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An Usul of Stout Heart
Young Hannah was a maiden,
An Usul of stout heart.
She'd always dreamed of adventure,
But did not know where to start.
One day after Hannah's evening shift,
She ventured to a dark old cave
Where she came across a book of maps,
Of traps and monsters for the brave.
Young Hannah said, "This is for me,
My chance to prove my worth.
My chance to earn a bit of dosh.
I've got treasure to unearth!"
She clambered over stony slopes,
She swam through murky pools.
She dodged fatal whistling arrows,
And was rewarded with chests of jewels.
She flew across deadly spike pits
And chasms of large measure.
She confronted bombs and vicious beasts,
While counting up her treasure.
Once Hannah had triumphed
Over the pirate caverns.
She did not want to return to her job
At the Krawk Island tavern.
So Hannah found another cave,
Full of snow and ice ghouls.
And this time with young Armin,
She triumphed deadly ice pools.
Now Hannah rests at her humble home.
No need to have a job.
After uncovering so many pieces o' eight,
She's richer than Chuffer Bob.
But her heart is getting restless,
She needs a new mission.
Another cave to challenge.
Her cloak's in need of swishin'.
The Ancient Pirate
In a long forgotten tavern,
Somewhere on Krawk Island,
A friendless Techo is deep in thought.
Distant memories of days gone by
Swim around in his old mind.
No more sword-fights in the sun,
No mutinies to lead.
Swashbuckling prospects are close to none,
Who knew that retirement brings
Loneliness and few good things?
If only he had stayed at home,
Ignoring his deep desire to roam,
His good friends would not have
Thought him hopelessly lost at sea
And moved away so suddenly.
He glances at the mocking sun,
Takes a sip of sourmelon brew
And hums one famous pirate tune.
The song he sang with gusto then,
Is now a melody of deep regret.
The Mutant Potion
The potion before me
Glows dull blue and green,
The wings on each side
Are graceful and lean.
I open the bottle,
Gulp down the insides
The gooey gray liquid
Down my throat slides.
From my pointed back
A spiky tail springs,
And now my two shoulders
Sprout two awesome wings!
My skin is dull blue
I give a great shout,
For I'm a mutant Scorchio
Both inside and out!
The Neopian Stockmarket
An easy way to make some cash,
Stocks shooting up in a flash.
Faerie Clothing and Chia Steels,
All a part of a great wheel.
Keeping the economy running smooth,
Yet there's a risk that you may lose.
Buy them low and sell them high,
Hope they rise unto the sky.
Although it often takes a while,
Seeing greens will make you smile.
All those red signs are no joke,
I hope they rise before I'm broke.
I check my folio everyday,
Hubert's Dogs may rise they say.
Yet my heart sinks when I see,
All the negatives from Yippee!
Kau-Kau Farm now don't you fall,
Or my head would bang the wall.
I envy Nigel in his car,
Such bright red seen from afar.
Designer suits and spiffy phones,
Never have I seen him groan.
Whatever the market he doesn't care,
As he still gets his 20 NP share.
Red and Green, Green and Red,
Colours flashing in my head.
Falling into vertigo,
Imagining my doubled gold.
Obsessed am I? How dare you claim!
After all I am quite sane!
Waking the Turmaculus
In a sleepy spot in Meridell,
The Turmaculus sleeps.
He sleeps throughout most of the day
And hardly ever peeps.
A Petpet may be able
To try and wake the brute,
They can kick him as hard as they can,
Or loudly play a flute.
You can scream into his ears,
Or give him a big shake,
You can bang some drums and hit him hard,
But still not make him wake!
No matter how much noise you make,
Still nine times out of ten,
He doesn't even stir a little,
You'll have to try again!
You go back the next day,
But he doesn't make a sound.
Your Petpet makes the loudest noise
Until both your ears pound.
You return to Meridell every day
And you think you have been beaten;
The Turmaculus opens his eyes
And your Petpet is eaten!
The Turmaculus then licks his lips
And drops back on the floor.
His eyes are closed tight shut again,
Once again he starts to snore.
What a waste of all your time,
To feed this massive best!
Your rare, expensive, painted Petpet
Must have been quite a feast!
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