Mutant Graveyard of NeoPoints by itsmejose |  |
HAUNTED WOODS - There are so many things that could keep a person from wanting
to play this game. It's slow, most levels don't give you more than 100 NP, the
food is gross, and the sounds are scary. Perhaps the most repulsive thing of all
is the hero, Albert the Kacheek. He used to be a cute little ordinary, yellow
Kacheek, then the greedy old Esophagor grabbed him and mutated him into a food-seeking
servant whose brains are visible to all. He is ordered to, "Fetch me my lunch
or you will remain a mutant forever!" Yes, he looks gross, but don't blame poor
Albert for it. At the end of some levels, you get to see this transformation,
and I guarantee you'll end up feeling more pity than revulsion.
If you're interested in playing-and earning a high score, or even a trophy-then
take my advice.
As you may have guessed, this game takes place in a graveyard, and there are
three things you must watch out for:
1. There is also a special kind of monster called a walking gravestone.
He waves his arms for four seconds, then jumps left, right, up, down, or diagonally.
After three times pausing and jumping, he freezes into a real gravestone for
about five seconds. It's a major problem when he blocks your path because
it may take him a while to get out of the way. However, he can't take one
of your three lives unless he actually lands on Albert.
2. There are two Ghostkerchiefs floating around the graveyard. They only
have to bump into you or pass over you to take a life, but they are generally
easy to avoid because they don't really want to get you. They waft along on
some invisible breeze, moving in one direction-up, down, left, or right-for
three seconds, then switching directions for another three, pretty predictably.
If they hit a wall, they will change direction then.
3. The third challenge is a creature labeled the "hideous tentacled eyeball
beast." Beware the eyeball beast. It does want to get you. The tentacles look
more like metal robot fingers as they reach out, trying to touch you after
you've past by. I think it may only want to make friends, but don't linger
in one spot near this creature or you'll lose a life! When the eyeball beast
is located in a corner, it is sometimes necessary to move past one side, wait
in the corner while he reaches out with one arm, then move past the other
side quickly. No more than two arms will come out at a time, so don't worry
too much about it!
When Albert is hit, he turns purple for about ten seconds. Don't worry about
hitting anything while you're purple because you can't lose a life then. Just
charge right through those Ghostkerchiefs!
Each level has ten spooky foods placed within a maze. Points are earned two
ways in this game: through finishing the level before the time runs out (you
get 100 seconds, and the clock disappears after a while) and through gathering
food, which are called prizes in the rules. The points of the prizes don't relate
to their actual cost at the Spooky Food Shop, but the two super rare prizes
are actual unbuyables: moldy cheese and apple lantern.
Here is a list of the prizes and their point values:
Claw-matoe - 2
Mashed Eye Potato - 3
Spooky Doughnut - 4
Pumpkin Cookies - 5
Tongue with Veggies - 6
Pork Snout - 8
Eye Candy - 10
Mummy Spaghetti - 25
Pumpkin Slice - 50
Bat Cookie - 100
Moldy Cheese - 500
Apple Lantern - 1000
Like other Neopian games, you get a maximum of 1000 NP, but you only need
a bit more than that to get a high score. In this game, as in my Neopian life,
I haven't come across the Apple Lantern yet, but if you're lucky enough to find
it, a trophy can't be far off. In my best game, I have found two Moldy Cheeses
(on different levels), plus a Bat Cookie. You can do the math. You know how
disappointing it is when you're playing the Igloo Garage Sale game and all you
get are one and two point items? Well, it seems like that in some levels, but
if you keep with it, you will be pleasantly surprised.
The strategy is basically to get food and avoid the monsters. Duh, right?
My method of moving is to push two arrow keys at once. This nearly replicates
the control of a joystick. Okay, not really, but as close as I can get. Sometimes
I want to scream because Albert is ssssoooo sssssllooooowwww (just like his
master, the Esophagor, speaks). You will have to learn a sense of timing with
the Ghostkerchiefs. Count the seconds to judge when they're going to move away,
then rush in there. However, because of the nature of a stone maze, they sometimes
work together to box you in and get you. Oh well, I don't think it's personal.
Just try to go for those items that are worth most, like go after Eye Candy
and above. Also, don't feel bad if the monsters force you to leave an item in
an alcove and come back to get it. One hundred seconds really is a lot of time
to get ten items, and Albert is faster than the Ghostkerchiefs. Just barely,
but he is.
Poor Albert, I really do feel for him. Kacheeks are so cute normally. Is there
anything else so hideous in Neopia? Unfortunately, yes. Have you seen the Neogreeting
with Florg? It's so bad that you can't see it without parental permission. It
makes the Esophagor look like a Faerie.
I don't know when Albert will have collected enough food. I believe the Esophagor
is some kind of mutated colony of soil microbes that decomposes food and never
dies. Shudder. However, if you want to help Albert a little, go feed the Esophagor
yourself. Maybe that way he can at least get a lunch break or figure out how
to get that eyeball beast to stop grabbing him every time he walks by.
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