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Neopedia : Sloths Grand Adventure

"I've had it! I'VE HAD IT!" screamed Dr. Sloth, slamming his fists on to his desk, causing Grundos to flee in all directions. It was never a good idea to be around Sloth when he was in a bad temper. "Another failed plan," he snarled, ripping up his latest scheme on world domination. "Those pesky Neopians have thwarted me for the last time!"

Fuming with anger, he snatched a dart off his desk and flung it at the dartboard across the room. He grinned momentarily as the dart hit right between the eyes of the Space Faerie image he had taped over the board. Slumping back into his chair he sighed and rubbed his temples, as many of his Grundo slaves scurried over, placing a pillow behind his aching back, and a footrest beneath his (rather rancid smelling) feet.

"What I need," he said to himself more than anyone, "is another planet, a BETTER planet, filled with submissive creatures!" he closed his eyes to imagine them. "Yes, they would obey me without question... then I would bring them here to smash the Neopets into oblivion and take back Neopia." A wicked smile spread across his face as he imagined the glorious end of those insatiable pests...

Dr. Sloth's eyes popped open. What was stopping him? Nothing, he thought, with a devious grin. "Prepare my spaceship!" he shouted to the useless little Grundos. "I'm going on a trip."

Days later, the radar on Sloth's vessel began to ping. Jerking to attention, he stared out the thick window. There, a blue and white ball was growing larger against a field of black. Sloth cackled with glee as his spacecraft zoomed closer to the unsuspecting planet.

With a metallic groan, the spacecraft settled on to the field Sloth had chosen as his landing zone. Heh, invasion zone is more like it, thought Sloth, placing a new battery pack into his portable ray gun. Opening up the hatch, he was met with bright sunlight. Dr. Sloth growled. When I'm leader of this pathetic planet, that will be the FIRST thing to go! Undeterred, Sloth stepped out onto the field of putrid, repulsive--

"Flowers!" he shuddered, disgusted by the bright yellow blossoms and massive amounts of dandelions. Twitching slightly he stomped through the vile things, stirring up the dandelions, and sending thousands of floating seeds into the air. "Waa-CHOO! Ahhchoo!" Sloth rubbed his nose in irritation. The darn things made his eyes water.

"Hee hee!"

Sloth stopped dead in his tracks. Had something just... giggled at him? He turned the crank of his ray gun to full blast, and spun around. There, staring at him with ridiculously large eyes was... well, he wasn't sure what it was. It was a large white puffball, not unlike the small dandelions littering the field. He heard another giggle behind him, and to his side. Sloth's right eye twitched. All around him were smiling, happy puffballs greeting him. "Well, they won't be happy... FOR LONG!" he yelled, zapping the offending puff creature with his ray gun. The puffball seemed to explode into thousands of pieces of fluff. Sloth smirked. This wouldn't be difficult at all...

With a sense of great satisfaction he watched the tiny remnants of the creature float down to the ground. However, his smirk faded, and he shrank back in horror, as he saw the moment they touched the ground, the tiny pieces began to enlarge and sprout big eyes of their own. To his further horror, the creatures spoke. "Yay! Thank you! Thank you! We wuv you! We wuv you!" and proceeded to hug his legs. Sloth's eyes bulged and his lips curled. On instinct, he began firing madly...

Twenty minutes later found Dr. Sloth running for dear life through the field. Behind him were thousands, no, millions, of happy fluffy creatures pledging their undying love and loyalty to him. "Pwease be our weader!" they shouted. "We wuv you!"

Screaming, Sloth raced back into his ship and slammed the hatch closed behind him. He leaned against the steel wall, panting. Through the window, the ludicrously cute creatures smiled and waved at him. "Pwease stay with us!"

Desperately, Sloth reached for the controls to escape this horrible, nightmarish place. He flicked a switch to initiate takeoff, but was met with only a dying whirring sound. Slowly, Sloth's eyes wandered to the fuel gage.


"We wuv you! We wuv you! Be our weader! We'll give you lots of huggy-wuggies!"

* * * * *

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" dripping in sweat, Sloth lurched out of his chair. Startled, the Grundos stared at their master. Had they done something wrong? They had tried to be quiet while he slept.

Looking around at the confused Grundo slaves, Sloth's racing heart began to slow again. It had been a dream. No... a nightmare! Shuddering at the memory, which was still fresh in his mind, he walked over to his Evil Plans for World Domination board, and wiped it off with his sleeve. He thought for a moment, then smirked as another vile scheme emerged in his mind. Maybe Neopia didn't look so bad after all...