| Also by adoriblelapin
"Hmm," Mister Shankly said thoughtfully, scratching
his chin. The entire staff was eyeing him, looking as though it was the end
of the world. "Oh, come on!" exclaimed Mister Shankly. "Cheer up, guys! You
shouldn’t be so down — look here, I have a little gift for all of you!"
Mister Shankly reached into his briefcase and
extracted from it an object. Everybody stared at him as though he was now insane,
and perhaps he really was. "Look! It’s jelly — dung jelly, in fact!"
They continued to stare ignoring him, although
not the dung jelly, as he placed a slab of the jiggly item on people’s desk,
whistling.
"Well, well, well," Mister Shankly said, examining
his desk. "I suppose that’s all I need to bring, but wait a minute…" Mister
Shankly searched around his desk before he gasped and continued, "Where is
my battle dung?"
***
"What’s the case?" inquired Shawn, a red Scorchio. The placed his top hat
on his head and looked at his blue Acara partner, Shana.
"You know we haven’t had a case in ages,
Shawn, so why now?" Shana said, yawning tiredly.
"Well, haven’t you heard? Shankly lost his battle
dung, but he hasn’t assigned anyone yet! So you know perfectly well what that
means, don’t you?" replied Shawn, using enthusiastic gestures with his arms,
flailing them around. "It’s a free-for-all! Any detectives at all can help."
"First of all, his name is Mister Shankly.
And second; do you really think we could solve this case?" questioned Shana.
"Because I certainly don’t. If it’s really a free-for-all, and if it involves
Mister Shankly, then basically every single detective will be on the lookout."
Shana looked disappointed at her own words,
as she tucked a notebook inside her pocket and wore the same cloak her Scorchio
partner was dressed in.
"Well, you never know, Shana, you never know.
I mean, with your intelligence and my detective skills, we’ll be able to do
something. I’m perfectly sure of that, if we try hard enough!"
Shana took a glance at him and turned away.
"Skills? Don’t you mean stupidity?" Before Shawn knew what was going on, she
flung the door open, grabbed his arm, and raced outside to the nearest resource
center.
***
Shawn slammed a book closed and looked over at Shana, "I think I've found three
different suspects," he announced proudly. "Grennich VanCoupe of Faerieland,
Iella Telle of Neopia Central, and Kirker Lares of the Lost Desert," he read
off of a tiny slip of paper in his hand.
"I think I've found one," Shana said, closing
her own book with a thud. "Her name is Ellie Kau, and she's from Mystery
Island." She stood up and gestured for Shawn to follow her as she stepped outside
the resource center. "First stop -- Iella Telle's home." She snatched the small
scrap of paper Shawn carried from his hands and copied Iella's address into
her notebook, then shoving the notebook back into the pocket of her cloak. "I
know exactly where this is. Come on!"
They headed toward Soup Alley and Shana skidded
to an abrupt halt in front of a three-room house. With the sudden movement,
Shawn bashed into Shana and she gave him a glare, saying, "You dolt." Shawn
shrugged and asked, "Is this Iella's house?" Shana nodded in reply.
The pair of detectives marched up the steps
to Iella's small home and Shana rapped on the door loudly. A second later, a
young Aisha came to the door and looked up at them. "Yes?" she questioned, her
sweet voice quiet.
"Hello, are you Iella Telle?" Shana asked, peering
down at the young girl.
The Aisha nodded silently, saying, "That's me,
alright."
Shawn butted in, asking, "Do you think we could
ask you a few questions?" Iella nodded without a word, leading the two detectives
into her living room.
Iella sat on a small, overstuffed chair, leaving
the detectives to take a seat on a slightly torn couch. She gazed at them calmly,
asking, "What is it you needed to ask me?"
Shana brought out a notebook she had written
several questions on and opened her mouth to start questioning, but Shawn beat
her to it. "Have you heard about the mysterious disappearance of Mister Shankly's
battle dung?"
With an almost wide-eyed, innocent look crossing
her face, Iella replied, "Mister Shankly's battle dung is missing?" In
reply, both Shawn and Shana nodded. Once again, Shana opened her mouth to question
Iella, but Shawn asked something with raised eyebrows.
"Now, you're sure that you haven't heard of
it? Well, yes, that's what happened." He peered at her seriously for a full
minute, then asked randomly, "Do you like dung jelly?"
A look of complete horror crossed Iella's face,
"No! It sounds revolting! Why would anyone eat such a thing?"
Shawn looked skeptical at Iella's innocence,
and started to ask, "Where were you on the day of--" but Shana cut him off,
quickly stating, "Well, look at the time, we've got to run. Thanks for talking,
Iella. Come on, Shawn. We're leaving!"
