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The 25 Uses of Dung
Dung, dung, wonderful dung.
Dung is so wonderful,
Especially when flung.
You can make it a dolly, a sword, or a shield,
Or you can fertilize a big park field.
A playpen, a pizza, a couch or a chair,
A basket, a box, or a gooey shirt to wear.
You can eat it or read it
Or wash it with a Dung Sink.
Have a carpet, or a shelf,
Or hurl it at a ratfink!
Chew the Chewing Dung!
Sit on the Dung Armchair!
Embroider your shorts with it
For that extra flair!
Of course, there's still the Dung Smoothie,
The Dung Reclining Chair,
The Dung Cream Sandwich, the Dung Shelf...
What could be next? Dung Underwear?!?
I've reached twenty-five;
My list just had to grow,
But I probably didn't have to use
All those synonyms for throw.
Where mottled seaweed twists and turns
And a steaming crater bubbles and burns
Where shadows gleam their eerie light
And grow longer with the aging night
Where pets are terrified to swim
And greyness glories, deep and grim
Where rocks stretch out their coarse hands
A faerie statue, silent, stands.
No longer the fear of the sea
Empty ears hear of her plea.
Now a stone figure, still and cold
Only her surprised face can we now behold.
A red necklace hangs 'round her neck
The only survivor of the wreck
Of Maraqua, once a thriving world
Into the whirlpool it was ripped and swirled.
Who knows what the faerie last thought,
As she was frozen, wildly distraught?
Perhaps it was for some awful crime...
But the only one who knows is time.
The Bakery is such a wonderful place.
Cakes and cookies all crammed in one space.
The smell lingers near me every day.
Any amount I am willing to pay
To get my hands on a decadent treat
With my pets whining for a share at my feet.
What peril would Neopia be
Without a bakery for you and me?
I certainly don't want to think of it
While gnawing on a Poogle Biscuit!
The baker, my friend, is a blue Kacheek.
Nobody dares to even sneak
A single sprinkle out of his shop.
He's not afraid to point you out
And loudly yell, "Stop!"
The Bakery uses the finest milk and honey.
I'm going there now! Can I borrow some money?
I jest you, my friend. Now I must depart.
There's nothing that can keep
The Bakery and me apart!
Save the Meepits!
As I walk with my pets, on this beautiful day
Everyone greets with something to say
Yet, the day is becoming sticky and warm
I wish I had something to drink,
In any shape, way, or form
I look all around for something to drink
Even a bathroom to get water from the sink!
My poor little pets are becoming so tired
They aren't getting the nourishment they desired!
Searching left and right,
I see a drinking fountain
That gives me quite the fright
It has knobs and levers; how does it work?!
I shall find out,
For something in the bush does lurk
It squeaks with delight at seeing us here,
While more little Meepits start to appear
We all have one feeling that is the same
Juice is what we want,
Before we burst into flame!
I look at the little faces,
And realize what I must do,
It's time to play hero, I must come through!
I tinker and play with the buttons and gears
After a grueling 15 minutes,
My little friends begin to cheer!
Juppie Juice for all, is what I proclaim!
Hero to the Meepits; that's my claim to fame
The Wheel's Temptation
The day was so boring, the time crawling by
So I got up and wandered through Faerieland
I saw a glimmer, and what caught my eye
Was a colourful structure, so vivid and grand.
A spectacular wheel, so tall and inviting
A beautiful faerie spinning it fast
There was money stacked up;
It was quite delighting
I couldn't resist and I couldn't walk past.
"It's the Wheel of Excitement, roll up! Roll up!
Only one hundred points a spin!"
I dropped my Neopoints into the cup
With a glimmer of hope that I would win.
The wheel began to spin, I was full of worry
As the symbols twirled around and round
I began to wish that it would hurry, but
Eventually it stopped with a cranking sound
The arrow had stopped on the mystery prize
I jumped up and down, excited with glee
I feel so embarrassed
When I remember my cries,
Of "The mystery prize: Oh, what could it be?"
The faerie just gave me a pitiful look
"You only win 24 points, I'm afraid."
I jumped up and down and my fists I shook,
And suddenly wished that I'd never paid!
Even though what I won really wasn't that great,
I'm sure I'll return again another day--
The wheel is so tempting, the prizes are bait
I'll keep coming back 'til I've nothing to pay!
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