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SKEITH DAY SPECIAL
The Ballad Of Sir Pompadour
He's Sir Pompadour,
With looks galore.
He keeps his head of hair shiny
With a vinyl polymer.
And he fancies himself
A naval commodore,
As he searches for sunken treasure
With his home-made hydrometer.
If you ever meet a Skeith
That's a bit of a bore,
Chances are good that
It's Sir Pompadour.
Yes, Sir Pompadour,
In his boat right offshore.
He's hired Maraquan Petpets
To explore the ocean's floor,
Because he came across a book
Filled with forgotten lore;
Of lost jewelry and coins
made of precious metal ore,
Resting beneath the waves
In water too deep to personally explore.
That's the M.O.
Of Sir Pompadour.
It's Sir Pompadour,
Whom the hair stylists adore.
Though he doesn't let them touch
His treasured 'do anymore.
Because of a bad hair cut
That left him bald and sore,
When he was just a lad
Of three years, or four.
At least, that is the story
Told by the gossiper,
Of that treasure hunter we adore,
Stylish Sir Pompadour!
Crafty in nature,
Malkus rarely commits
His vile schemes himself.
He prefers instead
To let other 'pets carry
Out his dirty work.
Used to work for him.
This Meerca pair is
Responsible for many
(Like a Zafara’s
Homework-filled backpack, while she
Was out for a swim.)
Their most famous heist
Would undoubtedly be when
They stole Coltzan’s crown.
It was found, but Malkus gave
Everyone the slip.
Where could he be now?
Might he be plotting again
In some forlorn place?
Only time can tell;
The Defenders have yet to
Capture this villain.
The Guarding Skeiths
Seven sturdy Skeiths stood still.
Their glaring eyes and menacing smiles
Brought fear to those who tried to pass.
Seven sturdy Skeiths stood as sentinels.
Neighbours never neared at night.
Their pointed claws and rusting armour
Filled the hearts of weary travelers with fright.
Neighbours never neared at noon nor night.
Only one dared pass the gates of terror,
Only one dared look in their eyes of horror,
All but one made the very same error
Seven silent Skeiths stood strong.
Fulfilling their duties day and night
As guards protecting their cherished city.
Seven silent Skeiths stood scrupulously.
Fiends feared for their fates.
Not wanting to upset the guards,
They steer clear of the iron gates.
Fiends foolishly feared for their fates.
Only two dared pass the gates of terror
Only two dared look in their eyes of horror
All but two made the very same error
I speak of you and me,
For now you know and will remember,
That not all is what it seems to be.
Skeiths are loyal and trustworthy,
But are often mistaken for harmful brutes.
Truth cannot be seen with our eyes,
For we are blinded by all the lies.
The Vile Malkus Vile
Of all the criminals,
in all of the lands,
there is one who has
a lot on his hands.
Malkus Vile is his name,
and he lives a life of crime,
he also uses the Meerca Henchmen
to help him avoid serving time.
From minor crimes and thefts
he orchestrates several works,
from stealing petty Neopoints
and even children's homework.
But his biggest heist was
one that is several years old,
by organizing the theft of
Coltzan's crown of gold!
It took ages to locate,
but the crown was soon found
on the shores of Mystery Island,
buried slightly underground.
Since then, Malkus is in hiding,
but his crimes still are abound,
it might just be the Pant Devil,
or it could mean Malkus is around.
Our Cumbersome Friend
Our cumbersome friend,
Those devious eyes,
A hungry smile upon his face
Of a rather tubby size.
Don't be fooled by humble appearances,
For our Skeith friend is sharp and quick,
A feast is what he is seeking,
Consisting of what? It doesn't matter,
It's the eating that is the kick.
Lazy Skeith laid out in the sun,
With only one thing on his mind,
Where is the next meal to come from?
Upon which he will dine?
Making other smaller beings
Do all his hard work for him,
Could a life like this ever satisfy?
For our dear Skeith, yes!
For his brain can be dimmed,
As long as his tummy is filled.
Lounging Skeith, greedy Skeith,
One day you will have to learn,
But seeing as you are Neopia's largest,
I'm sure the winds are not going to turn.
So enjoy Skeith Day, eat plenty of cake,
And everything else, for that matter!
Malkus Vile, Skeith Criminal
Malkus Vile the mastermind
Is criminal elite.
He leads a group of henchmen and
He loves to lie and cheat!
Heermeedjit and Merouladen
Were once his private thieves.
Together they stole Coltzan's crown,
Which was no easy feat!
The Meercas now work on their own,
They've left Vile's leadership.
Don't try to capture either one,
They'll give you all the slip!
Now Malkus Vile leads other thieves
To carry on his heists.
They revel in their villainy.
Their golden loot is nice!
Don't try to capture Malkus Vile.