"Hey!" Shawn exclaimed when Shana had dragged
him outside by his arm, "What did you do that for? I was sure
she was the one that stole Mister Shankly's battle dung!"
"An innocent little girl like that?" Shana snorted.
"Very unlikely, Shawn. Now, let's get to the Lost Desert. There's a bus leaving
in fifteen minutes."
They boarded the bus and waited tediously as
it ran by the streets. The metallic vehicle drove by the plains, parks, and
other patches of grass. They drove to the Haunted Woods, where the bus had a
pit stop and Neopians disembarked off the bus.
Not long after, the bus began to move again,
traveling around the thick, dark forests and finally to the hot, sandy lands
of the Lost Desert. When they arrived, Shawn and Shana hopped off the bus and
began walking aimlessly, attempting to find the house. After searching for many
minutes, they finally arrived.
"Well, this is the house…" mumbled Shana under
her breath. "The NeoHome of Kirker Lares."
Shawn stared at the house, if it could even
be considered that. It looked much more like a facility, a factory, or something
of that sort than a NeoHome. Shana took a quick glance at Shawn and sighed.
Dragging him to the front door, she pressed the doorbell and waited for a response.
A few seconds later, there was a loud noise
from inside the building. Soon enough, a Kiko had opened the door abruptly,
making Shawn almost falling headfirst inside the building.
"What do you want?" demanded the Kiko, Kirker
Lares. He eyed Shawn and Shana suspiciously, before opening the door wider,
allowing them to take a peek inside.
"Hmm," said Shawn thoughtfully. "We should
be the one questioning you. Please let us come in; we’re detectives and need
to solve a case."
Shana nudged Shawn and gave him an angry look.
Shawn looked back at her quizzically, and she whispered, "We’re not supposed
to tell him! Now he might not let us in."
Against Shana’s prediction, the Kiko allowed
them to go inside. The two detectives gasped at what they saw; a room full of
gym equipment. In the middle was a Tiger Couch and a regular Coffee Table.
"Sit down," the Kiko nearly commanded with his
ironically deep voice. Kirker Lares, himself, sat down on the Tiger Couch, leaving
hardly any room for Shana and Shawn.
"Well, umm --" began Shana nervously. Shana
decided to go off the topic, since they greeted him so impolitely. "It’s a nice
place you have, Mister Lares."
"Yeah, it’s my own personal gym," replied Kirker
proudly. He bounced slightly on the couch and eyed Shawn, who was about to talk.
"Why would a Kiko like you want to train yourself
in the Lost Desert?" asked Shawn, sounding as trustful as possible. "I mean,
you’d need more water to hydrate yourself, and Kikos don’t exactly body build
– I mean, not the ones I’ve seen, anyway."
"Then you underestimate Kikos!" roared Kirker
Lares loudly. There was a brief pause of silence, when Kirker Lares spoke again.
"I’m sorry I raised my voice. I don’t know, but I’ve gotten an urge to yell
lately." He softened his tone. "Many Kikos don’t exercise much, you’re right.
But I’ve always wanted to be different, not just swim around in a small lake
and play all day. I also like the Lost Desert, because it’s almost the least
likely place where Kikos will live, making me even more unique."
Shawn scratched his chin thoughtfully. "You
sure are unique! I bet you could make your own company, the rival of Grundo’s
Gym, you know. ‘Kirker Lare’s Special Gym for the Unique Neopian’. I’d sure
love to train there!" Shawn looked proud at his own unselfish words, as Kirker
chuckled.
"That would be a fabulous idea, thanks. Maybe
you could be the vice-president or something. Well, is that all your two would
like to ask?"
"Well," said Shana softly. "We’re here for a
quite despondent event; Mister Shankly’s missing battle dung. We just wanted
to know if you witnessed anything, or have any clue of where it could be."
Kirker shook his head, looking disappointed.
"I’m afraid I know nothing. But I do say, I certainly enjoyed your stay." He
glanced at the two detectives, as Shana asked again, "Anything at all? Are you
sure?" The Kiko shook his head once again. "Afraid not, miss, afraid not."
Suddenly, out of another room came a putrid
odor flooding into the room. The rancid scent filled the air, forcing Shawn
to cough, and Shana to plug her nose and her eyes to water.
"Ugh!" yelled Shawn, also plugging his small
nose and squinting his eyes. "What’s that hideous smell?"
Quickly, Kirker replied, "Oh, my maid must be
cooking again. Quite a fine cook, if you ask me. Well, it’s almost my mealtime,
and I’m sure you’d rather go look for more suspects, and besides, I’m quite
a private person when it comes to eating! Goodbye!"
