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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 25th day of Eating, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 93 > Short Stories > GoldenRhino the Stuper Villain and the Koi Army

GoldenRhino the Stuper Villain and the Koi Army

by too_kule

"Whatcha doing?"

     GoldenRhino the baby Tonu jumped in his seat and spun around. Standing there was his brother EmeraldBlitz. GoldenRhino was in his ill-lighted room drawing some blueprints for the next big plan of his. It had been some time since GoldenRhino had developed a plan to take over Neopia, so he was taking advantage of the time he had. What else could you expect, he was a stuper villain after all.

     "NEVER DO THAT!" GoldenRhino roared at his brother. "I AM WORKING. I DON'T WANT YOU TO DISRUPT ME. I HAVE TO TAKE OVER NEOPIA BEFORE DR. SLOTH CAN CALL DIBS ON IT!"

     The fire Krawk wiped the saliva out of his eye and laughed. "Oh yeah Goldy, I'm suuuuure you'll take over Neopia. You're so evil," EmeraldBlitz laughed sarcastically.

     "Never call me Goldy again! If you must address me, call me GoldenRhino, supreme chansellor of Neopia for many days and many more days to come!" the Tonu shrieked.

     The Krawk stood there blinking. "Yep, right after you get TK to change your diaper, correct?" he asked.

     "Yeah, I've been meaning to ask hi-- shut up! I don't need you, or our owner, or our sisters, SO BEAT IT!" he yelled. As EmeraldBlitz walked away laughing he added, "And feel lucky you can't be painted baby, or else my Baby Blaster will zap you!" The baby Tonu could hear his brother laughing all the way down the hall.

     GoldenRhino muttered something under his breath and continued with the blueprint. With this device, he could take over Neopia. It was a picture of a giantic space ship with a laser gun attatched to it. If he built this, Neopia would be his. He finished off the diagram with a couple of curved strokes with his pencil and admired his art work.

     "What do you think Darth Babaa?" the Tonu asked.

     From under the bed, Darth Babaa crawled up chewing on a sock. GoldenRhino's faithful Petpet and minion hopped up onto his owner's lap and admired the stuper villain's work. It was a big mess of lines coming every which way. Darth Babaa looked up at his owner with a confused look on his face. "Baaaaa?" he asked.

     "You don't like it?" GoldenRhino asked threateningly. "Fine, I guess someone won't get the expensive kind of Petpet Chow when Neopia is all mine. Anyway, I wrote the instructions how to operate the machine on the paper. Let's see... uh... er... uh-oh. I can't read! Man, I knew I should've taken that How to Read class before that How to Write class!" GoldenRhino exclaimed as he crumpled up the blue print. He flopped down on his bed. "What a stuper villain like me really needs is a fool-proof plan to take over Neopia. But all the plans I have need more help! What I need is not a minion, but more like soliders. Troops were I can send to any part of the globe and do my bidding... but where can I find them?"

     Suddenly, GoldenRhino's ears heard a sounds coming from the halllway. He turned his head slightly and saw his sister JadePaw walking down the hall way holding a magazine. She looked up and saw him. "Hey Goldy--"

     "Don't call me that or prepare to be babyfied," the stuper villain threatened.

     "Sorry, I just got back from the Neolodge... you know, TK put me in the lodge last week because it was Koi Day. I know I'm not a Koi now, but I was for most of my life after the Lab Ray zapped me from Ixi to Koi... anyway, I'm back!" the cloud Draik greeted as she continued down the hall.

     GoldenRhino stroked his chin. Kois?

***

GoldenRhino stood at the sandy coast of the Haunted Woods. The sand was a putrid green colour that didn't look very inviting. The water lapped up at the Tonu's toes as he worked up the nerve to jump in. He wasn't exactly the most experienced pet in the field of swimming, despite everything his Krawk brother tried to teach him. GoldenRhino also donned blue swim trunks with a yellow stripe down the side.

     "It's only a bit of water... it's only a bit of water... I will control water someday... not now, but someday. KOIS, HERE I COME!" he exclaimed. But he didn't budge in the sand.

     Darth Babaa trotted up and looked up at his owner. In his mouth he carried a paper bag. GoldenRhino picked up the bag and looked inside. His costume sat inside. GoldenRhino picked it up and laughed. "Thanks Darth Babaa. Too bad you can't come with me." GoldenRhino tied the navy blue handkerchief around his face. Two holes were cut out so he could see. He also tied a fuzzy maroon towel around his neck which he had to admit looked pretty spiffy as a cape. Inside were also three things: a red potion vial, a SCUBA tank and a book. GoldenRhino looked at the book. 'A Grundo's Guide to Hypnosis' was the title.

     "Pretty lucky TK has a weird taste in books, huh?" GoldenRhino laughed. He slung the tank over his back and inserted the mouth piece in his mouth. He kept the vial with bubbling red potion in his hand, ready to uncork it. GoldenRhino needed the 10 Second Super Power potion so he could swim down the bottom in just a matter of seconds. He also held the book (which was waterproof) in his other hand. He took a small swig of the potion and felt almighty strength flow through him. He jumped into the water and began to swim down the the bottom.

