HOME OF THE TAX BEAST - Recently, I was granted an interview with the infamous
Tax Beast! Needless to say I was very excited and very afraid. After all, this
beast has been making several headlines as of late. In fact, it is rumored that
he is even more despised than the Pant Devil!
Well, on this bright spring day, I had the chance to visit the ‘Beasts’ home.
I must say that from the outside, it looked quite lovely. Who would have thought?
When I rang the bell, an older Kougra had greeted me at the door. He said that
the Tax Beast had been expecting me. I followed the Kougra to a very large room
and was instructed to be seated. The Tax Beast would be with me shortly.
I had taken this opportunity to look around the room a bit more. It was very
tastefully decorated in dark, rich shades of purple and green. The furniture
carried a very Victorian flavor to it. In fact, I was very surprised to see
that the Tax Beast would live in such an elegant style.
A short time later, I came face to face with him! He nearly took my breath
away! He was very intimidating. But then why shouldn’t he be? He was the Tax
Beast after all!
He sat down across from me and welcomed me to his home. It is here that we
begin the interview.
Beau_lis: Thank you so much for inviting me to your home for an interview.
You have a lovely home!
Tax Beast: It’s my pleasure. I have been
looking for a chance to share my side of the story. And when this opportunity
came along, I knew I wanted to take it.
Beau_lis: Share your side? Excuse me for being a bit forward, but you
are the Tax Beast and as far as Neopians understand, you come around and take
10% of their hard earned Neopoints! I have to admit that this is very frustrating
for many people.
Tax Beast: That’s what I was hoping to
explain to my fellow Neopians.
Beau_lis: Please, by all means share with us. I know my readers would
be very anxious to read what you have to say.
Tax Beast [thinking back]: Well, it started
a while back when I was created by Neopets Staff. It was no secret that I had
hoped to become a neopet. To be honest, I was honoured to have even been created
for Neopets. I just never realized that I would be one of the most despised
creatures on Neopets.
Beau_lis [in an effort to console the beast]: Oh, I wouldn’t say you
are the most despised creature. There is still the Pant Devil and Ghosts that
come around far more often than you.
Tax Beast [looking dejected]: Yes, but
when I do come around, no one is very happy to see me. I did speak with Adam
and Donna about this as well as some of the other staff. Even though I am in
this position, I thought surely there must be some way to make it a little better
Beau_lis [looking sympathetic]: And was there anything that could be
Tax Beast [a bit more cheerful]: The staff
came up with some wonderful ideas! We have trophies for the people who give
the most taxes. And we have Tax Beast merchandise that is so rare; it isn’t
even in shops yet! And if I do say so myself, the plushie is looking very cute!
(looking a bit sad again) But still, I know that many of the Neopians would
rather have nothing to do with me.
Beau_lis: Well, I believe that can be changed a bit. Through this part
of the interview, you have helped people to see that being the Tax Beast is
a job, and not one you readily wanted to begin with. So maybe, we can show your
personal side as well. Tell us some things about yourself. Maybe some fun hobbies
or places you enjoy visiting.
Tax Beast [a bit lively]: I do enjoy traveling.
In fact, I have been to various worlds many times over! But I still find the
world I enjoy most is Meridell! I try to go as often as I can to visit my friends
there. Especially the Turmaculus, who is a close friend of mine.
Beau_lis [excited]: Oh really! I have visited him a few times myself.
He seems very nice, but very tired most of the time.
Tax Beast [laughing]: Yes, he is at that.
Beau_lis [slyly smiling]: As goes with all interviews, many of our readers
may be interested to know if you are in any way attached?
Tax Beast [grinning]: At this point in
time, it’s just me and my whoot, Pluto.
Beau_lis: Besides travel, what else do you do for fun?
Tax Beast: Hmmmmm, I enjoy doing many things.
I have a few collections of stamps and I’m also collecting Battledome items.
You never know when you may need these items. I also enjoy fishing on Krawk
Island. And even doing some sailing.
Beau_lis [looks at the time]: Well I’m afraid our time together is nearing
its end. Is there anything else you would like to share with my readers?
Tax Beast: I believe so. Don’t be afraid
to say hello when I pass by. I am a very friendly beast and enjoy meeting new
people. Being the Tax Beast is my job. But being your friend is my pleasure.
Beau_lis [smiling]: Thank you again for taking the time to speak with
me. And I for one am honoured to be your friend.
Now the day didn’t end there. The Tax Beast had invited me to lunch and we
had a most grand time. In fact, I was extremely pleased when he phoned up the
Turmaculus and set up a time for us to meet for an exclusive interview! So remember
to check back for another revealing meeting from this roving reporter!