Learning Languages You Didn't Even Know Existed by noremac9 |  |
NEOPIA'S DIFFERENT WORLDS - Okay, so we've all tried to learn Tyrannian. Some
of us have figured it out, some of us are still caught up on 'Ugga'. Yeah, well,
I am too. That Ugga's a tricky one. Other than that, however, I have the language
down pat. Anyway, the point is that Tyrannian isn't the only language to learn
out there. Oh no, goodness no--we're going to go though everything about Neopian
language you didn't already know.
Grundoian. Or something.
This is actually a fairly thriving dialect. It's pretty simple, really. In
fact, it's so simple, I don't even have to explain it. Here are some examples:
you'll pick up on the key right away.
"Madam, I'm Adam," becomes "Madam, I'm Adam."
"Racecar," becomes "Racecar."
"Sit on a potato pan, Otis," becomes "Sit on a potato pan, Otis."
As you can see, it's a very... um, I apologize, I believe I over did it at
the golden Dubloon--I'm seeing double here. The point... no, no I think the
translations are identical to the others... uh, this language was working a
few minutes ago. Must be a bug in the grammar. Moving along, moving along; you
never saw that.
Northern Tyrannian
Ah yes, the unfailing pursuit to understand Tyrannian continues. Why, I really
don't know... only thing they have to say is "ME HIT YOU NOW!" or "GRAG HIT
YOU THEN!" or "OUCH I WAS HIT BY GRAG!" Maybe it's just not my cup of Cobrall
Tea, but I still see it as a pointless pursuit. Anyway, on to delving into Tyrannian.
I personally believe there is a second dialect of Tyrannian--I call this old
Tyrannian--which is actually different from what I have dubbed "New Tyrannian.
Know it's hard for anything to be in a place where the wheel hot news, but work
with me here. As was saying, this dialect variant form of Here are some examples:
"Ugga grok gal evavu!" is written as "Uggae grouk gal evavue!"
"Mag-mag ugh gragga!" is written as "Mag-mag ughe graugga!"
It's not a whole lot different than English spellings VS. American spellings.
I personally believe the split came when Volcano dwellers and every-where-else-dwellers
became separated for a bit. I guess they just started using different forms
of grammar--these things happen.
Many might ask, "How can you have grammatical differences with a language
whose speakers don't write?" To them I say... oh my... um, I don't say anything,
because... well, I say we move on (whoever said that--you're making me look
bad!) And seriously, I'm not making this up. A little Beakadoodle told me. A
very reliable little Beakadoodle.
Haikuish
This is actually a living language, though it is very rarely spoken. When
it is spoken, it is only spoken in a Podunk shack on Mystery Island, or a cave
in Neopia Central
"Its Kacheek catches amplifies, believable yesterday approves."
Okay, there's a good chunk of cryptic dung right there. If you can understand
it, I fear for your mental health. Luckily, I bought myself a copy of the rare
book, "Understand Haiku, Learn its many ways quickly, be confused for sure."
Therefore, the translation is as follows.
"I am bored, oh so bored, like Ed the Kacheek, get me a cocktail, I am thirsty,
too I haven't used the facilities lately."
Yes, believe it or not, that is the correct translation. Still don't get it?
Good, I'd be pretty freaked out if you did. Here's another example:
"Tomorrow, complex today, heavy yesterday exceptional cloud."
And here, according to this rare tome, is the translation.
"Soon I'll get a petpet right now, I'll concentrate OOO... a pretty cloud!"
So like I was saying... just plain weird. According to this odd book, the
word for "the" is "Bruce." That Haiku guy is getting scarier by the minute.
You're going to need somebody incredibly scary's help to learn this system.
Gourmetese
With the release of the Gourmet Food Club, and the desire to figure out what
the heck those foods are supposed to be, came the learning of the language known
as Gourmetese. Basically, once learned, you can sort through things like "Mint
Chocolate Kacheek" and see them for the "I dropped a Kacheek in a press and
some green fluid" that they are.
The basic rule to follow in Gourmetese is that nothing is ever as fancy as
it sounds. Anything exotic is probably a mistake, as well.
In other words, "Starfish Pizza" basically means "I dropped the crust in the
ocean." Not "We searched high and low for these rare starfish," like they'd
like you to believe. Or if they say, "Brain Ke-bob" they mean, "Watch where
ya' point that pike next time!" Anyway, here are few more to get you going on
your Gourmetese.
"Wing of Korbat," pretty much means, "Alas, poor Korbat, I knew him well."
"Double Chocolate Surprise," goes something like, "'Scuse me."
"Spherical Cherry," is really just, "Thank Fyora for the thesaurus!"
"Rainbow Hotdog," roughly translates to, "Jacko, you need a better hobby."
"Spooky Jelly Brains," becomes, "This is why we don't have TV in Neopia anymore."
So you see, the language is pretty simple, once you get the hang of it. Very
handy, very handy indeed...
Hopefully, you'll be speaking all these like a pro within no time flat, and
you'll amaze your still-learning-Tyrannian friends. If you don't, don't worry--just
grunt and say you know Moehog.
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