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NEOMAIL - Never did I imagine that this topic of questions from the ‘rare breed’
would be so popular among Neopians. It seems as though many more Neopians than
I had originally thought, have had their share of encounters with the ‘rare
breed’ as well. Some have related their experiences to me. Others have let me
know how excited they are to have their first real encounter with the ‘rare
breed’. Most have encouraged me to write more about the ‘rare breed’ of Neopians.
So here is the follow up to Neopian’s Guide to the Unthinkable, Yet Asked
Questions.
After doing a bit more research into the behavior patterns of the ‘rare breed’,
I’ve discovered a few more ways they may try to communicate with others. Plus,
they have come up with a few twists on some old questions. Once again, the ‘rare
breed’ will amaze you with their ways of logic and methods of madness.
Below are more examples of questions / comments and answers to alert you to
the ‘rare breed’ of Neopian.
Question: ‘I’m poor. Will you give me Neopoints?’ ~ This is the more
aggressive of the ‘rare breed’ Neomails. Unlike with asking for items, they
are choosing to request Neopoints. Almost always, they will give you a ‘reason’
they need the NP. If they are really showing their colors, they may even tell
you that their pet needs a special operation that is beyond their means to provide
for.
Answer: To answer this ‘rare breeds’ Neomail,
you need a delicate touch as to not disturb them too much. Again, unlike items,
you can not simply tell them to bow down to the free stuff master. You must
gently inform them that there isn’t a snowballs chance anywhere in the southern
regions that they will get NP from you. Then advise them that there are games
among various other ways on this site in which they can gain all the NP they
want.
Question: ‘Can I have (item) to be your Neofriend? Or I’ll be your Neofriend
if you give me (item).” ~ Now here we can gain a bit of insight into the logic
of this ‘rare breed’. They are basically letting you know that should you want
to buy a friend, they are available for the job. At a very reasonable cost,
I’m sure.
Answer: Again, we need to move cautiously
as to not offend this ‘rare breed’. One way to respond back is to say something
to the effect of, “Thank you for the offer, but I’m really not that desperate
for Neofriends right now.”
Question: ‘You look like a very generous person. So I’ve chosen you
to donate items/NP to me!’ ~ What a treat you have if you’ve been Neomailed
by this ‘rare breed’. They are very clever. In fact, they may be the cleverest
of their kind. Their logic is just astounding. They are letting you know that
it is quite the honor to be able to empty your pockets and safety deposit box
for them! Oh what lucky things we are!
Answer: As many of us have been taught,
we should always be gracious when responding to an honor given to us. Especially
in this case where this ‘rare breed’s’ feathers can be easily ruffled. There
are a couple of ways that you can respond to this. One way would be, “Thank
you so much for this opportunity. However I can not accept it because I am not
deserving of such an honor.” Or you can choose to respond something like this,
“I’m so sorry if I gave you the impression of generosity. I’ll have to fix that
right away!”
Question: ‘As long as you’re giving to the money tree, can you give
to me instead?’ ~ A most helpful request from the helpful ‘rare breed’ is what
we have here. This is a creative way for them to point out that they are saving
you from that very long trek to the money tree by giving them over your donations
instead. The cautions about this is the ‘rare breed’ usually wants something
better or more than what you gave to the money tree.
Answer: A simple, yet effective method of
handling this is to tell them, “Thanks for saving me the extra trip. But I need
the exercise.” If they still persist, let them know that you are closed but
the money tree is always open.
Question: ‘How did you get the NP to paint your pets?’ ~ Another one
of their ‘obvious’ questions. This one may be a bit different though. In fact,
there may be a twist involved for a future request. So always be on your guard.
Answer: As much as you may want to share
an ‘obvious’ answer, try to keep it short and sweet. Most of the ‘rare breed’
actually know about ways to earn NP within Neopia. However, they may be trying
to find a ‘new’ way to gain what they are looking for. Such as asking you for
it. Try responding something like, “I earned the NP by playing games and things
on the site.” Be prepared for them to write you back with a possible request.
