Main Page Go to Short Stories Go back to Articles Go to Comics Go to Continued Series Go to Editorial Go to New Series

Show All | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9 | Week 10 | Week 11 | Week 12 | Week 13 | Week 14 | Week 15 | Week 16 | Week 17 | Week 18 | Week 19 | Week 20 | Week 21 | Week 22 | Week 23 | Week 24 | Week 25 | Week 26 | Week 27 | Week 28 | Week 29 | Week 30 | Week 31 | Week 32 | Week 33 | Week 34 | Week 35 | Week 36 | Week 37 | Week 38 | Week 39 | Week 40 | Week 41 | Week 42 | Week 43 | Week 44 | Week 45 | Week 46 | Week 47 | Week 48 | Week 49 | Week 50 | Week 51 | Week 52 | Week 53 | Week 54 | Week 55 | Week 56 | Week 57 | Week 58 | Week 59 | Week 60 | Week 61 | Week 62 | Week 63 | Week 64 | Week 65 | Week 66 | Week 67 | Week 68 | Week 69 | Week 70 | Week 71 | Week 72 | Week 73 | Week 74 | Week 75 | Week 76 | Week 77 | Week 78 | Week 79 | Week 80 | Week 81 | Week 82 | Week 83 | Week 84 | Week 85 | Week 86 | Week 87 | Week 88 | Week 89 | Week 90 | Week 91 | Week 92 | Week 93 | Week 94 | Week 95 | Week 96 | Week 97 | Week 98 | Week 99 | Week 100 | Week 101 | Week 102 | Week 103 | Week 104 | Week 105 | Week 106 | Week 107 | Week 108 | Week 109 | Week 110 | Week 111 | Week 112 | Week 113 | Week 114 | Week 115 | Week 116 | Week 117 | Week 118 | Week 119 | Week 120 | Week 121 | Week 122 | Week 123 | Week 124 | Week 125 | Week 126 | Week 127 | Week 128 | Week 129 | Week 130 | Week 131 | Week 132 | Week 133 | Week 134 | Week 135 | Week 136 | Week 137 | Week 138 | Week 139 | Week 140 | Week 141 | Week 142 | Week 143 | Week 144 | Week 145 | Week 146 | Week 147 | Week 148 | Week 149

Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 27th day of Awakening, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 92 > Articles > Not All It's Cracked Up to Be-- NP

Not All It's Cracked Up to Be-- NP

by noremac9

A MUSTY BANK ACCOUNT - NP is the number-one thing most Neopians want. Plain and simple. I'd like to make that sentence more interesting, but there's no way around it-- that's what they want. But the question is, why. Why do they want it? Is it worth sitting for long periods of time in a shop with a poorly painted Kau looking for bottles that have tails? Is it worth running around in a NeoHome grabbing Usukis for hours on end? Is it worth begging anyone who has it for, and getting messages like "I_have_a lot_o_NP_and_you_do_not has blocked you"? I think not, but since no one really cares about one madman's opinion, I guess it's time to prove it.

Well, first let's look at the MAIN thing people want NP for-- paint brushes. I'll never know why, but some people like making their pets look like tomatoes, infernos, stuffed toys, and even swashbucklin' high-seas adventure-pets. But do you really need NP for all this? And do you REALLY need all this at all? I mean, that's what the Rainbow Fountain was for! Sure, it disappeared ages ago, and the faeries were saying something about it never coming back, more than likely… but we can hang on to naïve hope! Welcome to my world! But still, it didn't require ANY NP, so NP isn't all that necessary to paint your pets, as long as you're naive. Although, being naïve won't get your pets painted-- but it'll satisfy you for a bit. And hey, there are always morphing potions, for those who can't force themselves to follow untrue whims! Though, they cost even more NP, but… okay, so they're not an option. But there IS another option.

Don't paint your pets. Keep them the color they were, nice and ordinary. It might be some kind of, pssch, STATUS SYMBOL to paint your pets, but who cares? We all know ANYONE with a painted pet is a snob. Besides, you can just call your pet something like… Boring Blue, Yucky Yell-- er, wait. I mean, something like "Confident with Their self-image." Either way, you don't have to spend NP, and we both know that's what counts. Of course, NP doesn’t matter anyway, so you see, those ways work just as good as painting your pet. Man, that was so convoluted, I think I confused myself.

Okay, but besides whatever it was up there I was trying to say, there are other reasons NP doesn't matter. What's the other thing most people do with their NP? Hoard it in the bank. But my question is, what GOOD is this REALLY doing, anyway? It just sits there, collecting interest, to collect interest, to collect interest on the interest. For all that interest, it sure as dung isn't very interesting. Besides, that Skeith is freaky. I bet he eats all the NP. Which brings me to my next point.

