Name: Nick Neopia
Species: Human
Location: The Land of Delete
THE LAND OF DELETE - April Fools... a wonderful day where everyone can play good-natured
pranks on each other and have a good laugh. But some jokes can be sick and disturbing,
VERY sick and disturbing. Take the April Fools joke of Year 3. Nearly every single
Neopet was morphed into a beast worse than any mutant for the day.
But even worse than that was the scare of the new website look on April 1st
not too long ago. A funky retro look was promised throughout the site and a
little 'sneak-preview' was given on the frontpage. Worse than that was Nick
Neopia, the scariest 'dawg' this side of the seven seas. Yep, all seven of them.
So I traveled to the Land of Delete to interview this whacked dude, with my
totally spiffy Shoyru, SilverEmerald...OK, I'm starting to scare myself.
The Land of Delete was a mysterious void, everything swirls of grey with no
top and no bottom. Pieces of paper blew across the 'ground'. I picked one up
and read it in my mind. Dis iz da tale of da kewlest gelart in niopa.
Interesting. Finally we saw something alive, a radical dude with curly brown
hair, yellow and black clothes with tubular green eyes. I walked up to him and
began the interview.
TK: Are you Nick Neopia?
NN: Dude! What's up man, like, hey. Yep, I'm Nick Neopia jamming in
my crib.
SE: Very interesting... erm... crib you got here.
NN: It is like radical man, you know what I'm saying?
TK: No, I don't know what you're saying. Anyway, tell me how your brief
life as the guide to the 'wacky and crazy world of Neopia'.
NN: Man, I was just hangin' and these peeps came up to me and were
like, "Hey, how is it going man?" and I was so like "Just hangin', you know
how it is!" and then this one spiffy guy came up to me...his name was like coffee
or something. Anyway, he and this girl who's name reminded me of breakfast came
in and were like, "Dude, we have like a funkalicious job for you!" They were
like laughing and everything.
SE: Uhhuh, and how did it end?
NN: I was just doin' my job, getting ready for the spiffy thang when
they clicked the delete button and I was like just here.
SE: Riiight. And you aren't aware that it was an April Fools jo--OW!
TK, stop kicking me!
TK: Er... anyway, who's idea was it to scrap the whole Neopoint idea?
Did Borovan and Poptart tell it to you or was it your idea?
NN: Dude, that was totally the offspring of my genius. I was sittin'
around and thinking 'How can I make Neopia more radical'. Man, it just came
to me! Scrap the Neopoint!
SE: Why am I not surprised it came from you?
NN: Dude, I know! I mean, I look like a genius and talk like a genius
so man, I like am totally a genius!
SE: If you're a genius then I'm an idiot.
TK: Hehe, me too. Anyway Mr. Neopia, what do you do here?
NN: You mean in my crib? Just hangin', you know how it is man.
TK: Sure. Er... this place seems pretty boring. You just sit here?
NN: Nah, I like check out some of the things that come here. There's
a lot of bottles of sand, many prunes and a whole ton of scotch eggs. Dude,
those scotch eggs are like totally radical! Oh, and for like fun and stuff I
like totally read. There are so many things that come around. Like the other
day, I found my story I sent in The Neopian Times two months ago! It was like
tubular!
TK: How did the story go?
NN: Once upon a like time there was this totally rocking princess and
this totally jammin' bad guy like came and like--
SE: Dude, you are like totally blowing hot air!
TK: Yes, yes he is. So, Nick, what was your life before the whole incident?
NN: My life was all like pretty word. Just hangin' around. I lived
in like the rocking world of Faerieland with my two Neopets. They're like those
two funkalicious Neopets who were on the front page too. The punk Chia and the
skateboarding Usul.
SE: Your life was word. WORD!?!? TK, this guy is a mor--
TK: Where are your pets now anyway? The Chia and Usul?
SE: You stepped on my foot TK!
TK: I know.
NN: They're like here too! They are like totally radical, so spiffylicious!
TK: So, any plans on how to leave? I mean, you can't just stay here,
right? You can't spend the rest of eternity sitting here reading discarded pieces
of paper.
NN: Dude, I have like already got an idea! All I have to do is wait
for a time machine to be discarded and I'm like home free!
SE: Good luck with that.
TK: OK, I think that about wraps it all up. Thanks for the interview!
NN: Dude, the pleasure was like all mine! Thanks for like coming here
just to interview me.
TK: Yes... coming here to interview you...
SE: Hehehe, TK tried to discard a plastic butter knife that was in
his pocket and we were brought here! We had nothing better to do then waste
our time watching you flap your gums!
NN: That hit deep man... really deep...
OK, so I can never go back to the Land of Delete again, big deal. But that
will make Christmas shopping difficult... anyway, this is too_kule, signing
off from the Land of Delete. I hope that time machine comes along soon... peace
out.
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