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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 17th day of Relaxing, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 94 > Articles > Getting Yourself a Name in Neopia

Getting Yourself a Name in Neopia

by noremac9

PET CENTRAL - Everybody's always stressing about why giving your pets a good name is so important. I say-- ame 'em jojo_DA_jugglin_CLOWWN_wit_one_leg_andarooster. It doesn't matter. However, naming yourself--whoa, now THAT'S a different story. You should DEFINITELY work a lot on thinking up a good username. Well, for those of you who have trouble--never fear, this article is here to probably steer you in the wrong direction. If it steers you in the RIGHT direction, I'm very sorry. It was an accident.

The first thing you should know when creating a name is if it is taken or not. Go to the sidebar and type in the first five names that come to mind when creating an identity is brought up. Here are mine--

Doorknob - Taken Windowsill - Taken ChickenOfEternalPowerAndGreenBiscuits - Too Long ChairLeg - Taken IsEVERYnameTAKEN -Taken

Now you know two things: that it's really hard to find a username someone doesn't have, and that there's some creepy stuff lurking in the dark recesses of my mind.

Okay, so I gave up on getting a beautiful name that came out of my head. Instead, I turned to my own, REAL name. Yup, as scary as it may seem, this can be your best bet.

For instance, if your name is Derek, you just modify things a bit. Just change the 'e' to a 'u', the other 'e' and 'r' to an 'm', and the 'k' to a 'po.' Voila, we have "Dumpo" Unfortunately, this name is already taken. So we use one of the classic username making tactics-- adding an adjective. What's a good adjective? Well, it only makes sense to use "Dumpy," since you ARE "Dumpo." So is "DumpyDumpo" taken? Nope. See, now you-- Derek Somethin'-- have a username that fits your real name, and is hence easy to remember, and cool. Of course, if adjectives aren't your thing, go with a verb. Though, "DumpingDumpo" probably won't win you much respect.

Naturally, not everyone is up to taking their beautiful name and, well, mutilating it. I know how you feel. Therefore, you use the technique known as anagramming. At least, it's known as anagramming from this point forward. See, basically, what you do is this. You take your name (we'll just say Stud) and switch it around. Any of the following could be a possible outcome.

Dust Utsd Dtsu

Um, too bad most of those are unpronounceable, and the one that isn't means "Particles that collect on Zen Drawer and are annoying." But look on the bright side-- while they may be unpronounceable, the only people saying it will be people stalking you from online. They have to type it, otherwise. So it works, when you think about it in the right light…

Of course, if you've just got to have this really cool word-- like "Pudgey"-- that you KNOW is taken, you can always add numbers. 42 is a really popular choice-- it being the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything-- so it's probably going to be taken. Instead, use this tried-and-true methods of numeric selection.

The date of the month your birthday's on, the number of mushrooms in your yard (zero works, for a lot of us), and the third letter in your dog's name's alpha-numerical value. If your dog is name "Ut," I apologize. Rename your dog "Uto." If you don't have a dog at all, pretend you have a dog named "Uto."

Of course, if you don't want anyone to be able to derive the third letter in your dog's name, your real name, or your nickname, there's another way, oh unimaginative one. Just pick a character from the site, and make your name based on that. Since you're not playing the site yet, if you're trying to create a name still, I'll give you a hint. Everything in Neopia revolves around these three things: Hubert's Hotdogs, Hubrid's Mortogs, and Happy Hunting. So just try a combination of these three fundamentals, like, "Happy_Hubrid_Hotdog." Sounds good-- and it's not taken.

Now, thus far it's been all about making nice, original names. Or at least original names. But what if you want to blend into the crowd, like a Chia in a meat pie? Well, seems only fair. But be warned-- I call this the head-bang technique-- so if your head is weak, or your keypad is breakable, well, I apologize for injuries.

The idea is simple-- start with the foundation of "neo." Then, take your largest appendage currently resting on your shoulders, and bang the number pad, like so-- 898505855. Hmm, appears my head strays toward the '8' and the '5'. If your head strays too much toward one combination, just try doing an atomic drop onto the keypad instead. Ouch. So in my case, I came up with "neo898505855."

Oh yeah, and then there's female users. They have a system all unto themselves. After long study, I believe the secret code is something like this.

Angel/Puppy/Adjective describing your awesomeness + three or less letters describing your awesomeness (for instance, 'qt', 'lvr', etc.) + string of numbers equal to the number of sleeping Rhinos at the time of your name's creation = pupE2hotqtluv56453.

Yeah, any day now I'll probably be shown the Usuki of Eternal Death for letting that oh-so-secret code out, but what can I say-- I never could keep a secret. Oh yeah, and if that wasn't it, well, I think it might be number of sleeping HIPPOS. Ah well, it's all good.

If none of these sound good, there's always the tagalong method. Just take the name you WANTED ("Pudgey," was it?) and add "_gallery," "_treasury" or "_guild." I see all three of those all the time, so you shouldn't get any odd glances. I have no idea why people add those to there names, either, but hey, if it works, it works.

Finally, when going to create a username… wait, when you create a username, that means you have no account, right? So… you wouldn't know what the Neopian times is… or anything like that… and, oh dung.

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