|DARIGAN'S CITADEL - A few days ago, I decided to pay a visit to the prisoners
in Darigan's Citadel. Plate of cookies in hand, I slipped into the citadel almost
unnoticed. Any guards who opposed my presence were promptly given a cookie, and
I briskly moved forward with utmost stealth towards the dungeon, the guards munching
on cookies like highly amused four year olds. I was lucky; I had arrived before
the daily feeding of the prisoners, when a few of Darigan's many minions would
bring in the mud-like gruel that the prisoners would hungrily scarf down. The
prison guards Galgarrath and Haskol lay on the ground in deep sleep, and I quickly
spotted the first cell. I cautiously walked over and slipped a cookie through
the iron bars of the cell. I began to speak in a low whisper so not to wake up
"What is your name?" I asked, a smile gracing my face.
The prisoner only stomped his foot 5 times, and left me completely baffled.
"His name's Clomp," said a voice from another cell. "We're not really sure
what his real name is, but we call all 'im Clomp. He only stomps his feet. We
think one stomp means yes, two means no, and three means he's hungry."
"Oh," I said as I pulled out a pad and pencil, knowing I would have to stick
to yes or no questions. "Well, um, Clomp, do you like it here?"
I nearly slapped myself for asking such a stupid question; of course he didn't
like it, and sure enough I heard his hoof hit the floor twice. I was quickly
running out of ideas, and I knew this would be difficult.
"Is Darigan currently planning on conquering Neopia?" I asked, hoping for
some sort of answer, but the Moehog remained silent.
It appeared the Moehog was far too smart to divulge any secrets, as I had
suspected he would be.
Deciding that asking any further questions was useless, I walked over to the
next cell, which contained a Korbat hanging from the ceiling by a chain, his
body wrapped in what appeared to be a straight-jacket. His appearance was quite
frightful, and the look on his face reflected that of a person who was not mentally
sound. I withheld a cookie from the Korbat, afraid of what might ensue if I
did give him one. I started with the same question as I did the last prisoner.
"What is your name?" I asked warmly, as not to sound as though I could tell
he was not normal.
"Barallus calls himself Barallus," responded the Korbat, as his eyes became
the size of dinner plates, scanning the room as though he thought something
was going to jump out of the shadows and consume him.
"Well, Barallus, what was your role in the war before you were captured and
taken prisoner by Darigan?" I questioned, hoping that he would answer.
"Barallus was a fighter of extreme power," answered Barallus in a nervous
voice. "Darigan felt Barallus was dangerous to his plan, so Darigan captured
I stared at Barallus confusedly. He was referring to himself in the third
person. I didn't even want to think about what caused him to lose his mind like
"So Darigan felt you were a threat, did he?" I asked again, taking down what
he said word for word.
"Darigan?" panicked the small Korbat as he hung from the ceiling. "Where?
Where is Darigan? Barallus greatly fears Darigan!"
"Darigan is not here," I soothed, trying to hush the disturbed pet.
"HELP ME!!!" the Korbat screamed as he shook uncontrollably. "BARALLUS MUST
I felt that I had disturbed the insane Korbat enough, and moved on to the
next cell, my notepad already filled with several pages of notes. I noticed
a Kacheek who seemed to leave all of his food to rot. I offered him a cookie,
but he quickly crumbled it. I could tell something was not quite right about
this prisoner either.
"What would your name be?" I asked gently, not wanting to repeat my disaster
"Can't sleep, Skeiths will eat me!!!" the Kacheek yelped as he rocked back
and forth in a fetal position.
"Squire Meekel." I heard a voice call to me from down the dimly lit hallway,
only to realize it was Haskol talking in his sleep.
I assumed his name must be Squire Meekel, and hoped I wasn't just being oblivious.
For all I knew, the prisoners were wearing large name tags with their names
in bold, black letters. I lowered my voice to a whisper, as not to cause any
further shrieking from Barallus.
"So, what is Darigan's purpose for you?" I inquired as I placed the led of
my pencil on the pad of paper.
Squire Meekel was still shaking on the floor, and I could only hope he was
shivering from cold in the non-heated room. It began to dawn upon me that all
the prisoners in this cold, dark dungeon had slowly lost their minds. I wanted
more information before I had to leave this dismal place, and I hoped desperately
that I might reveal an emerging evil plot.
