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March of the Jelly Beans
"Trudge onward, men!" the Usul cried;
"We march throughout the night!
To Jelly World, to Jelly World,
All fluffy pets unite!"
They marched through fog,
They marched through mist,
They marched through glacier hot,
Until they stumbled on a place
Where Jelly World was not.
The Usul cried, "This is the moon!
The map must be all wrong!"
But on they marched, past beach and shore,
All singing different songs.
The JubJub sang a marching song,
The Uni one she wrote;
The poor Kacheek was tone-deaf,
So he sang in just one note.
The Usul sang, "Stop all that noise!
You'll wake the flying fish!"
(They marched through marshy deserts,
But he kept them on a dish.)
So on they marched, in rows of oars,
Past cyclone and tornado;
A Chia cried, "The snow's too hot!"
For he was a tomato.
For months they marched, for weeks and days,
For hours and for minutes;
They marched for nanoseconds -- then
The marchers reached their limits.
"We won't go on!" a Kiko called.
"We're footsore and downhearted!"
"What do you mean?" the Usul cried.
"We haven't even started!"
The fluffy pets all listened 'round
And saw that this was true;
The front door lay before them,
And they hadn't yet walked through.
"You idiot!" they cried. "We've marched
In circles 'round the house!"
They threw the Usul in the closet,
Calling him a mouse.
He landed in a jelly,
So the marchers stomped away;
The Usul sat in sticky sweetness,
Calling, "No, men, stay!
Just look at all this jelly;
We have reached our goal at last!"
But the others would not listen to him,
Leaving him stuck fast.
So if you ride out on a quest,
With Slorgs to swiftly trot,
Then go to places that exist --
For Jelly World does not!
A monarch, a ruler,
A king at his best,
Yet when he was destined,
He failed the test.
One day it was stolen,
The Orb of great power,
His lands ceased to flourish,
No longer in flower.
Lord, after the thieves
Of his Orb he did ride,
To replenish his homeland,
And mend his rent pride.
Thus came on much havoc
And waste to the land.
The battle was won,
The Orb in his hand.
But after such torment
And war to destroy,
The Orb could no longer
Bring back fallen joy.
A tyrant, a villain,
A fiend to crush all,
Destroyed by the Orb,
He came to his fall.
All the stars do hide in fright,
No moon did clear the foggy night.
Dark fell the world; until a light
Burst into being, clear and bright.
But though our fire brightest red
Cooks the meals that keep us fed,
This spark shed naught but lonely cold,
Waving its vivid emerald.
A Shoyru's tail, a severed eye,
Numerous Petpets squeaked goodbye.
Below the pot, the fire crackled,
And above, the face of Edna cackled.
Somewhere a ghastly Lupe did howl,
Edna grinned; the time is now.
Potent power shimmered green,
The cauldron gave a malicious sheen.
While some villains in full daylight
Commit their crimes in plain sight,
Edna plots in shadows deep,
And roam while Neopia sleeps.
Around, around spun liquid ooze,
There is no way she could lose.
All she can do now is but wait,
Cackling as Neopia approaches its fate...
Oh, I Live in an Igloo
Oh, I live in an igloo
That sits up so high
Atop Terror Mountain
Way up in the sky,
Where the snow always falls,
And it never will stop,
And we freeze our tongues off
With a good Chia pop.
Oh, I live in an igloo,
It never gets warm,
You need a thick coat
To be safe from the storm,
Where you wander and blunder,
And when you don't try,
You can fall off a cliff
Like the Cliffhanger guy.
Oh, I live in an igloo,
It is rather nice
To live in the cold
In a house made of ice.
But now that I've had enough
Snow for a while,
I need a vacation
To Mystery Isle.
Ye Olde Infestation
Gentle breeze and trickling rain,
Fertile soil upon the plains,
Twisting curling thorny vines
Sprout like magic redefined.
"This is not a happy sight,"
Ye olde farmer frowns and cries,
"Berry bushes need some space;
Clear the weeds, I must, with haste!"
No one knew what was to come,
But chopping vines sounded like fun,
Hence many Neopets came to help,
And not one doubt was ever felt.
Slashing, cutting, hacking through
Thick green vines made many blue.
Disbelief was soon widespread
When they saw those weeds grow back.
Jaws dropped silently as they
Learnt the vines were here to stay.
But angry plants have maddened minds,
Thus up and up it began to climb.
Soon the deranged greens had reached
The floating citadel with ease,
Spreading out to wrap around
An unsuspecting victim found.
But Darigan saw it trespass
And marveled at the simple task:
One blow of his mighty whip,
Sent the weeds down in a heap.
Meri Acres Farm cheered out,
Never again would wild weeds sprout,
Though none knew that this "miracle"
Was done by their most feared rival.
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