     The murky water revealed no Kois at all. All he could see was the disgustingly coloured sand filling the water. But oddly enough, the deeper he swam, the cleaner the water got. He could feel the potion wearing off quickly, but it didn't matter as he could already see them. Hundreds of Kois. Each of them conversing with one another, talking excitedly to one another. When they suddenly noticed a Tonu swimming among them, panic consumed them.

     "There's an intruder..."

     "Is he a Jetsam..."

     "Somebody stop him..."

     Suddenly, a frightening looking Koi approached him. He was all red with green armour on him. "I'm the Koi Warrior, sworn protector of the Kois. The Royal Family hired me soon after Maraqua's destruction to make sure the few remaining Kois won't be harmed. Tell me your name," the Koi Warrior instructed.

     "I am GoldenRhino, and you are my soldiers!" he exclaimed, using the book to help him. His voice was muffled by the aqua lung and the water to the extent where he couldn't understand himself, but it seemed the Kois could.

     "We are not the soldiers!" the Koi Warrior growled.

     "We are your soldiers," the Kois chanted. The stared at GoldenRhino with blank, lifeless eyes.

     GoldenRhino smirked. It seemed the Kois were falling victim of his hypnosis, but the Koi Warrior wasn't. "Koi Warrior, you make sure the Kois follow my command. I will give you orders which you will pass onto the Kois. You are under my control."

     "I am under your control," the Koi Warrior chanted. He was just like the other Kois, with lifeless eyes and a droning voice. This was going perfectly.

***

The bright sun shone down upon the bright, sunny beach. Only a few clouds dotted to serene blue sky and all was at peace. Though suddenly, a dark shape could be seen surfacing from the water below.

     "Daddy, what's that in the water?" a little Usul asked the her father as she played in the golden sand.

     "Uh-oh," he father replied.

     Suddenly, with a large rumble the Kois surfaced. They stampeded onto the beam with mindless grunts and yells. Each of them were armed with a menacing trident as the swarmed the beach quickly. The innocent civilians enjoying the calm day ran in terror from the aquatic Neopets.

     As the pets ran in the opposite direction of the Kois, GoldenRhino surfaced from the water. He was still wearing his blue swim trunks but he also wore an evil grin. The Tonu had gotten the army he wanted. They were mindless and ready to serve him.

     "Baaa! Baaa!" exclaimed a faint voice. Darth Babaa came running up to greet his owner.

     "Come now GoldenRhino, to Neopia Central we go! The Kois are on their way. It won't be long before Neopia Central is mine, then they'll take over the rest of Neopia! Muahahahahahaha!"

***

The wind rustled through the cape on GoldenRhino's back as he looked down upon the city of Neopia. He was standing on top of the Food Shop with his Halloween Petpet. Darth Babaa wasn't looking where his owner was. He was occupied at the marvels of a giant metal hamburger.

     "Soon, Neopia will be mine! I'll run through the Toy Store and burn the Grooming Parlour down! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" the masked Tonu laughed maniacally.

     The Koi army ran through Neopia Central, with the entranced Koi Warrior leading them. They ran around, scaring Neopets everywhere. Neopia Central was just about vacated, ready for GoldenRhino to swoop down and assume command.

     "Koi Warrior," the stuper villain yelled from atop the seemingly-edible store. "You and the troops will ransack the Battle Shop, making sure that nobody will be able to get any weapons and fight us!"

     The armoured Koi grunted and the soldiers followed him. To the Battle Shop they went, ready to take it down. GoldenRhino watched from atop the building, ready. All he had to do was wait for the Battle Shop to be destroyed and Neopia Central was defenceless. The Kois charged toward the tiny building. The hypnotized army raised their tridents into the air as if ready to fling them at the shop and paused. And paused some more. They stood there, breathing heavily with their tridents ready to strike.

     "Don't stop!" GoldenRhino wailed. "We're so close! Neopia is vacated! All we have to do is make sure that we can't be stopped here. Take down the building, and you will become my royal army!"

     But the Kois didn't respond. They stood there breathing heavily, and exchanging confused looks. Suddenly, the Koi Warrior spoke. "Wha-- what happened?"

     "YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SPEAK! YOU'RE HYPNOTIZED!" GoldenRhino shrieked as he stormed on the shop.

     "Water!" a yellow Koi wailed as she started turning blue. "I need water! I can't breath!"

     As the Kois ran off toward the ocean, GoldenRhino suddenly realized the fatal error. The aquatic army could only last so long above the waves. The lack of air must have made their heads swirl and overthrown the hypnosis!

     Splashes could be heard as the Kois leaped into the water. All of the aquatic Neopets breathed a sigh of relief and swam around the water. Not a memory of the hypnosis remained in their mind, and they returned to peacefully frolicking in the water.

     The Tonu jumped down from the building and onto the ground, followed closely by his Petpet. Another plan foiled, by something so pathetic as oxygen! But suddenly he had an idea. "You know, JubJub day is coming!" he exclaimed. Darth Babaa sighed. "The perfect army! Small but deadly! But they have no arms... I'll give them arms! I'll mutate them! But then I'll need a Lab Ray thingy... I'll invent one!" Another sigh escaped Darth Babaa's little mouth. The life of a stuper villain was never boring.

The End

Week 93 Related Links

Background Voices of Neopia: Maitre D
This week I've traveled to the Gourmet Club, a fine upper-class restaurant filled with the fattest guests and the most expensive food around.

by too_kule



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