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Neopedia : Armada

Kavennagh and Bartleby eye each other Now that their days of buccaneering on the high seas have long passed them by, Kavennagh the Kyrii and his old pal Bartleby the Skeith love to spend every afternoon reliving their past glories with a friendly game of Armada.

As each carefully navigates his fleet across the board, these two have been known to spin fantastic tales about their days as young pirates. Despite a friendship of many decades, when it comes to Armada, these two are all business. No quarter is asked for, and likewise none is given.

"Aye, are ye ready for yer daily floggin'?" Kavennagh asked as he pulled up his chair to sit across the board from Bartleby.

"Heave to!" Bartleby protested. "How soon ye be forgettin' the drubbin' I were givin' ye just yesterday afternoon. Tell me, old friend, has yer memory gotten THAT bad?"

"Ahoy, stripey, don't be worryin' about me and me memory," Kavennagh shot back. "Besides, I seem to be recalling that I'd won three days in a row before ye salvaged some dignity with that lucky win yesterday."

"Aye, I be understandin' now... whenever I be winnin', it's luck, but whenever ye manage to scrape by with a victory, well, that be skill, I suppose?" Bartleby asked.

"Precisely, old coat," Kavennagh chuckled as he set up the pieces...

The two pirates argue

Having played thousands of matches over the years, they didn't take very long to figure out each other's strategy. "Ahoy, swabby!" Kavennagh exclaimed. "Are ye honestly thinkin' that ye can bunch up in the corners against me? When will ye learn? That strategy weren't workin' twenty years ago when you were Jack O' Cups on the S.S. Speedwocky, and it ain't workin' against me today!"

"Avast, laddie," Bartleby countered, "it were plenty good to give ye a righteous keelhaulin' yesterday! Why don't ye prove to me that it won't work? Besides, it's not like ye haven't been using that same strategy since ye were a sprog on the S.S. Kaulotta... I be practically havin' it memorised!"

"Aye, for someone who practically be havin' me strategy memorised, you sure be havin' a hard time beatin' it!" Kavennagh sneered. As the match wore on, the wise old Kyrii jumped out to a big lead. Once it started to look certain that he'd avenge the previous day's loss against Bartleby, the grizzly old Skeith grew nervous.

"Erm, Kavennagh," Bartleby asked, "aren't ye hungry? Methinks I'd like to be gettin' a bite--"

"Yer in luck!" Kavennagh responded as he reached under his chair. "I be havin' some Fresh Seaweed Pie right here. Help yerself..."

"Aye, I just remembered," Bartleby said anxiously as he moved one of the few ships he had left on the board, "I promised Captain Threelegs I'd drop by and visit one of his classes today..."

"Ahoy, Bartleby!" Kavennagh reminded him, then moved another ship. "That class ain't today; it be tomorrow, at noon."

Bartleby is nervous Man! Bartleby thought. There's no way I can be lettin' him beat me... I'll never be hearin' the end of it! Desperate for an excuse to get away before losing, the Skeith blurted out, "I were just rememberin', I forgot to turn off me oven. Ahoy, I've got to be goin' before me Neohome burns down!"

"Avast, silly freebooter," the Kyrii laughed. "Electric stoves haven't even been invented yet! Hey, ye aren't tryin' to sneak out on me, are ye?"

"Nay, of course not!" Bartleby shouted. "What sort of scallywag do you be takin' me for?"

"Yer right, what were I thinking? Besides," Kavennagh said as he picked up one of his ships, "thanks to this last move, I've just beat you and avenged me loss from yesterday..."

"WHAT?!?" Bartleby shouted as he looked at the board and saw it was true. Indeed, he had no more moves left, yet his fleet remained greatly outnumbered....