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Never Laugh At the Tax Beast
"The Tax Beast is near!" the people cried.
"He took my money," an Aisha sighed.
His fangs were huge and his breath most rank
Why, oh why, did I not use the bank?
My wallet was full of points to spend
A thousand for me, a thousand to lend
"The Tax Beast?" I said with a laughing snort,
"If he comes near me I'll see him in court!"
And off I went, so filled with pride
My faithful Lenny flew near my side
The stores were packed with brand new things
There were tasty snacks and diamond rings
"Oh, what to buy?" I said to myself
A brand new tent, or an Usuki elf?
Or maybe I should just look some more
As I walked into another store
That store was filled with racks of candy
My eyes were wide, it all looked dandy
A moment later I walked back out
Some candy purchased so my Lenny won't pout
It was rather odd, as I looked around
The street was empty, no one was found
Well, more for me I thought with glee
(My first mistake, as you soon will see)
For, standing there, near the Rainbow Pool
Was a wicked beast who began to drool
I stopped in fright, too scared to speak
It was only seconds, but felt like a week!
And then it moved, looming next to me
"Taxes, NOW!" was its harsh decree
"Ta-taxes sir?" I think I spouted
"TAXES..." he said (well, no... he shouted!)
I couldn't move, no not an inch
Fright had gotten me in a clinch
The next thing I knew, I was on the floor
The Tax Beast was gone (He left me POOR!)
In my fear I had fainted quick
(Well, his breath was horrid... it made me sick!)
So he had helped himself to a chunk of my money
The Tax Beast, I thought, just was not funny!
Flight of the Kass Plushie
My little Kass plushie flies so far
Up to the sky and beyond the stars
He travels to places that I only dream
I imagine I hear his faraway scream.
With a swing of my bat, his journey begins
I know he enjoys it, so everyone wins!
At such dizzying heights he tries not to vomit
Past the Virtupets Station he flies like a comet
The Grundo Chef gasps,
"Sacre bleu! Qu'est-ce que c'est?"
And the Space Faerie waves him off on his way
When he gets back, I shake off the dirt
And try to make sure
That he didn't get hurt
Then it's back to the branch
Where another trip starts
I boldly salute as my plushie departs.
The Grey Wanderer
Wanderer of mist and shade
Under hazy yellow moonlight;
Ashen-faced with misery, made
Nameless before the velvet twilight.
Upon the dying breeze, a wail:
"Stripped of name, stripped of power!"
Laments the faerie Grey to no avail,
So shadow-pale in twilight hour.
Though many moons shall fall and rise
And stars so bright will doubtless fail,
She wanders the weary world and cries
Alone as she treads the shadow trail.
But she must swallow the hurt and shame,
And one last spell of hope she sings:
That she may soon find her name
And at long last claim her faerie wings.
Turmaculus, Don't Try!
Turmaculus: the King of Petpets, they say.
Lazily he sleeps all night and day.
In twenty-four hours
He can be woken just once.
Those who don't try,
Maybe they're not such a dunce.
Sing to him, tap dance,
Or hit him with sticks,
If he awakens you might
Get a treat or a trick.
He hands out money
Or treasure quite rare,
But sometimes he eats your
Precious Petpet with flair.
Petpets aren't safe
When the Turmaculus is awoken.
Even Jhudora knows it's best
To steer clear of him or be broken.
He gobbles them up
And leaves not a thing, not a bone.
He sends your pet running
And crying for home.
But we continue to bug him
And try to wake him from sleep,
Even when he eats your pet's friend
Named Babaa Bo Peep.
So take it from me, friend
Don't wake him, don't try.
When he eats your Meowclops
We know you'll just cry.
When You Met Jhudora
Faerieland is full of
Joy, happiness and grace
Spin the wheel, heal your pets
Or watch the Poogles race.
Fluffy, white clouds feel the air
Not one bit of sky is bare
But a strange purple shroud
Appeared one day
And lured all the happiness
And joy away.
A swamp so slimy, green and smelly
So sore and sickly, you'd clench your belly.
"Hello, my pretty!" said a voice from afar
Then came a cackle and a horrible laugh.
A shadow creeps closer, among the fog
It treads in the mud
And the sticky, green grog.
She sits upon her throne as she grins
You stare at the witch, committer of sins.
"Welcome to my home..." she spoke.
You couldn't reply, for you began to choke.
She watches your pain with a smile on her face,
She is rotten, showing her disgrace
Talking you into doing her a favour
You say no, appalled by her behaviour.
"You shouldn't have said that, no you will regret
Because everyone does what ever I set."
Her purple, gleaming eyes had shone
As she crabbed your knee,
Crushing one of your bones.
The clouds became green
And the sky had turned black,
A whirlwind emerged
From behind her back.
You feel yourself float,
Your head starts to spin
You feel pain as if you're
Being struck by darts or pins.
Her figure begins to disappear
And soon she is no longer here.
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