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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 19th day of Hunting, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 93 > Continuing Series > The Great Chickentastic Catastrophe: Part Two

The Great Chickentastic Catastrophe: Part Two

by bladen_kerst

“Well, let’s see,” sighed Guen. “There are 600 cans of Neocola rolling around on the floor, so I’d have to guess... the refrigerator.”

     “Oh, very perceptive!” laughed Flare. “That 100,000 Neopoint prize is ours, Guen! There’s no way anyone can beat-” Flares voice trailed off when she noticed the strange creature Guen was holding. She pointed to the Peadackle, “Guen, what the heck is THAT?”

     “I couldn’t find a chicken,” explained Guen. “I even went to the Shop Wizard and he said there’s an abundant supply of chickentastic ice lollies, but there aren’t any chickens in Neopia. When I asked him how that was possible, he started acting crazy, pulled this Peodackle Petpet out of his robe, and told me to forget our conversation. I think there’s some huge conspiracy about chickentastic ice lollies, Flare. He acted so strangely, like something was-”

     “Oh, man, that’s hilarious!” laughed Flare. “The Shop Wizard keeps a Peadackle in his robe?”

     “What? Yeah, yeah, Flare, he does. You’re completely missing the point though. He-”

     “Well, at least you got that thing for free, right?” Flare interrupted again. Guen slapped her shadowy face as Flare continued, “An aquatic Petpet? Oh, gosh, Guen! What if the Kickin’ Chickens staff won’t accept this? The article in “You’re Just Gonna Flip When You Hear This!” says to enter you must have a chicken. It doesn’t say anything about Peadackles.”

     "Well,” responded Guen. “Maybe they’ll make an exception when they see how hard you worked on the, uh...”

     “Ultra-Chilling-Fire-Breathing-Coffee-Brewing-Annihilation-Madness 3000!” finished Flare.

     “Yeah that’s it,” stammered Guen, trying to control her laughter at the ridiculous name. “Will you fill the coffee maker with water? We’ll have to put the Peadackle in it so she doesn’t wilt.”

     Once the Peadackle was comfortable inside the Ultra-Chilling-Fire-Breathing-Coffee-Brewing-Annihilation-Madness 3000 machine, the two friends set off for the Mystery Island Arena. A short while later they arrived at the stadium, excited and surprised at how crowded it was. Thousands of Neopets and their owners stood outside the Arena, anxious to get inside. Dozens more waited impatiently for the Kickin’ Chickens staff to check their home-made weapons, hoping to earn a spot on the show.

     “Come on, Guen!” Flare shouted, hoping her friend could hear her over all the commotion. “Let’s go over there and wait with those Neopets!”

     The two girls began walking toward the crowd when Guen noticed something odd. “Look, Flare,” she said. “All of those Neopets have chickens! I wonder how they got them.”

     Flare just shrugged as the two took their place in line. Neither of them had been to such a large event before. The sun had almost disappeared beneath the ocean, but the lights from the arena made it seem as if it was the middle of the day. And so many people! The noise from all the talking and laughing was almost too much to bear. Even celebrities such as Nigel, a Chia who was Neopia’s leading stockbroker, and Aletra, a famous Aisha chef who had her own TV show called “What’s Cooking?”, had come to witness the show. Camera crews were everywhere, all trying to get an interview with anyone who looked important.

     “I’m glad we don’t look important,” said Flare. Guen smiled and nodded to her friend as a familiar fire Ixi walked toward them.

     “Guen, look!” Flare exclaimed. “That’s Inna! The announcer of Kickin’ Chickens!”

     “Oh, I just can’t take it anymore!” Inna whined to Samuel, the cloud Skeith co-host of Kickin’ Chickens. “We have to get off this horrible island!” Inna continued. “I thought this trip to Mystery Island was going to be a fabulous vacation and instead it’s turned out to be a nightmare. Can you believe that Tombola guy? He gave me a lousy tin of sardines! And that Kougra from the Haiku Generator! That jerk bit me!”

     “Inna, look!” interrupted the Skeith, motioning Flares way. “Look at that Unis machine! It has a, uh, a thing inside of a coffee machine! Isn’t that cool?!”

     “I guess if you’re a weirdo who’s easily amused, it is,” snapped Inna. “Hello, um, person,” she said to Flare. “What is your little machine called?”

