Together we battled Chives in the Battledome
Both lesser and greater varieties.
Chocolate covered Brussel Sprouts
Ambushed us on Mystery Island.

Ummagine Battle Muffins
Exploded all around us
In a skirmish at the Space Station.
Never have I seen
Grundo Warriors more terrified
In all of my Neopian travels.

In the Spooky Woods
Mutated Celery stalked us
Yet you were unflappable
In the face of the menace.
Edna the Witch
Cast a Lima Bean spell at you
But you jumped in her kettle
And stirred up your own nasty brew.

You are the king of the vegetable kingdom.
And when the NeoHome Gardens
Are finally planted
No self-respecting Neopet owner
Would leave his plants
Without the leadership
Of the noble Asparagus.

My Neopet won't eat fruit with breakfast.
She won't eat veggies at lunch.
I've tried feeding her all sorts of fresh salads
She replies, "Not now--thanks a bunch."

My Neopet eats cookies and candies
She won't eat anything healthy at all
She's ignored all the trainers at Grundo's Gym
And avoids the health shops in the malls

I really don't know just what else to do,
My Neopet will get sluggish and fat
All those Cheesy Neos
And Pink Sprinkle Doughnuts!
(You'd think I had a Skeith, instead of a Korbat).

I fretted and sweated, I panicked and wept
I feared my poor pet would die
'Til one day, after dinner I saw her...
She was munching Asparagus Pie!

Hooray for Asparagus Pie!

I was strolling about Neopia one day
When much to my surprise
The Asparagus Faerie gave me a gift
To open up my eyes.

"These glasses," she said, "are a unique thing
That will help you now to see
The wonders of Asparagus in the world
Wherever it might be."

As she vanished from sight, I put them on
And looked with awe all around.
I couldn't believe I'd never noticed
How much Asparagus did abound.

Where the clock was on the Guild HQ,
An Asparagus Pasty was in its place.
The statue in front of the Art Centre
Had an Asparagus smile on his face.

Meerca Chase used to center
Around Neggs yellow and red,
But now where its tail used to grow
It gained Asparagus Balls instead.

The Neopian Hotel was no longer
A building where you got a room and lunch.
Now it was a towering green and white box
Of Asparatastic Crunch.

I took off the glasses at the end of the day
And returned to my normal-seeing eyes.
But now when I go by the round arenas
I can only think of Asparagus Pies!

Other pets try the newest game crazes,
Questing, or skiing, or challenging mazes.
Other pets spin the faerie wheel,
So full of excitement they giggle and squeal.

But I'm still waiting
Anticipating...

Please let me spin for Asparagus Pie,
Softer and purer than clouds drifting by.
Where is the game I am dreaming of?
The one that is based on Asparagus love?

Other pets play with potions and brushes,
Changing their looks with magical plushes.
Other pets dress in color that sings,
Purple, or Rainbow, or bright Faerie wings.

But I'm still waiting
Anticipating...

When Paint Brushes change I always say,
Please send Asparagus brushes my way!
Paint me all slender and leafy and green.
Make me a pet that is fit to be seen!

Other pets run to the pirate lands
Finding Dubloons in the soft wet sands.
Other pets climb up mountains of ice
Saying cold slushes are really quite nice.

But I'm still waiting
Anticipating...

Please let me find the Asparagus world,
Where leafy banners are gladly unfurled,
Where Adam and Donna
Will surely take care of us,
Love us and feed us with lots of Asparagus!

What is in an Asparagus Pie,
That makes it so creamy,
So rich I could die?
The cooks who make them
Have kept the secret mum,
But today I'm on a mission
To figure out this conundrum.

I hop over to the Asparagus factory,
Where they make Asparagus
Taste more than satisfactory.
I sneak to the kitchen
Where the chefs are busy cooking,
While secretly inside their recipe book
I have been looking!

I fumble through "Asparagus Calls"
Passing by Cheesy Asparagus
And Asparagus Balls,
Though all these recipes
Do sound kind of tasty,
Asparagus Pie is better
Than a Spinach and Asparagus Pasty!

I've found Asparagus Pie's recipe,
"EUREKA!" I joyfully shout in glee,
Uh oh! A chef has found me in their secret book!
"B-B-Buh-But I was only going to take a look!"

This Grundo Chef shakes his head angrily,
He grinds his teeth and stares at me!
Then picks me up and kicks me out,
I don't even have a chance to pout!

Oh well, today the recipe I do not know,
What makes Asparagus Pie delicious so,
But I'll just relax and bide my time,
For soon the recipe shall be mine!