Princess Fernypoo: Spoiled Brat or Simply Misunderstood?
COFFEE SHOP- “Young and spoilt, Princess Fernypoo is not accustomed to losing.
Back home in her castle anyone who offended her was immediately thrown into the
This is the critical description of Princess Fernypoo, Cheat! Player and Heiress
to the throne, on the back of her very own Collectable Card. She doesn’t sound
very agreeable does she? In fact, it’s rare for anyone to ever say something pleasant
about the Princess, but nobody has ever had evidence to support the claims laid
at her door. I thought it was about time that Princess Fernypoo had a chance to
defend herself, so when she agreed to do this exclusive interview, we were extremely
eager. It is time to find out the truth: is the Princess a hot-headed drama queen,
or simply an innocent, misunderstood Acara?
We had arranged to meet (by Neomail, of course) in the Coffee Shop at the
Neopian Art & Literature Centre, at 10 NST. At 11:30 NST Princess Fernypoo finally
strolled in, surrounded by seven burly Grarrl bodyguards. She did, as usual,
look rather stunning. The beautiful sparkling blue eyes, the elegant pink dress,
the glittering tiara and the warm, innocent smile- surely she can’t be as bad
as she’s supposed to be, can she?
“Err… hello,” I stammered (yes I, arden_starr, exclusive interview to many
celebrity Neopets, nervous!).
“Hello,” Princess Fernypoo said, glancing around at the Coffee Shop. “A bit
scruffy here, isn’t it? Goodness, what commoners…”
“Ahem,” I coughed, more confident now. “Yes, Princess Fernypoo, please take
a seat. Is it really necessary for all these guards?”
“Yes, very,” she answered, sitting daintily on her wooden chair. “It is for
my safety, Miss Starr.”
Twenty minutes later, the coffee had been ordered, after much pondering by
the princess (“Earl Grey Tea is rather nice… but oh! Kaubuggle Mocha is one
of my favourites! But Pinanna Cappuccino looks ravishing…”), and I decided to
begin my interview.
At the tender age of fourteen, you’re one of the best at the card game,
Cheat!, in the whole of Neopia. But do you think being younger makes it harder
for you to succeed?
Princess : Well, at first it was harder, because people always underestimated
me. I was always scorned; people thought I was just a spoilt rich girl. But
I proved them wrong; because I am now an extremely successful Cheat! player.
Many of your competitors have quoted you as having, “a quick temper and
great arrogance”. What do you have to say about these claims?
Princess : Personally, I think they’re just jealous. It is true I do
get a little heated at times, but if you are passionate about Cheat! then that
is completely natural. Branston the Eyrie is just the same.
Speaking of Branston, what do you think of the other Cheat! players?
Princess Fernypoo : I suppose some of them are okay, but no better
than average. Most of them are really nasty to me, and they ignore me when I
ask for important things. It really is vital that I have Neocola 24/7.
You are currently second in the table, am I right? Spectre the Jetsam
is in first place. What do you think of him?
Princess : I know what you’re thinking! You’re thinking he’s better
than me, aren’t you? Well, he’s not. I can beat him any day. He only won on
But isn’t it true you have competed against him seven times and lost every
Princess : If you shut your mouth, I’ll have you thrown in the moat!
[For the next ten minutes, Princess Fernypoo was inconsolable, throwing
her Banana cream Coffee at the walls and shouting and screaming in a vile temper.
It was only after the kind Shopkeeper offered her more Coffee as well as biscuits
that she calmed down enough to continue the interview.]
Your parents are very famous. Do you hope to follow in their footsteps?
Princess : *still a little teary* Um... yes, yes, definitely.
Being the world Cheat! Champion is my biggest ambition, but being the Queen
is definitely second. I am sure I will make a brilliant Queen, as I have all
the qualities necessary: ambition, patience, kindness, authority, intelligence,
beauty… [at this point I lost track as the Princess went on for several
Rumour has it that you have had disagreements with your father, the King.
Is there truth in this?
Princess : Yes, we have quarrelled in the past, and I have left home
in the castle. But all is forgiven now, and my Daddy buys me beautiful furniture
for my NeoHome instead.
Is it also true that he paid people to lose to you, so that you would always
Princess : *in a rage* HOW DARE YOU!!! I AM INSULTED! I have
never heard so much nonsense in my life! You will be thrown in the moat Miss
Starr! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I am going to go home to Daddy right this instant,
and he will have you THROWN IN THE MOAT! I am leaving!
[Unfortunately, the interview ended here. Princess Fernypoo’s eyes had
gone red with rage, her once- sleek fur was now standing on end, and her mouth
was contorted into a sneer of malice. She left with her Grarrl guards, still
shrieking and screaming at the top of her voice.]
Well, it seems that Princess Fernypoo really is a spoilt brat… but
to her good points, she does have great ambition, and seems very determined.
Despite her temper, I am sure the Princess will go far in Cheat! because of
this, though it remains to be seen whether she will be made Queen in the future.
Perhaps her parents should have been slightly stricter with her. Well, this
is where I, Miss Starr, celebrity reporter, leaves you. If you excuse me, I
am going into hiding… I’ve never really liked swimming, particularly in moats.