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Neopets Poems

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A Mutant Gathering
by Kuroge

A wonderful meeting on
such a beautiful day,
of the most unique 'pets,
I do dare to say.

Laughters and cheers
do fill the idillic mood,
the mahogany tables
brim with so much food.

A Hissi with two heads
that fight for the center stage,
the two opposites are
never on the same page.

The hungry Techo
stuffs chunks of fruit,
too occupied to listen
to the Hissi's dispute.

A mutant Chomby 
performs some tricks,
and a mutant Usul
joins the hearty mix.

A mutant Pteri readies
to start singing a song,
a cacophony of noises
when others sing along.

An inspiring sight
for others to behold,
each so special,
so daring and bold.

Vabid The Mutant Buzz
by Agedbeauty

In the silence of
The Haunted Wood
Something eerie lurks

Don’t run, just
Walk, but calmly
Don’t let him know you fear

Don’t stop, and
Don’t pause, lest
You draw his attention

With eyes an eerie
Crimson red
And claws that are
Dagger sharp
A tail he wields as
A club
And wings that
Rent the air

You might wonder
How he is so at home
So natural
In the depths of silence
Because the truth is
If you hear him
You’re already 
Far too late

So, don’t let panic
Taint the air
As you walk in the silence

Don’t let your heart
Beat too hard, too fast
And loud enough to be heard

Or else darkness might hear
In the guise of a mutant Buzz
Known only as Vabid

Delicious Mutant
by Dr_tomoe

Today is a day to celebrate
Mutants all around Neopia,
And although they might be scary,
There's no need for a mutant phobia.

And while we all have our favorite
'Pets and Petpets of the mutant kind,
There is delicious mutant food out there
To snack on and unwind.

For starters, start off Mutant Day
With a delicious breakfast.
Have a Tall Stack of Mutant Pancakes
Followed by some soggy Mutant Toast.

If your stomach can still go on,
A delicious Mutant Hot Dog is fine,
And, although it's lunch, try a Mutant Negg,
Those are good at any time.

And now it's dinner time, and there is
more Mutant Food to devour.
A Mutant Cheese Pizza Slice is nice
If you can keep it from a Mutant Flowper.

But just that isn't a meal, you need some
Mutant fruits and vegetables.
So, some Mutant Tigersquash is available,
If you can keep the tentacles on the table.

And now you can have a Mutant Milkshake
Filled with an oozing, yellow broth.
And a Mutant Apple will keep the doctor away,
Unless, of course, it's Doctor Sloth.

So, now you see what a feast they have
With such delicious mutant "food,"
And now we hope that you can see that
Mutants really have it good.

So, enjoy a feast for Mutant Day,
Invite some over so they won't be blue,
Because if that was all you had to eat
Then you would be scary, too.

Mutants In Our Midst
by Mamasimios

Brainwashed, I suspect,
we all have been,
urged on by political correctness,
for who among us
have not seen
the mutants for their grotesqueness?

Their extra eyes and arms and scales,
their warty skin and spiky tails,
the drops of warm and slimy drool
that splashes to their feet in pools.

Acceptance, we know,
is what is preached.
We are told, "They're just like us,"
but do you not
shrink from their teeth
and claws and paws and pus?

Their clumpy fur and colours bright
that can be nice, but not quite right,
the bodies of enormous size,
the evil glinting in their eyes.

A warning, I must submit:
the mutants are not weak or sick,
they are purpose-made
(Part of some plot?)
"gifts" bestowed by Dr Sloth --
and though I do not wish to quarrel,
we ignore mutants at our peril.

A Hidden Mutant
by Regida

Tendrils of green slime
flow over rough scales,
hardening the appearance
of my dearest friend.

Hiding from the sunlight,
squinting tired eyes,
he wallows in his slime
with only his Babaa by his side.

He doesn't regret
becoming a mutant,
he detests the judgement
placed upon him.

But, once a year,
his time finally comes,
when he can glow
like the true 'pet he is.

He smooths down his fur,
washes away the slime,
and comes out from hiding
ready to shine.