Question: ‘Will you go and look at my shop?’ ~ As you can see, this
is a ‘rare breed’ in training. You can usually find the young ‘rare breed’ by
their ‘sneaky’ requests. Most of the time, they do not want you to ‘look’ at
their shop. They want you to go and buy that 10,000 NP dung they have sitting
in there. Their hope is that you discover that you can’t live without that piece
of dung and decide to buy it off them. It is a simple yet tricky way to ask
for NP without actually having to come out and say what they want.
Answer: Being that many of us are already
advanced in our dealings with the ‘rare breed’, this would be an easy response
to make. Depending on your personality or mood, you can go take a look at their
shop. One way to avoid a confrontation is to let them know that their shop looks
wonderful! Praise them and compliment them on their shop style. This basically
answers their request and lets them know that their little ‘play’ didn’t succeed.
Do be prepared for them to make a possible bold request in the future.
Question: ‘If you give me (items/NP), I will tell you where the secret
world is / how to become a Neomillionaire / etc.’ ~ After the initial shock
of receiving this Neomail from this evil ‘rare breed’, you come to realize that
their intention is to take advantage of you. In essence, they are counting on
you being totally brainless and/or clueless. They will usually pray on Newbies
or young Neopians who don’t realize how evil this particular species of ‘rare
breed’ is.
Answer: Being that this particular ‘rare
breed’ has passed right by beg and moved into trying to scam a fellow Neopian,
you can be as open as you would like. Try not to use a battle of wits because
they may be unarmed. Therefore it would not be a fair fight. Just Neomail them
and let them know that you already know all the places there are in Neopia,
including staff world where you will now send a copy of their Neomail too. Make
sure to report them to abuse@neopets.com because some Neopians may not be as
lucky to recognize this evil ‘rare breed’.
Question: ‘I know you already gave to me before, but can I have this
(item) now?’ ~ Ahhh, this is the repeat ‘rare breed’. They are the ones who
feel that because you gave to them once, that you are now their sole means of
support on this site. Usually, these ‘rare breeds’ can be found lurking around
the chat boards.
Answer: It’s great to know that so many
of us enjoy offering a helping hand to someone. But what can we do when the
someone doesn’t let go of the helping hand? The easiest way to stop them from
asking you repeatedly for items is to tell them, “No!” Simple yet fairly effective.
Should they persist in asking for more things, then advise them to “Get a Neopian
job!”
Question: ‘Last Chance’ ~ What we have here is the ‘rare breed’ who
wishes to create a bit of a panic so you will hopefully follow the trail of
where they want to go. This can be in the form of ‘Last chance to join my guild!’
or ‘Last chance to buy from the sale in my shop!’ or ‘Last chance to do whatever
it is that I want you to do!” Many times you will see this kind of request posted
in the chat boards, as well as having the fortune of finding it in your Neomail.
Answer: The most common way many people
choose to respond is by ignoring it. This can work up to a point. In some cases,
should this ‘rare breed’ persist in telling you about the ‘last chance’ you
can simply state, “I thought you said this was my last chance!” Then proceed
to send them on a one way trip to the world of blocked Neopians.
As always, there will be many more twists and varieties to the behavior of
the ‘rare breed’ of Neopian. However, you’ve been given the opportunity to journey
into their world of unbelievable logic and gain a better understanding of them.
This will help you prepare for the moments when you have to deal with the ‘rare
breed’. Remember, if you choose to respond to them, always make sure to wish
them a ‘good day’!
Author’s Note: This article was written for a bit of humor about some
interesting Neomail events. I am in no way recommending you go out and take
on the ‘rare breed’. A special thanks to everyone who supplied me with more
examples of the many Neomails that the ‘rare breed’ can send! Please feel free
to offer comments.
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