And with that, Kirker pushed the reluctant investigators
out of the house and slammed the door behind them. Shawn and Shana exchanged
odd glances and shrugged.
"Argh, I was starving, but with that
smell, I think I lost my appetite," moaned Shawn, as Shana walked a few steps
ahead of them as they were walking back to the bus stop. "Never mind. I’m hungry.
I need food, and I mean now!"
"Oh Shawn, please, let’s just fit one more interview
in our schedule. We can take a bite on Mystery Island, get home and get some
rest after that. Okay?" said Shana, her eyes as much plea as Shawn.
"Okay," agreed Shawn. "As long as we’re not
eating sand and fruits falling from the sky, then I’m in."
They walked in silence and hunger, Shawn grasping
his empty stomach, as it rumbled beneath him. Finally, when they arrived at
the boat, they discussed the suspects so far.
While sitting on the boat some five minutes later,
Shawn frowned, looking as if he was thinking deeply. "I still think that Iella
is the one who did it."
Shana frowned just as seriously as Shawn and
replied impatiently, "Shawn! That girl was so innocent I would of bet all my
Neopoints on her… her… innocence!"
"Her innocence is what makes me wonder!" exclaimed
Shawn. Shana rolled her eyes as the boat halted at Mystery Island's stop, and
they clambered off into the soft sand.
"Okay…" mused Shana. "Here. Ellie Kau's home
is somewhere along Island Crescent." She spun in a complete circle before grabbing
Shawn's arm and dragging him towards a long road. The first thing they saw was
a mansion, the second a patch of dirt with some starving-looking pets sitting
in the middle of the patch, picking at moldy fruits and staring into space grimly.
The third house they came to was a moderate size, four rooms with a garden.
Shana approached the door confidently and knocked soundly.
"Just a minute," a voice called from inside,
and a moment later a pudgy pink Kau appeared at the door. "Yeah?" she questioned
with a dark stare at the two detectives. "Who are you here to see?"
"Ms. Ellie Kau," Shana said smoothly. When the
pink Kau had spoken so rudely, Shawn's mouth had fallen open, as Ellie had a
sweet look about her. Yet, Shana seemed completely calm.
"That's me," the Kau continued daringly. "Now,
who are you, and what do you want?" And to Shawn, she added, "And close your
mouth!"
Shawn did as Ellie commanded, but Shana breezed
inside the well furnished home, much to Ellie's surprise, and announced, "We
are two detectives and we've come to ask you some questions. Might we sit down?"
Shawn was shocked at both Ellie's rudeness and
how Shana handled Ellie so unlike the others they had interviewed.
"What about?" challenged Ellie. "What do you
need to know about? I didn't do anything."
"Mister Shankly's battle dung is missing," Shawn
finally spoke up. "That is what we need to question you about."
Ellie's eyes widened ever so slightly, but she
replied, "I don't know anything about some stupid battle dung missing. I don't
fight. I wouldn't have anything to do with it. Goodbye." She practically pushed
Shawn and Shana outside and slammed the door in their faces.
"Shana!" exclaimed Shawn as Shana breezed down
the porch and onto the sidewalk. "I changed my mind! Ellie did it, not
Iella. I'm certain."
"We can't be too sure yet, Shawn," was Shana's
reply. "We still need to interview Grennich VanCoupe." Shawn grumbled about
a waste of time as they stepped up to the Tropical Foods Shop. Shana paid and
handed Shawn an AcneFruit and Thornberry Crepe while eating an oyster salad
and Tobbie Fruit herself.
On the boat back, Shana announced, "So we'll
go home, get some rest, and be ready to interview Grennich VanCoupe at 9 AM
— agreed?"
Shawn nodded, and they hopped into the bus that
would lead them to a boat, which carried them across the islands and to another
bus, bringing them home.
When the two had completed that process, Shawn
rested on his bed, relieved that the day of traveling and questioning had finished.
Meanwhile, Shana gathered all their notes and studied them carefully. Sighing
deeply, she fumbled with her pen, scrawling other information on her handy notepad.
At last, midnight arrived, and the sky reached its darkest. Shana crawled to
her room and slept as easily as Shawn had hours ago.
***
"Here we are…" said Shana, looking up at the rather circular building.
The cloud roof rested around the top rim of
the building, making a cone shape. The double doors were wooden, shaped as Faerie
wings. Two windows lay on the sides, the windowsills from inside fluttering
round because of the wind.
Knocking carefully on the door, Shana took a
quick glance at Shawn, who looked as if he was going to doze off at any second.
"Shawn!" she said briskly, whacking his wing with her notebook. "Come on, we’re
here."