What IS NP? It's just a number. For instance, how do you KNOW that Skeith isn't eating the coins, and replacing them with digits. Hey, you never know, it can happen. But more importantly, I think this brings us to the very ROOT of the love for NP: Numbers.

People, and especially Neopets users, love numbers. It's something inborn in them, something engraved in them, something they all posses. Why, if you don't believe me, go to the chat boards. "1 4m 73h c00lz3rz!!!1111" is something you're likely to see. That is an example of a user displaying their mathematics skills. They want to show they can use numbers, impress other people with numbers, and more importantly, they just want to look at numbers. Some petty fools have called this "Chet Speck" or "Cheap Seek", or something, but we all, deep down inside know what it REALLY is. It's showing off your number skills. So, the question is-- do we love NP because of the digits?

I deduce we do. We never see the NP, as far as coins go, and we rarely use it. We just like seeing "-52" in the sidebar, or "424,242" in the bank. But who cares if we know WHY we like it, the point is we don't NEED it at ALL.

Take battling, another hobby that sucks NP like a… something that sucks NP sucks NP. The idea, once you think about it, is really very pointless-- the biggest excuse being "I had nothing better to do with my NP." First off, right there-- that PROVES there's very little to do with NP. But furthermore, this "hobby" you spend your NP on is, like I said, pointless. You basically slave away looking for vegetables, pointy objects, and hokey pendants. Then you give 'em to your pet, drop them in the ring with some monstrosity, and hope they win. The winner receives… NOTHING! Yes, that's right, people give away the thing they value the most, NP, for something that gains no profit. Oh yeah, and besides weapons, you've got to give Ryshu codestones… and THAT, my friend, is the biggest source of conspiracy theory in Neopia. I wish he'd just ADMIT he's using them to build a influx reversion trans-shifter, than make all these psychos guess…

Okay, so now, if you're not TOTALLY convinced NP should be abolished, than you obviously have more cash than I do. But that's not the point. The point is that some BRILLIANT person once proposed the Neopian-Utopian idea of removing NP from Neopia forever… okay, so it was a Chia with tightey-whiteys, a bad cap, and stupid look on his face. But behind that… pathetic appearance, I know there's a mind of a genius there, because that was a beautiful idea. Of course, it might have been the guy standing in front of the cheese, but who knows. I asked the guy, but all he would say was "Kickin' it on the real tip, DUDE!"

Still, this idea is still ringing in my ears, standing still in my mind, still there, in fact, distilling my thinking. It would bring happiness-- and an easier lifestyle-- to Neopia. Don't believe me? Let's look at Neopia as if NP was gone…

Please imagine some kind of cheesy dream-sequence fade-in. Thank you.

Imagine seeing two little Neopets playing with expensive Faerie Dolls. But they're not expensive-- everything's free. The Hidden Tower is raided, bringing near destruction to all of Neopia, with so many rare artifacts in the hands of psychos… but brush over that. The Soup Kitchen is empty, since even the formerly poorest Neopian can eat the rarest food. Of course, this drove the Soup Faerie out of business, and she wasn't too happy. But now, since she loves helping people, she's a psychiatric rehabilitation worker, working with previous millionaires who can't come to terms with the new law. They call her the Sit-On-A-Couch-And-Tell-Me-About-Your-Childhood Faerie now. And then that Skeith that used to run the bank started eating Petpets, just for kicks, and those smuggler's cove guys started being malicious out of boredom, and most of the shopkeepers moved into the valley of the gnomes…

Um, but anyway, you see that Neopia would be… very different without NP. For better or for worse, you decide, but I still say we don't need it. Anyway, I'd love to keep talking, but I've got to go pick up some Codestones… not that I like NP… nooo… not me…

Week 92 Related Links

Spending Neopoints: For Fun and Not Profit.
But what fun is hoarding saving all those Neopoints if you don't SPEND them?

by laurensama

Search :
Other Stories

Large or Small -- A Rundown on Shop Sizes
Before you decide to blow all your spare NP on upgrading your shop to titanic proportions, let us first compare the pros and cons of the gigantic shops versus the normal stores that make up majority of the shops in Neopets.

by ryken

The Fate of the Top 40 List
You should choose an adventure’s rating based on how much you enjoy the writing, storyline, and subject matter.

by tdyans

Shields Just Don't Block It
There are dozens of shields in Neopia, but some are simply better than others. Like the Dung Shield for instance. That rocks! So does the Water Jelly Shield. Yup, nothing is worse than a basic defending tool.

by too_kule

Neopets | Main | Articles | Editorial
Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series | Search