"CAN'T SLEEP, Skeiths will eat me!!!" cried the distressed Kacheek a second
At that point, I was so frustrated I wanted to hit my head against the stone
wall of the dungeon until I lost consciousness. I felt like my interviews were
going nowhere. All I wanted was to dig up some information about any evil schemes
Darigan had. I was completely convinced Darigan had not been defeated for good,
and all the information I had received was that Darigan had some sort of plot
up his sleeve, which left me at square one. I decided it was worth a try to
press Meekel for more information, considering the fact he seemed to have more
sanity than most of the prisoners held captive within the citadel. I tried to
retain composure, finding it very difficult not to become angry, and longed
to yell at the Kacheek for being a complete nutcase.
"So, what are you in for?" I queried, trying to keep eye contact with Meekel
as his eyes seemed to be searching for a non-existent escape route.
"CAN'T SLEEP, SKEITHS WILL EAT ME!!!" Squire Meekel shrieked as he began to
fling himself against the thick iron bars of his cell.
I was now truly afraid of what was coming next. With every interview, the
prisoners had become stranger and stranger, and I was completely bewildered.
My pace slowed as I continued down the winding hallways of the dungeon, hoping
that there weren't any more prisoners. The next cell was occupied by a yellow
Chia, who surprisingly, looked very sane. My lips curved into a smile as I looked
at the pet playing tic-tac-toe on the dust-enshrouded floor. My feet came to
a stop as I picked a cookie up off the plate, and handed it to the Chia.
"Thanks, at least SOMEBODY cares that I was the first to try and destroy that
evil, cruel, ugly… uh, I mean Darigan," pouted the Chia as he hungrily munched
at the cookie. "I'm the Yellow Knight."
"The Yellow Knight?" I asked with a look of befuddlement on my face.
"I'm the Green Knight's brother… why doesn't anybody know who I am?" whined
the Yellow Knight as he wallowed in his own self-pity.
"Why'd you decide to--" I started to say, only to be cut off by a nasal and
"I actually STARTED the war… not some stupid, low, moronic… " the Yellow Knight
continued to complain as though I was not even present.
I let out a sigh, and rolled my eyes. And I had thought HE was normal. My
ears could still faintly hear his ranting as I attempted to tune him out.
"Ahem," I coughed as the Chia became silent. "Well then, why did Darigan capture
you?" I began to ask, though I was really wondering why all the prisoners were
so creepy. Then again, they WERE Darigan's prisoners after all, but I doubted
any amount of torture could've turned anyone that weird.
"AND they didn't even bother to give me a lousy T-shirt!!!!" continued the
Yellow Knight, in an extremely annoying and whiny voice.
"Oh STUFF IT!" I yelled as I stomped off in a fluster, completely exasperated.
I couldn't believe the nerve of that Chia, whining and complaining at me when
I had a story to uncover. SHEESH!
I finally reached the last prisoner, an old Lupe with the oddest look on his
"Well," I said, a bit of fatigue in my voice as I spoke. "Where did you come
from before the war?"
"JELLY WORLD!" cackled the Lupe as he looked into my eyes.
I began to shake with laughter at the prisoner's outrageous comments.
"JELLY WORLD DOES EXIST!!!" yelled the old Lupe loud enough for all of Meridell
I continued to shake with laughter as Prisoner Five continued to rant on and
on about the existence of Jelly World.
"What, are you kidding me?" I scoffed at him as he began to describe Jelly
World in great detail. "Everybody knows Jelly World doesn't exist!!!"
At that point, I could no longer withhold my laughter. I fell to the ground
laughing at the crazy old Lupe and his stories.
"Hahahahaha!!!" I laughed as I beat the ground with my fists; tears streaming
down my face. "A giant jelly... jelly food... THAT'S HILARIOUS!!!"
"JELLY WORLD DOES EXIST!!!!" insisted the insane old Lupe as I lay on the
floor laughing. "And that giant jelly has enough jelly to stop world hunger!"
"Yeah, and Snorkles fly!" I giggled as I picked up my plate from the dusty
brick floor and walked off towards the dungeon's exit.
My laughter ceased, and I began to examine my notes carefully for any hint
of a story. I stared at my pad of paper and slowly realized my only discovery…
Darigan's prisoners were completely crazy.