crowds, unlike before when I was a woman with a three inch nose and
a pointy hat.
Keet: Yes, warty Zafaras are quite common in Neopia.
Sam: Ever been to the Haunted Woods?
Keet: *shudder* Speaking of places no one in their right mind would
want to live, this is a question for Darigan about his Citadel. Sky_hi_sci_fi
asks the despotic Korbat, "My pets hate your guts. And so do I. What is it like
to be hated by everyone who wasn't on your side in the war?"
Darigan: Oh, dreadful, really. I didn't want to war with the
Neopet population of Neopia, but I just had to get my Orb back. I really do
like Neopets, truly. Although I do harbor just a *touch* of animosity towards
Jetsams now...
Sam: Imagine that. *looks at watch* Hm, running low on time. Let's speed
things up, shall we? Lupepeogra asks Talia, "Okay, why do you live in Terror
Mountain if it is always too cold to go shopping for ingredients? That coat
looks warm enough..."
Talia: *shrug* If you don't like it, tough.
Keet: :-D I like her. Now chia625_2001 asks of Quinton, "How do you
clip on your 'Veg' Badge without hurting yourself?"
Quinton: Well, Quiggles have a tough rubbery outer skin. I don't even
feel the pin, and -- hey! *flicks Sam's approaching hand away with his tongue*
Don't try to poke me!
Sam: >O Feel my wrath, evil vegetable Quiggle! *pulls rope and a bunch
of fingers appear out of nowhere and start poking Quinton*
Quinton: HEEEEELP!
Other guests: *look around nervously*
Edna the witch: If he expires of pokey-poke syndrome, can I make Quiggle
Pie out of him?
Keet: Only if you share.
Edna the witch: Deal.
Sam: o.O;; Nothing like good old fashioned Quiggle Pie, right? So, erm...*eyes
question card oddly* Keet, a little help here? *shows card to Keet*
Keet: What, you forgot how to read? *looks at card* O.O Oh. Erm...*whispers
something to Sam*
Sam: Right, then. We seem to have come across a dilemma. We can't figure
out who this Amanmet sumnersam1212 asks about is. But I'll read the question
to, um, it anyway. "Are you in any way the Jelly Chia in disguise?"
Amanmet: ??? ?? ?????? ???! ? ?????? ?? ?? ??????? ?? ?????, ????????.
Keet: Ah. Well, time to ask the final question of the show, none from
me and Sam this time. Too lazy. This one is for... um, me. Pvkneverdies asks,
"Did you know that there's a -Nimmo- named after your account?"
Sam: Heh, Nimmo.
Keet: Hey! That's not fair! I should own that Nimmo then. Except if
I owned it, it would be a skunk Krawk because those are cool and whatever has
*my* name has to be made cool.
Sam: Okee dokey. That about wraps up this, the last -- and worst
-- episode of the Paperclip Show. It's been... fun.
Keet: Stupid Nimmo. And the only fun part was the rope pulling. And
making fun of Sloth. And everyone else. And knocking over the sunset. Oh wait,
that was off camera. Heh heh...
Sam: Well, we'd just like to say thanks to all our readers who have
given us many compliments on our terrible piece of work here. And the people
who sent in questions that made the show more than just a "let's all sit here
in awkward silence" one.
Keet: And double thanks to Hika and Doodles. And also many thanks to
my co-partner Sam, for tolerating all the weird stuff around here.
Sam: And Blink for filling in once.
Keet: And my pets for kidnapping the guests.
Sam: And air for giving us stuff to breathe.
Keet: And Vegan Cheese for its cameo back in episode four.
Sam: And -- shoot, out of time.
The TV screen suddenly goes to the fuzzy snow stuff. The Paperclip Show
marathon is over. What an afternoon, eh?
| 