He's nothing if not sly.
His hands are clean, his henchmen do
The bad deeds in his mind!
The National Neopian Bank
It's a place you can't miss,
With those guards outside.
If their eyes are on you,
You'd better run and hide.
"What can I do for you today?"
Asks the crafty Skeith,
But his eyes are on your money,
And he's showing his teeth.
"Deposit in my bank,
It won't cost you (much).
If your money's still there,
You'll know I didn't touch."
By his words and his smile,
You know you'll have to agree.
Or he'll knock you out,
And take it easily.
If you try to withdraw,
He won't be real glad.
The more times you do it,
The more he'll get mad.
"Get out! Get out!
And don't come back in!"
No matter the case,
Green Skeiths always win.
Life Lessons From An Ol' Skeith
The most memorable conversation
That I've ever had
Came from an old weathered Skeith
Who loved life
Too much to ever be sad
She had lived her life to its fullest
Exploring all the land
She said we're nothing more than small grains
In a big bottle of sand
She had loved her life,
And all of those in it,
She said to cherish everyday,
Even the bad, and love every minute
She had lost so much
Along the way;
She said I'd have hard times,
But tomorrow brings a new day
She had found friendships
That had enlightened her so,
She said to never take anyone for granted
Since one day they would go
I was saddened to tears,
What a sad tale she told,
She could barely walk and wore dentures
The consequences of getting old
I was touched by her strength
And the wisdom she bestowed,
All of her heartaches and regrets
On her withered face showed
Don't look so upset
She began to say,
I'm only twenty-two hours old
And was painted elderly yesterday
Collecting Daily Interest
There’s no one I trust more,
Than the keeper of my bank.
He’s a useful Neopian,
Whom I’d wish to thank.
When I save my Neopoints,
He rewards me with more!
It happens so quickly
When I walk right in the door.
He doesn’t even charge me
For all my banking needs.
Even if I come back again,
With even more proceeds.
Whether it’s from games
Or sales on the Trading Post.
This Skeith won’t stop me;
He’s the modest banking host.
My dream is for the title,
For the biggest bank account.
The Ultimate Riches!
It’s too much to try to count.
So thank you, kind sir,
For safekeeping the bank for me.
You’re reliable and efficient:
The perfect kind of trustee!
The Bank Manager's Lament
Greetings! I am the prestigious owner
Of Neopia's banking center.
I decided to ask some questions
Of the next patron to enter:
Why doesn't anyone seem to like me?
Is it because I'm a Skeith?
I'm only seeking basic respect here,
Not to be given a laurel wreath.
But every Neopet and Neopian
That walks through our front doors
Acts like dealing with me is, at best,
The most odious of chores.
I don't see why! I'm quite polite!
Though perhaps a bit impersonal.
But really, I always try to be
The finest in bank personnel.
"Good morning, sir," I say to the gents.
And to ladies, "Good morning, madam."
(I don't choose to use their proper names,
As I don't know these folks from Adam!)
They demand their interest Neopoints first --
At least, if they recall to collect it.
Some do other transactions before that one,
Then gripe awfully when I reject it!
For those who dislike the bank,
They visit us quite a ton.
Withdrawing and depositing dribs and drabs,
Instead of one lump sum.
I may stop them withdrawing Neopoints
More than fifteen times per day,
But it's not MY fault they can't predict
What bills they'll need to pay!
My staff, you know, is paid by the hour
And their patience can wear thin.
(Not counting the volunteer labor force
From Trouble at the National Neopian!)
Bank regulations may seem too strict
And make you grind your teeth.
But really, stop and try to see it
From the viewpoint of this Skeith.
The National Neopian would quickly fall
Into a state of utter confusion,
If I allowed customers to make transactions
Based on each flighty whim or effusion.
Honestly, have you seen our other patrons?
We get all kinds, I say! All types!
Some wear muumuus. Some wear shorts.
Some, masks accessorized with stripes.
That latter selection of clientele
Make more withdrawals than deposits.
I hesitate to stereotype, but believe
That this is one that fits!
Some professionals also need to ally
With our bank, for a business reason.
The Tax Beast stores his profits here --
Accumulated loot gets heavy in a season!
Lawyerbot is another celebrity
Who seeks our vault's protection.
He isn't storing legal documents,
Just his Usuki collection!
Responsibility for our various holdings
Is quite a solemn duty, you see.
Such onerous work from ten A.M.
'Til I get off at three!
Consider all these awful burdens
I must struggle underneath.
If I seem grumpy, it's from stress,
Not because I am a Skeith!
I do have feelings too, you know,
Although they rarely surface.
I'm not a cash-dispensing machine,
Though viewed as for that purpose!
So, in the future, when visiting the bank,
Please try this softer side to see.
Don't just daily take your interest,
Take an interest in ME!
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