     “It’s called Ultra-Chilling-Fire-Breathing-Coffee-Brewing-Annihilation-Madness 3000!” replied Flare, proudly hugging her creation. “And this thing inside the coffee maker is our chicken.”

     “That doesn’t look like a chicken,” said Samuel, confused.

     “Well it’s not an actual chicken,” replied Flare, looking to Guen for help.

     “It’s a chicken painted with a mutant paint brush,” Guen lied.

     “I think this is one of the most original machines I’ve ever seen!” exclaimed the Skeith. “I’m going to let you on the show. Could you do it tonight? That machine would be great for our opening spot.”

     “Sure!” Flare beamed.

     “Okay, great!” replied Samuel. “Just go through that door on the side of the arena, and down the hall. The first door on your right is where the producers are, and they will fill you in on the rules and introduce you to your opponent. Good luck!”

     Guen and Flare rushed to the door and made their way down the narrow hall. They then met the producers who went over the rules and some basic tips.

     “During the match you and your opponent will be inside a room next to the battleground,” one of the producers explained. “Keep the remote to your machine close, in case your chicken decides not to fight. You will be behind a protective window the entire time, so don’t worry about any stray fireballs that are launched your way.”

     “Your opponent should be coming in any minute now,” another of the producers said to Flare. “He’s a little, uh, scary,” she continued. “But try not to let him intimidate you.”

     At that very moment the meanest-looking Grundo Flare had ever seen stepped into the arena. He was mutated, and nearly twice as tall as Flare. His huge, muscular legs shook the very foundation of the arena with each long stride.

     “Hi,” stammered Flare, unable to pull her deep blue eyes away from the Grundo. “My name is Flare, and this Guen.”

     Guen didn’t say a word. She just put an ebony paw over her mouth and tried not to laugh at the strange Grundo.

     “What you starin’ at?” demanded the Grundo. “My chicken’s gonna beat your... your thing!”

     “Our thing?” laughed Guen. “It’s a Peadackle, you giant idio-”

     “Guen!” Flare shouted in disbelief. “The guy’s huge! I don’t think you should be insulting him!”

     “I’m gonna beat you sooo bad!”the Grundo taunted. “My chicken eats butter knives for breakfast!”

     The Grundo nudged his chicken toward Flare with his large, green foot. The chicken, obviously not appreciating the rude movement, turned around and peaked his foot.

     “Ouch!” shrieked the Grundo. He pulled his foot close to his face to examine it and began to cry.

     “Why you gotta peck at my toes, chicken?!” he sobbed.

     Suddenly, one of the producers ran up to Guen and Flare, distracting them from the hilarious situation.

     “Hurry up!” he shouted. “The show’s about to start! Get into position!”

     The three Neopets ran to their instructed spots, eager to fight for the 100,000 Neopoint prize. Colorful lights danced around the arena, falling on the cheering crowd, and then stopped in the center of the battleground.

     “Live from the Mystery Island Arena,” Inna shouted to the camera, “it’s Kickin’ Chickens!”

     Drums sounded throughout the Arena and the excited crowd began chanting ”KICK-IN’ CHICK-ENS, KICK-IN’ CHICKENS!”

     “Tonight we have an epic battle,” announced Samuel, “between two amazing machines! Our first competitor is Bob, a mutant Grundo, and his machine Awesome Oven Attacker!”

     The crowd began to chant, “AWE-SOME OV-EN, AWESOME OVEN!”

     And our second competitor,” continued Inna, “is an island Uni named Flare! Her mutant chicken will be wielding Ultra-Chilling-Fire-Breathing-Coffee-Brewing-Annihilation-Madness 3000!”

     On cue, the crowd began chanting again, “WHAT-EV-ER SHE SAID, WHATEVER SHE SAID!”

     “Bob?” laughed Guen. “That Grundo’s name is Bob?!”

     “What were you expecting it to be?” asked Flare.

     “I don’t know,” replied Guen. “Bigbuffmeatygreenman679, or something.”

     “Let the fight begin!” shouted Inna.

To be continued...

Previous Episodes

The Great Chickentastic Catastrophe: Part One

The Great Chickentastic Catastrophe: Part Three

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