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SLOTH APPRECIATION DAY SPECIAL
Dr. Sloth's Fan Club
A group of five 'pets sit
quietly around a table,
thinking about a handsome
ruler who is capable.
"We love Dr. Sloth!"
a green Grundo proclaims.
"Once he takes over, nothing
will ever be the same!"
"Yes, we love Dr. Sloth!"
A blue Ruki cheers.
"And all who oppose him
will suffer their greatest fears!"
A red Chia adds in,
"Dr. Sloth is so great,
Plotting doom in his
fortress in space!"
A yellow Krawk continues with,
"Praise him or be cursed!
For soon, Dr. Sloth
shall rule the universe!"
At this, a red Korbat goes,
"No! He must be stopped!
The Space Faerie will save us!
How can she not?"
At this point a trio
of mutant Grundos appear
and drag the small 'pet away,
screaming through tears...
and through the view-screen
Dr. Sloth watches the test.
It would seem that the mind-control device
isn't one-hundred percent perfected yet.
Sloth The Perfect Villain
Hooray for Dr. Sloth today!
My most favourite guy around,
Every time I see him
I cannot make a sound,
Except a strangled little noise
In the back part of my throat,
Because he's truly that amazing
And he'll always get my vote!
I'm a fanboy for that Dr. Sloth,
I'd be his minion any day,
If he would only let me
I'd swear not to betray,
Because it's not easy being evil,
And I'd like to help him out,
I'd double check his plans for him
So there'd never be a doubt,
That everything would be perfect
When he tried a wicked plot,
And if he used a laser
He'd get the perfect shot!
I appreciate you, Dr. Sloth,
The villain that's the best,
Let me come and work for you
And I'll proudly wear your crest!
I'll have a little poster
In my tiny space at work,
With your famous face upon it
Not forgetting your evil smirk,
So let me join your minions,
I'll be the best of all,
If I don't hear back pretty soon,
I think I might just bawl.
The Sloth Support Group
Welcome to the Sloth Support Group,
feel free to take a seat!
We, together, all of us
will prevent another defeat.
The man's a genius, tried and true,
albeit a little bit misguided.
But come on people, let's cheer him on!
With Sloth we will be united!
Perhaps other less intelligent folks
will frown upon our mission.
I hardly think that's room for concern,
because we don't need their permission.
"Hoorah, hoorah! Sloth's the man!"
through the streets we all will cheer.
For, if we stand for Sloth,
we will have nothing at all to fear.
So, let's go grab our picket signs
and march on, our message known.
Sloth is waiting and we won't disappoint,
together we will build his throne!
In Praise Of Dr. Sloth
He is everyone's favorite villain,
Though battles he will often lose,
Should it ever come to picking sides
Team Sloth would be the one I'd choose
Firstly, the clones are plain awesome,
Plus an enormous army of them to boot!
A force simply strong enough to conquer
The kind of power most repute
Lucky few know of his generous side,
Those visited by his better Random Event,
For every transmogrification potion received,
Can you imagine just how much each meant?
Despite numerous failed attempts,
World domination could be his one day,
No matter who may come to save us all,
Soon you might be seeing things his way
Since his bout in the Space Faerie's token
Not a soul has seen evidence of his reign,
Don't let your guard slip away in time,
We're surely going to see him again!
With big plans in his head and
Sloth came to this world
Long before Neopets types
Did inhabit it.
He loved the dark
Purple poisonous clouds that
Enveloped the world;
They kept the evil,
Burning sun from searing his
Dank, green countenance.
Until that day when
The clouds suddenly parted;
Frank retreated then,
His scientific creatures
Melting in the light.
Where the sun touched, plants
Began to grow; then out of
Nowhere... POOF! A flash
Of light revealed
A new individual,
The first Neopet!
More flashes of light
Later, and there were quite a
Few 'pet species there.
Witnessing these new
Lifeforms, Sloth hatched a new plan
Inside his foul skull...
The Dainty Happiness Faerie
Doctor Sloth is quite adept
At masquerading as
A dainty faerie clad in wings
Made out of cardboard slabs!
His manner changes stealthily,
Becoming mild and sweet.
He carries a bouquet of buds
For everyone he meets!
His eyes turn wide and innocent.
His evil grin is gone.
Of all the faeries, he's the best.
He is the paragon!
So shake his hand, and kiss him, too,
If you should spot his self,
Before he doffs his faerie guise
And stacks it on his shelf!
An Ode To The Glory Of Dr. Frank Sloth
O glorious Sloth! O wondrous Sloth!
Your royalty is clear;
Because of you, the bells of freedom
ring both far and near!
O loving Sloth! O caring Sloth!
Your majesty astounds me!
Your glowing smile sends out the light
that glitters all around me!
O friendly Sloth! O heav'nly Sloth!
You are the one to thank
for all the goodness in the world!
Oh, thank you! Thank you, Frank!
O honored Sloth! O godlike Sloth!
We all bow down to thee!
Because of your benevolence,
we live in harmony!
O glorious Sloth! O wondrous Sloth!
To you our praise we give!
And all we ask for in return
is please, just let us live!
A Tear For Sloth
Perfection! Sloth though,
So dark and so dreary...
Neopia is like one giant lab!
But once he'd settled and established himself,
his happiness, Neopia did nab.
Imagine finding a place to call home,
just to have it taken away.
Sloth lived in a world where no Neopets roam,
but this changed with a small sunshine ray.
"I must escape, take me away from this place!"
Sloth cried, Sloth begged, Sloth pleaded.
He packed up his bags and planned to escape,
"This isn't the world that I needed!"
"Life-form Detected! Life-form Detected!"
his system informed him at once.
He saw two Neopets crawling along,
"Hmm... perhaps, this is a bunce?"
A glimmer of hope appeared in his life,
but unfortunately, this quickly did fade.
The Space Faerie constantly interrupted
the amazing plans he had laid.
We need not love him, we need be minions,
and we need not give him a statue.
But at least we must try and give him a tear,
for these plans that went down the loo.
Sloth Appreciation Day (For What We Don't Know)
We bow before
This egotistical maniac,
Who is also
A self proclaimed brainiac.
He is charasmatic,
With a huge gleaming smile,
He's as good as stagnated water
That has been sitting out for a while.
He has a bad case of meglomania,
Demanding all that he sees,
He's as chilly to us
As a cold winter's breeze.
He wears a long, dark robe;
I swear this guy is creepy!
Just hearing his name
Makes babies get weepy.
Why do we celebrate him?
I really don't know...
I think TNT is afraid
He'll bust up in their office
With a pack of Laugh Grenades
And destroy all the progress
This most awesome site has made.
To keep him happy
They gave him this day,
Hoping silently that it may
Keep him far, far away.
I wish to Fyora
I had better things to say,
Since this is supposed to be
The most infamous Sloth Appreciation Day...
Dear Dr. Sloth
What's up with your horrid collar?
And that sinister smile
Always on your profile
Made many Neopians
Hang onto their lives so dear;
Your evil grin made plenty cower in fear
"The doc's so freaky!" oh yes he swore,
cried that cowardly Lupe who lived next door.
Your midnight tales
Made faces pale,
As the stories were told by mothers
whose children could never be naughtier.
"His voice, hoarse as ever," she said
Were awful enough
To make an army of undead
With a piercing stare and a simple boo
Were more than enough
To scare off Count Von Roo.
Disliked by many,
feared by plenty,
The great old Dr. Sloth's anniversary
Has arrived yet again in January.
Remembered by your servants, the Grundos,
We shall celebrate another year of woes.
A toast, a toast!
To everyone before someone chokes.
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