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My Ode to a Chocolate Duck Rump!
Once upon a Neopian time,
A friend asked me to make up a rhyme,
When announcing the subject,
He was sure it could stump
Any talented rhymer...
It was chocolate duck rump.
I tried in vain to think of a ditty,
And I desperately wished that I could be witty,
My heart began to shake and thump,
As I tried to think about a chocolate duck rump.
I looked around for inspiration,
Furrowing my brow in deep frustration,
And knew that I had hit a big hump,
Trying to write poetry
About a chocolate duck rump.
I began to worry - what would my friends think?
Would they suspect that I had turned to drink?
And that was when I came up with my trump!
I'll just make my friend eat
That darn chocolate duck rump!
Turdle Racing Contestants
Stinky is the fastest,
Most likely to win it,
You often see him snatch the lead,
In only the last minute.
Poopy is the second best,
Innocent he may look,
But this little sneaky fellow,
Knows every trick in the book!
Turdle three is Smelly,
He often wins the day,
Because he never takes a bath,
The others stay away!
And then of course there's Squelchy,
He's Turdle number four,
He often needs a little shove,
'Cause he sticks to the floor.
Finally there's Nutty,
Who runs straight to the line,
But uses so much energy,
He snoozes all the time!
So there are the contestants,
Pick one you think is best,
Then watch the race while hoping,
Your Turdle beats the rest!
Half Price Day
I was skipping along a fortnight ago,
On my way to see a Sticks N' Stones show.
Can you imagine just what I'd seen?
'Twas a glowing marquee, in hues of green.
"Sale!" it read, "Only today!"
Under it sat a huge display.
I walked over, and into the shop,
Where inside I found items like a mop.
I'd been needing a mirror, preferably zen,
To decorate my newly built den.
I looked to the right and saw it there,
A new mirror, an answer to my prayer.
I looked at the tag, next to it, on the floor,
The Neopoints were many,
Exactly seven-eighty four.
Haggling is what I decided to do,
'cause I could not buy it with five-sixty two.
I carried it up to the shop owner's table
And said I wanted it for less
Than what was on the label.
She looked at the label, and started to laugh,
"Today in this shop you can get it all for half!"
After a giggle, I handed over three-ninety two,
Then grabbed my mirror and bid her adieu.
I walked out, past the familiar display,
Knowing I'd remember this Half Price Day.
Darigan Paint Brush
A new way has arisen,
To honour our dark lord,
Though he is gone, he still lives on,
In heart, and in sharp sword,
Though the transformation's painful,
And alters your very soul,
The art of change, though quite deranged,
Makes you feel somehow whole,
Well groomed fur is lost beneath,
A mass of violet mane,
And from small paws, appear great claws,
That can easily cause great pain,
Teeth in need of straightening,
Are sharper than a blade,
Dental repairs are rather scarce,
For the dentist is often unmade,
Through each stroke of the paint brush,
You feel great strength start growing,
And rather fast, you can easily blast,
Your owner, without him knowing,
So if you find a Darigan paint brush,
Lying on the ground,
Marvel at, the wonder that,
You have just strangely found,
For if used by the chaotic,
'Neath starry midnight skies,
Keep horizon's wide, don't try to hide,
For the dark one will arise.
Deluxe Tonu Cracker
I first found the Tonu cracker,
While walking in the street.
Where the Grooming Parlour
And Health Food Shop,
Just begins to meet.
I picked it up with shaking paws,
Eyes widened in excite.
"I found a Tonu cracker!" I cried,
In voice filled with delight.
"I wonder what is in it?" I said,
"Oh, I just can't seem to wait!
Toys, food... rare items... new wishes,
What's my fate?
What about petpets?!
Can it happen? I don't know...
I guess I'll have to open it,
It's the only way to show!"
I trembled slowly at the thought,
Holding it within my paws.
"I must open it, I cannot wait!"
I said with a small pause.
I lifted one corner,
Green smoke was seeping out,
And I peeled back the other side,
Mind forming words of doubt.
I heard a loud BANG
As everything vibrated around me.
And the smoke was so thick,
There was nothing I could see.
As the emerald fog cleared away,
I saw a large wrapper...
Sitting lonely on the ground,
Without the Tonu cracker.
"W-where is it?!" I cried,
"Where are my prizes and gifts?!"
"I took them," rasped a scary voice,
"You're not very swift..."
"Who are you?" I asked with anger,
And with mock bravery.
"The Pant Devil, of course." replied the voice,
"At your service, if you please."
"Can I have them back?" I asked with fury,
As the smoke began to fade.
But before I asked a second time,
The Pant Devil had drifted away.
I started to walk home, head drooped,
And feet begun to drag.
When I found something laying on the street,
A Krawk goody bag.
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