The other 'pets fawn over him,
feeling his scales and fur,
giving him gifts of admiration
and words of good grace.

He adores the attention,
it's just enough for him,
he goes back into his den
ready to hide again.

Oh, Albert
by Redeemyourself

Mutants scare off many,
Appearing awfully scary.
They seem just so evil,
Compared to a faerie. 

There is one mutant
Who isn't all that mean.
A Kacheek named Albert,
With but only one dream. 

You see, he was enslaved,
By the Esophagor no less.
To search The Woods for food,
With a hope he will impress.

The Esophagor is hungry,
So Albert gets his food.
The Kacheek always wonders,
"When will this deal conclude?"

For, once the deal is over,
Albert will be freed.
He'll be mutant no more,
With no one else to feed.

But this deal has lasted,
With no end in sight.
He'll continue this deal,
All throughout the night.

The Esophagor is hungry,
What seems like all the time.
So, poor Albert searches,
Through mud and grime.

But Albert, it's Mutant Day.
Maybe this is your chance!
Bring the Esophagor food
And attempt to end this trance!

Mutant Melancholy
by Indulgences

Broken smiles and sidelong looks...
Their bodies slick with slime...
Their mouths spew drool, their noses drip...
Their hair is damp with grime...

The mutant class is frightful, yet
So many love their looks.
The mutant class is savage, strong.
It can't be overlooked!

I think their bodies singular.
I can't improve a thing.
They're fierce, majestic, dangerous.
They're mean and glowering.

It's Mutant Day, so keep in mind
That mutants need our love.
They're different from the other 'pets.
They're always being snubbed!

So, hug a mutant if you can.
Respect is overdue!
Today's the only day they have
To celebrate their hue!

Mutant Shopping Spree
by Jjquil

Four Neopet friends went to the NC Mall 
Seeking accessories from far and wide,
They'd tried every other clothing store
And had been quite dissatisfied.

See, these four friends were mutants:
Acara, Bori, Gelert, and Kacheek, 
And every tailor in every shop claimed 
They did not have what the quartet seeks.

"Mutants are too irregular," they were told, 
"With spikes and bumps and hunchbacks."
But the girls still wanted to look pretty 
And kept looking, regardless of facts. 

"The NC Mall must have something for us,"
The Acara said, and the others agreed. 
Lo and behold, there were 
Items marked Mutant
And they snatched them up in a stampede!

For the Gelert, a stylish spiked collar,
And the Acara, a tattered blue dress;
For the Bori, a crimson cape hemmed with gold,
And the Kacheek, a flowery headdress. 

The Gelert twisted and turned to see
The sunlight gleam on the collar,
"It's so shiny, the spikes are like jewels!"
She continued to bark and holler. 

The Acara stepped forth elegantly,
Marveling at the whisper-soft silk,
She couldn't believe this dress fit her,
"As pretty as Fyora's, and all faerie ilk."

The cape of red and gold swirled and flashed
As the proud Bori swung it to and fro, 
"It brings out my eyes, and looks so majestic,
I feel like the star of the show!"

"Why, these flowers do compliment my face,"
Said the Kacheek as she primped and preened.
"And they detract from my massive brain,
I daresay, now I look like a queen!"

The four friends were pleased with the outfits,
But alas, their hopes were soon dashed,
For, when they reached the register, 
They realized they had no Neocash.

Dr. Sloth's Mutant Commercial
by Kaylynn33333

Have you considered mutating your Neopet
With a stinky, bubbling ooze?
Go on, take Sloth's word for it --
What have you got to lose?

Your beloved 'pet has got, in fact,
A ton of things to gain:
Tentacles! Extra arms! Extra eyes!
A partly-exposed brain!

Just imagine the other 'pets you meet
Rushing away in fear.
Did I say "fear"? I meant "awe" --
Mutants' awesomeness is clear.

Think back to the first Mutant Day,
Back in Year Ought-Six.
Every Neopet was changed to mutant!
(Although it didn't stick.)

Screaming chaos filled the Neoboards,
But many players were happy.
It's not every day you get for free
A paint job that's so snappy!

