HEROES OF NEOPIA - I stepped gingerly into the dark tunnel, Bluefire104, my
good ol' Scorchio, right behind me. The camouflaged door swung slowly closed
behind me, shutting with a sharp clang. Bluefire104, using his Magic Torch ability,
illuminated the area with a flickering light, revealing a stainless steel tunnel.
We walked down the tunnel, wincing at every step as the metallic noise of our
footsteps (and pawsteps) echoed throughout the tunnel. We encountered a huge,
circular door the metal exterior shining bright as the light of the magic flames
danced over its surface. Squinting, I spotted a mini Gamma Monitoring Console
set in the door. I tapped a few keys experimentally, and the door, to my surprise,
swung silently inwards.
The harsh glare of fluorescent light temporarily blinded me as my eyes adjusted
from the firelight. I blinked and realized I was in a huge room, an enormous,
technical-looking and complicated computer, trailing thick cables and displaying
flashing lights, resting in the middle. Reclining in front of it, a Grarrl dressed
in a black and purple costume watched the screen intently, while two other similarly
attired Grarrls played cards at a small folding table. Which was unfolded at
the time, of course. One of the card-playing Grarrls, who was unusually big,
even for a Grarrl, jumped up, and in a gravelly, deep rough voice, cried "Cheat!"
The other player threw down his cards in disgust, and stood up as well. He
spotted Bluefire104 and I and, yelled, "Intruders!"
This did not have the effect I think he would have liked, because the Grarrl
in front of the enormous computer just waved his hand dismissively and absentmindedly
said, "Just wait a minute."
Sighing, the Grarrl who had spotted me motioned for his card-playing opponent
to grab Bluefire104 and I. The Grarrl grunted and with surprising speed for
a pet of his size, grabbed us each by the scruff of our necks (or in my case,
my collar) before we could blink. He roughly hauled us over to the other card-playing
Grarrl, who looked at us sternly.
"Evil villain, how dare you infiltrate our secret hideout!" he said severely.
"What business do you have here?"
Thinking on my feet (which isn't technically true, since the big Grarrl, whom
I assumed was The Wall, was holding me so my feet didn't even touch the ground)
I said, "Umm, I just wanted to use your toilet."
The first Grarrl, who I presumed was Captain Astounding because of his officious
manner, stroked his scaly chin carefully. He jerked his thumb at Bluefire104.
"Then what's he doing here?"
Thinking on my feet once again (without an Accelerator Helmet, mind you) I
blurted out, "He's my, uh, toilet buddy."
The Wall raised an eyebrow. "Toilet buddy?"
"Um, yeah," I said. "He holds my backpack while I, uh, do my business." Captain
Astounding politely asked, "Why don't you answer the call of nature while wearing
your backpack?"
"Um, I just can't. It's a human traditional ritual thing, you know," I lied.
"Whatever. Humans sure are strange," Captain Astounding shrugged. "Go down
that corridor, third door on your left."
I handed my backpack to Bluefire104, scurried down the corridor, and stood
in the bathroom for a minute or so, hoping no one would come in and ask me why
I was just standing there twiddling my thumbs. After I had entered the main
room once again, I sidled up next to Captain Astounding.
"Hey, you wouldn't know where the hideout of the Magnificent Grarrls is, would
you?" I asked slyly. "You see, I was looking for it so I could do an interview
with them."
"You don't say?" Captain Astounding said, stroking his chin. "Well, it's your
lucky day. This is the hideout of the Magnificent Grarrls."
I pretended to look shocked, as if I had just seen Dr Sloth run through the
pound with My Little Uni underwear on his head. "Really?" I gasped. "Well, while
I'm here, why don't I interview you guys?"
"I don't know," Captain Astounding said, looking a little uncertain. "Just
wait a second."
Turning around, he blew a strangely shaped metal whistle, and the two other
Grarrls jumped to attention, while an extremely bright streak of light resembling
a bolt of lightning entered the room. I shielded my eyes to avoid being blinded,
and heard the Grarrls (and the streak of light, which I learnt later was Electro-Boy)
discuss the matter at hand hurriedly. They finished their impromptu huddle,
and I heard Captain Astounding whispered something to Electro-Boy. Suddenly,
Electro-Boy's light dimmed to about the brightness of a street lamp. I stopped
shielding my face, but although the light was bearable, I found I still could
not look at Electro-Boy directly without hurting my eyes. When I did catch a
quick glimpse, I realized he was holding an electricity cable. Seeing my confused
expression, The Wall kindly explained that Electro-Boy was in fact supplying
extra electricity to a Capacavolt 50, and in the process, recharging it. I nodded
my head, and started the interview.