"Hello," said a voice from inside. The Neopian
from inside opened the door ajar, revealing herself as Faerie Usul.
Shana waited for Shawn, but he gaped at her
in awe. After nudging him many times, she cleared her throat and was about to
speak, when Shawn came back to his senses. "Hello! We’re detectives, and we
just wanted to ask you a few questions. May we come in?"
"Yes, yes, of course," said the Usul prissily,
stepping inside. She clapped her hands and summoned a maid. "Bring us some extra
chairs, maid." Turning back to Shana and Shawn, she asked, "Would you care for
a drink?"
"Oh --" began Shana, then interrupted by Shawn.
"Yes please!" he exclaimed cheerfully, grinning
broadly.
The Faerie Usul, Grennich VanCoupe, looked at
him, snapped her fingers, and said, "Maid! These two would like a drink. What
would you like?"
Shana asked for a small cup of water, as Shawn
wanted a can of Neocola. After the three had settled themselves on chairs around
a large dining table, they began to question Grennich.
"You sure have a nice place," said Shana admirably.
"But anyway, we were here to ask you if you know where Mister Shankly’s battle
dung went. Anything; anything at all would be nice."
Shawn nodded in agreement, as Grennich asked,
"When was this?"
"Less than a week ago," explained Shana.
At this, Grennich did a thinking pose and said,
"I’m not sure if it was the correct date, but I was at a party one night. A
lot of other Neopets were there -- a young Aisha, deeply interested in a book,
reading away… oh, and I remember speaking to a Kau, who was just as rich as
I, but with a strange trend of style."
Shana looked deeply interested. Shawn whispered
to her, "She’s the best one so far!" Aloud, he questioned hopefully, "Did the
Kau have a large sack of battle dung with her?"
"Why, no, not at all. I don’t believe she would
even dare take one step toward a tiny piece of any dung objects, as I
wouldn’t," replied Grennich, sipping a cup of hot tea.
"Did you see a Kiko there, by any chance?" wondered
Shana, pushing on the questions.
"Yes! Yes I did, in fact. I guess I should tell
you everything that happened there, shouldn’t I?" When Shawn and Shana nodded
in response, the Usul continued, "Well, the Kiko went to get us, the Kau and
I, a nice little drink. The Aisha with a book sat behind me, enthralled in the
novel. After a while, the Kiko -- he was quite a handsome one, by the way --
gave us our drinks. There was nothing suspicious, but the small Aisha behind
me finished the book, and she began to wander around the party. I have no idea
why she was here, but she was very quiet. And that Kau, when it was close to
midnight, she was getting restless. So another words, it could have been anyone
there."
***
Later, Shana called Shawn on the phone, saying, "I think we've got to figure
out who did this soon."
"Yeah, poor Mister Shankly is going insane without
his battle dung!" agreed Shawn.
"I was more worried that the boss would actually
assign us a job and we'd have two cases at once."
"… oh."
Shana sighed. "Do you have any ideas?"
"Iella," replied Shawn stubbornly. "I still
think it's her."
Shana glanced down at the notes she held in
her paw, then read to Shawn, "Iella was very quiet, according to Grennich. She
read and finished her book during the time she was there. Does that really sound
like a thief to you?"
"She's too innocent!" insisted Shawn. "Much
too innocent!"
"I suspect Kirker over anyone else. When I was
rethinking the whole thing, did you remember that smell in his house?"
Shawn was quiet for a minute, then replied,
"Oh! I remember. That was awful, wasn't it?"
"Let's go back and look around tomorrow morning.
Meet me at his house 8 AM sharp!"
Shawn grumbled, "Fine."
Shana promptly hung up the phone, saying, "Goodbye,
then! See you tomorrow."
***
At eight AM the next morning, Shawn was half-asleep but standing next to Shana
in front of Kirker's home. It was a particularly hot day in the Lost Desert,
and sweat rolled down both of the detective's foreheads. Shana dragged a tired
Shawn up the steps and knocked on Kirker's door.
Instead of Kirker, an elderly, worried-looking
Draik answered the door.
"Hello, is Kirker Lares' home?" asked Shana.
Shawn yawned widely.
The Draik shook her head sadly. "I'm afraid not.
He was… he was… caught stealing battle dung," she said hurriedly.
Shawn and Shana both stared at the Draik. Suddenly,
Shawn's words came flowing back into Shana's head. "It’s a free-for-all!
Any detectives at all can help."
"Oh…" whispered Shawn. Apparently he had been
thinking the same thing as Shana.
"Are you his housekeeper?" questioned Shawn.
The Draik nodded, and, grinning, Shawn asked, "Can we try some of your cooking…?"
The End
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