Today you'd need to purchase a potion
To add to the mutated host.
But it's very worth it (Sloth commands!),
So get to the Trading Post.

One jug or vial of the glistening glop
Is enough to do the trick!
Tell your 'pets to ignore the smell
And make them drink up quick.

In half a moment you'll see the change
Spread across their features.
Twisting, warping, transmogrifying
Into fearsome, ghastly creatures!

Once your Neopet can stand the shock
Of seeing their new reflection,
Ship them to me for a bit of training --
It's for their own protection!

I teach fighting prowess and new ideas;
Make 'pets the most loyal in the room.
Everyone likes loyalty in their 'pets!
(But I didn't say to whom!)

Your mutant 'pet will then return
To your peaceful, cozy Neohome.
Just don't ask them why sometimes at night
They sneak outside to roam.

Rumors of evil deeds and secret plots
Are nothing to worry about.
Jealous lies! All of them! Probably spread
To diminish mutants' enviable clout.

The IMPORTANT thing, dear minion... 
I mean, friend,
Is your "beautiful" new-looking Neopet!
Now go and obey this commercial's commands.
But before you do... FORGET!

*Memory-Blank-O-Matic zaps viewers through screen*

by Lilahne_aluoki

Mutant Day was drawing near,
A holiday that Sloth holds dear
In his heart, or, at least,
That strange, darksome pump
Pushing sludgy ichor through his veins.
So, as the moon waxed and wanes,
He brewed potions noxious and vile,
Brimming with his malicious wile,
And a bit of Sodium Benzoate
To preserve freshness...
Far past the "Use By" date.

Such potions he decanted,
As he gloated, as he ranted,
On about his genius and good looks,
Into bottles twisted into grim
Nightmarish shapes,
Warning those who would partake,
Of the dangers sloshing within 
The dark carafes.
As you know...
Sloth is a master of his craft.

He called Ghartun into his lab,
His trusted Commander of all his bad
Intentions and plans of invasion.
"For there are certain minions,
Which have come to my attention,
As being worthy, beyond question,
Of using my avatar.
Unfortunately, they are
Expecting my personal appearance.
So you, Ghartun, have clearance
To finish these transmogrification potions
In my name.
Just add a bit of scale, or hair, or claw,
To every potion, all,
Of the 'pet into which they'll mutate."
Sloth then left...
For he was late.

Ghartun did as he was bid,
Carefully lifting up each lid,
Adding twisted bits and parts
To each and every potion.
He basked in their dim glow,
As he stacked them row by row.
And when Sloth returned, he praised
his Commander, yes he raised
his voice and said, "I see,
You weren't a complete failure obeying me."

On Mutant Day Sloth came
To Neopia, and gave
Transmogrification potions to everyone he met.
And he cackled evilly,
With overbearing glee,
As 'pets drank down his tainted gift;
Began to squirm, began to shift,
Within a cloud of phosphorescent fog.
Sloth blinked his eyes...
At a crowd of Mortogs.

"What's this?" Sloth reached down
And picked a Mortog off the ground.
"Ghartun, what exactly did you do?"

The brutal commander, well, he knew,
He'd be punished, it was true,
So he said, "I only did
Precisely what you bid,
And finished brewing all of your
Trans-Mortog-ification potions,
By adding in the various parts
Of Mortogs...
Legs and hearts."

Surrounded by Mortogs on Mutant Day,
Sloth clutched his chest and began to sway,
As 'pets came in from miles around
To kiss Mortogs; they picked them up
Then placed them down
As royal 'pets of regal mien.
It was a touching, sickly scene.
Where there should have been great grief,
Joy blossomed to the 'pets relief.
"Let's give three cheers for Mutant Day!"
The royal 'pets gave a large "Hurray!"

Sloth retreated; Ghartun's antennas in his fist.
And vowed, adding it to the lengthy list
Of wicked deeds to commit,
That he would teach his erring commander,
With complete and utter candor,
How to spell
All the ingredients, foul and fell,
That make a transmogrification potion.
None of which were Mortogs...
The cause of Ghartun's recent demotion.

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