Bluescorchio104: So, how did you guys meet?
Captain Astounding: Well, it was at the height of the summer. After hearing
each other play, we decided to form a band.
Bluescorchio104: Excuse me? You guys were a band?
The Incredible Grarrl: Yep. We were the hottest thing in Neopia, after just
a few gigs. We were the Shish Ke-Bobs.
Bluescorchio104: The Shish Kebabs?
Electro-Boy: No, the Shish Kebobs We were all named Bob at the time, you see.
Bluescorchio104: Oh. So what happened?
The Wall: Well, we on tour. We were playing regularly at the Tyrannian Concert
Hall. One day, we were just hanging out behind the hall a few minutes before
we were scheduled to perform. Then, this weird mutant Grundo comes up to us,
and tells us he's our greatest fan. He gives us each this strange necklace,
with a medallion attached. So, not wanting for him to think we were discriminating
against mutants, we put on the medallions and thanked him.
Captain Astounding: The next thing we knew, we were strapped to these steel
tables in some kind of laboratory. The medallions were hung up on a rack nearby,
and it was then we realized we had been tricked. The medallions had really been
Obedience Medallions, you see. You know, the kind you buy in the Space Weaponry
shop to use in the Battledome.
The Wall: We were zapped as part of some sick experiment. Sloth himself was
there, working the Gamma Monitoring Consoles personally. These poor Grundos
were running around serving him mindlessly, with Slave Collars around their
necks. The experiment zaps knocked us out. When we came to, we were…
The Incredible Grarrl: Like we are now. I think out of all of us, Electro-Boy
took it hardest. Captain Astounding and me looked pretty normal, and even the
Wall didn't look too weird, but poor Electro-Boy definitely did not look normal.
Bluescorchio104: I see. How did you escape?
Captain Astounding: After discovering we each had a unique… gift… we decided
bust out of Sloth's lab while we had the chance. So, Electro-Boy short-circuited
the defense and alarm systems, The Wall smashed through the walls, and the Incredible
Grarrl and I took care of the guards.
Bluescorchio104: How did you decide to turn your skills to crime-fighting?
Electro-Boy: Well, we had a hard time fitting in, in the beginning. Me especially.
But after a while, Neopians began to notice that The Wall, Captain Astounding,
and The Incredible Grarrl had skills that couldn't be passed off as Battledome
abilities as well. Some Neopians were scared of us, others hated us with a passion.
Heck, some of them even tried to hold a witch-hunt, and do the whole flaming
torches and pitchforks thing. So, we sought refuge from them in what is now
our hideout. We eventually realized that we had to show them that we didn't
want to hurt the public of Neopia; that they had no reason to be scared of us.
So, what better way to do it than to do good deeds? And finally we found that
crime-fighting was our thing.
Bluescorchio104: Wow. And what's that thingy for? (points to huge complicated
computer)
Electro-Boy: Oh, I designed that, actually. It's a super-computer called the
Dextragraxonozap 2000. It lets us know of any crime or trouble in Neopia Central.
Next I'm going modify it a bit, bounce the signal off a few satellites and maybe
even utilize the Virtupets Space Station's computers to spot trouble all over
Neopia. If I can hack into their system, that is.
The Incredible Grarrl: But we just use it to watch TV most of the time. It
has 968 channels, you know. That was what I was doing when you arrived.
Bluescorchio104: Hmmm. What are your real names?
Captain Astounding: I'm afraid we can't release that information. It's classified.
Bluecorchio104: Well, I know The Wall has amazing strength, and Electro-Boy
can generate electricity, but what are your and The Incredible Grarrl's gifts?
The Incredible Grarrl: Don't you ever watch the news?
Captain Astounding: You'll just have to find out for yourself.
The Wall: (studies the Dextragraxonozap 2000 carefully) Captain Astounding?
We seem to have a spot of trouble in the junction of Soup Alley and Main Street.
Looks like Meuka's playing up again.
And so, the interview ended. The Grarrls rushed off to apprehend Meuka, and
Bluefire104 and I were ushered out. And so ends yet another instalment in the
series of 'Heroes of Neopia'.
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