Know of Him, Find Him, and Kick Him in the Tail - Garoo
GALLERY OF EVIL - It's been a while since Commander Garoo was declared the new
psychopath on the loose for the Defenders of Neopia (And Surrounding Planets,
according to this plot). Well, as far as I can tell, those that could have beaten
him, and those that couldn't have given up, judging by the length of time it's
been. Well, those that haven't, good news, I'm here to walk you through it every
step of the way. Plus, I'll clue anyone else in the needs clueing in.
We see Captain K's ship flying through the void of space. Unfortunately, Captain
K's name is a registered trademark of Crunchy Kacheek Cereal, and I might owe
them a Neopoint every time I say it. There goes two of 'em. Anyway, this, erm,
Mr. K? Do they own that, too? No? Good. Okay, Mr. K picks up life-sings from
a planet with no atmosphere. He lands on it, because he wants to see what's
going on-- but here's where it gets interesting. Since there's life-signs, yet
no air, and he finds this peculiar, that implies that Neopets breath. However,
since the lower half of his mask is open, and he's in the void of space, that
suggests he doesn't breather. Yet, at the same time, if Neopets didn't breathe,
life-signs on a planet with no atmosphere would be the norm. In the words of
Mr. K: "Hmm, this is very strange indeed." Anyway, enough with science, back
to the thing this is about-- the plot. After he expels some smoke from his...
tail, we'll say it's his tail, we see Garoo conversing with his overtly happy
minion. The odd thing is, they weren't on the planet, which is where he was
getting the life-signs from-- okay, I promise to leave science out of this from
now on. Heck, I'll leave logical reasoning out too, just for good measure.
Next, they beam him up with this ray thingy all the way from the planet; but
I promised to leave logical reasoning out, so I will refrain from commenting
on that. Garoo then has his little giddy moment of victory, mentions the name
I can't mention, and will now be charged a Neopoint. I guess they'll just send
the bill to Dr. Sloth... that should go over big. Finally, there's a call for
help, and we're left to drool at two very lovely heroines. Speaking of which,
can anyone give me the phone number of that Aisha? I'll pay in cash. If this
is you reading this, meet me at the Golden Dubloon, 9:00 PM NST, sometime soon.
Okay, now that you're clued in, it's time to go find that 'Roo! Unfortunately,
he can only be found through a random event, which means refresh, refresh, refresh,
and the some. The place you'll be refreshing is the VirtuPets Space Station,
main deck. The strategy? Hammer at the refresh button monotonously until he
appears. Hardly a strategy at all, if you ask me. Still, to keep you entertained,
the loudspeaker babbles pointless babble, and will eventually be a cause of
great psychological damage. Also, I've found that in that many refreshes, other
random events tend to happen. For instance, a friend of mine had all her pets
cursed by Hubrid with the Sneezles, an item turned to sludge, and one hundred
Neopoints found, all in the time waiting to find him, no joke! So just be aware
you might need some medicine after you're done...
With luck, you haven't given up, actually found him, and are ready for battle.
Without luck, you might as well go get that medicine and try again... for a
Commander Garoo is a moderately hard challenger, but he's got plenty of weaknesses.
His biggest weakness is that he mainly does one type of icon-- earth. He doesn't
just use it a lot, it's almost the only thing he uses. Between his Brown Clockwork
Grundo, and his personal weapons, he'll be dishing massive amounts of earth
at you nearly every round. Taking that into account, burrow practically buys
you an extra turn, since it almost always renders his attacks useless. Also,
any other earth-defending item is going to be a great help throughout the battle,
so I'd definitely recommend the Leaf Shield, or the Soul Stone, if you don't
have anything like those already. There's also a little secret, though it's
only semi-reliable-- on the third turn, he often does heavy defense, and virtually
no attack. Therefore, I really don't recommend using burrow or any other one-use
defense on that turn, since there's a chance it'll go to waste. It might not,
but burrow is a lifesaver, so to waste it is to be very sorry. Other than that,
try your hardest, try again, and kick his tail. If that doesn't work, take out
your aggression on... him. And when he beats you up again for that, go to the
healing springs, add a few more losses to your record, and train... for a long
time. He's not going anywhere, so in time, with training and new weapons, you'll
be able to beat 'im.
The Trophy, Elation of Victory, "Thanks!" From the Hog, Feeling of a Job
Well Done, and... I'm breaking the nifty format I had going with the titles.
Enjoy the trophy! Soak in the beauty of a little... bronze Garoo. Of course,
if you ever lose to him again, just put a pin in that little bugger and wish
it had the word "Voodoo" in it, even though it doesn't. Also, now that you've
"won", so to speak, people will send you things saying "how u find garo????"
if your name is ever posted anywhere on the site, or if you do something notable.
I never have figured out why they pick random people, but they do... Whoever
they are. They is a very annoying person. Anyway, congrat's on your victory,
and hopefully you'll be able to kick the next Defender of Neopia villain's butt.
By the way, my money's on "They" being the next enemy, considering how annoying
they are. Or, is that that "They is"?
Hope this helped, and may Garoo feel the blunt end of your Battle Potato!
Which basically means whack him with that spud, since it's all blunt...