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The Unlucky Battlecard
I found a lucky battlecard,
And put it in my shoe,
My Pteri followed me around,
So she'd have good luck too.
She followed me to the Training School,
And took my agility test,
She scored a perfect hundred,
And in defense she was the best.
She followed me 'round the Gormball field,
And scored about fifty-three points,
Whereas nobody ever passed to me,
And I broke all of my joints.
She followed me to Lupa's house,
And helped us mix some cakes,
Her's turned out fantabulous,
Mine didn't even bake.
When she followed me to our Neohome,
It was time to go to sleep,
Her dreams were full of White Chocolate Aishas,
And mine were full of creeps.
So when you find a battlecard,
And put it in your shoe,
Please take heed of the warning:
"Good luck will follow you.
We heard about you for what seemed like years
We wondered if we could grow asparagus spears
We signed up to get our free garden gnomes
We planned to place them near our Neohomes
We stocked up on plants and flowers
We hung out in the garden shop for hours
We bought and bought and bought some more
We all loved that garden shop store
We spent our Neopoints on flowers and shrubs
Just so we could join the clubs
We all want a garden and that is a fact
It will give our Neohomes a lovely impact
Everyday we check the news
It said no gardens yet and we had the blues
Slowly we sold off our garden supplies
We didn't know this, but it was not wise
Now the gardens they finally came
We our want a garden to put others to shame
We go check our safe deposit box
Not realising what we had done
Everything we bought is now gone
We slowly sold it in our Neo shops
We have no gnomes, no flowers or props
We have to go and buy more stuff
We find that this is real tough
Off to the garden shop we all go
To find out that we were just too slow
All the items there are bought
You find this happening to you a lot
You go to check out other peoples' shops
Your garden really needs some props
You look for gnomes, shrubs and flowers
You shop for hours and hours and hours
You see the prices are expensive
This you find really offensive
Things you sold for real cheap
The prices now, make you weep
Your garden you made is now real big
Too bad all it has in it is a measly little twig
If Neopia Was Perfect...
If Neopia was perfect
with everyone following the rules,
No user and no Pet
would be an idiotic fool.
There would be no hacking, scamming
and no one filling the boards by spamming
Every contest is running fair
No one would be unhappy;
If there were any it would be rare.
Pointless to swear, pointless to cuss,
Besides it would do no good to us.
If you use a Neopets bot
You will get caught!
Multiple accounts? There's no need
for you already have Pets to look after and feed
To frozen accounts you can say farewell
'cause you've learnt your lesson
And you'll obey the rules well
And if Neopia was a perfect place
with everyone following the rules
No user and no Pet
would be an idiotic fool.
Ack! My pet has Neogitus!
Achy Head and Reptillioritus!
I'll be needing Magic Goop,
Cactopus Cream and Sporkle Soup.
2000 NP here, 500 there,
750 for some Jelly Pills?
That seems fair...
Now you've got a Cricky Neck!
And NeoMites... just wait a sec...
Twenty grand for the Neezles Jab??
That can't be right, oh this is mad!
Ugga-Ugga, Blurred Vision,
Which cure to buy? Decisions, Decisions.
For goodness sakes, you've caught D'achoo!
Say what? You've got the Sneezles too?
Hoochie Coochies! Itchy Scratchies!
Neowarts and Neopox!
My bank account is dropping like
A sack chock full of rocks!
My shop's going out of business,
I guess this is the end for me...
Did you just say the Water Faerie
Heals my Pets for free?!?!
Once upon a time in Neopets,
There was a Lupe who always had frets,
"What if the sky should fall," he'd say,
"What if I will melt away,
What if my nose turns red,
What if I got lost in my bed."
This Lupe he would always worry,
About what if he caught scurvy,
He never went outside to play,
In his house he'd always stay,
Lupe would cry himself to sleep,
Until he was up to tears knee deep.
"Oh no," he cried, "now I will drown,"
Two sizes bigger did he frown,
Lupe swam up to his nice wooden door,
He braced himself against the floor,
And when he pushed the door it opened wide,
And Lupe stepped outside.
This Lupe is now outside all the time,
Sitting in the sun and drinking lime,
A worrin' he is not,
About what if the chair's to hot,
And now he is only scared at if,
The flowers he cannot sniff.
Total Poetry Pages : 1984
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